Tips for Surviving A Recession

***DISCLAIMER***

I started writing this post like two or three months ago (I want to say right around Thanksgiving), before Australia had totally burned to the ground and before Trump decided to provoke Iran, thus destroying any chance we have at all for a future.  Let’s be honest here, I don’t think humanity is going to make it another five years.

Since this post was initially written, the holidays have come and gone, the New Year has arrived, and I have decided to stop buying fast fashion, or any new clothes at all… yes, I will continue wearing the same damn shoes until I receive warnings from HR about how my foot odor is offending people at work.

I have also decided to become a vegan (not sure how long I can last without cheese or eggs, but I will try), and give up alcohol and other illegal substances.  I am also going to try to be more consistent with this blog.  Cheers, kids.

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Daydreaming about Robbie Williams….

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TIPS FOR SURVIVING A RECESSION (Blog entry from November, 2019):

I wanted to write this blog a few months ago when I started reading about another oncoming recession all over the news.  I figured I have some viable tips for those of you who were too young to really experience the recession of 2008 firsthand, or those of you who weren’t affected the first time around (consider yourselves very lucky).  I survived the great recession of 2008 – just barely though:  I haven’t touched my student loan debt, I don’t own a house nor can I afford to, I work just to pay bills, I throw money to the wind each month, renting an apartment I will never own, and at this rate (and given a number of other extraneous factors such as global warming, imminent nuclear war / terrorist attacks at the hands of Iran, and societal collapse on the horizon…) I doubt I will ever have children.  C’est la vie…. at least I’ve got my cats.

Anyhow, I’m currently sitting here browsing slutty clothes and 7-inch platform boots on DollsKill.com.  Hey – life is short, and no matter what, I’m not going to be able to afford a house or kids, so I might as well purchase some cheap thrills while I’m still semi-young (not that I’m young) and decent looking (not that I am that either).  I can honestly say I never spend money on lunch or coffee… I don’t even eat lunch. I think I deserve some frivolous party shoes once or twice a year to compensate. The press is always bitching about Millennials wasting money on Starbucks and avocado toast, but when you’re $50K in the hole with no future in sight, you kind of have to live in the moment and treat yourself to the tiny luxuries that you CAN afford. If we never went out for a night of drinks once every month, or bought a new winter coat we desperately need, our quality of life would be even more miserable than it already is, just trying to save and pay our bills.

I digress though.  I graduated in 2011 when the recession was at its’ worst and the unemployment rate at its highest.  The times were basically rock bottom in terms of available jobs/work.  I have two worthless degrees in fashion merchandising and theatre.  I still sometimes hate myself for not swallowing my pride and my passions, and just going to school for engineering or to become a doctor.  At least then I would have a lucrative career.  JK…. I would never.  I’d rather continue to struggle and live paycheck to paycheck with enough time to still pursue some of my passions on the side (i.e. this blog,  a social life, cooking, my cats, etc.).

When I graduated, and I’m speaking generally here, one was lucky to even find a part-time RETAIL job.  I’m being serious.  This isn’t a lie or exaggeration, kids. Even jobs that required no degree and minimal experience were extremely scarce and hard to come by.  And finding a job in your own home town (if you came from a small, rural town)???? FORGET ABOUT IT.  I started working at the Shiseido makeup counter at Macy’s, which was a 30 minute drive from my parent’s house where I lived after graduating.  I got “lucky” (I use this term very loosely here… ) to have a friend who worked for Abercombie & Fitch as a manager and hooked me up with an interview there after I’d spent the summer of 2011 playing with makeup.  I thought I’d scored big-time, because at least the job with Abercrombie required a 4-year degree, had benefits like a 401K and insurance, and paid time off.  Little did I know, I was in for a real ride….

One day, when life affords me the luxury of no longer having to work a 9-5 day job, you can read all about my days with Abercrombie/Hollister on my old blog, which is currently incognito on the inter-webs.  I had to make the blog private for the purposes of my current, corporate job…. since I didn’t hold back in terms what I wrote about or discussed online back then. I could write a book about my time with A&F/HCo., and one day I truly hope to do so…

Enough about that though.  I eventually saved up a decent chunk of money and moved to NYC with no job lined up in the fall of 2012.  This is where the struggle truly began, and how I learned to thrive (or just barley scrape by, rather) in the midst of the economy’s worst recession since the Great Depression of the 1920’s.

It took me three whole months to find a “job,” and then, the job I had was working only part-time at a night club/concert venue as a cocktail waitress and weekend hostess.  I never knew if I’d be working 5 seated-shows a week (the most lucrative type since people would order food and drinks), or only 2 standing-room-only shows with an audience of underage kids (the least lucrative shows… obviously).  My paychecks ranged from $120 on a terrible week (i.e. 4 dark days and 2 nights of hostessing) to $480 on a decent week, working 4-5 seated shows.  Of course there were take-home cash tips, but those were usually spent going out for after-work drinks at the Irish dive bars on 14th street with my fellow co-workers, where we would commiserate over how little we’d made that night, how awful the crowd was, and how depressed and poor we were working at this shitty venue when the lot of us aspired to so much more in life (i.e. artistic endeavors, full-time employment… sugar daddies…).

My rent was only $650 when I first moved to NYC (don’t ask… I literally had the most baller apartment for what is the BEST DEAL ever heard of).  My rent quickly increased to $800 after a couple of months, and then to $1,000 after a year.  My fickle work as a server wasn’t allowing me to even make rent, so I swallowed my pride and went back to HCo. on fifth ave, working as a manager, where at least I had a consistent paycheck and health insurance.

Between 2012 and 2016 when I finally landed a decent job, were the toughest four years of my life, financially speaking.  This is when I really honed in on my skills as a chef, learning how to survive on one bag of frozen peas a week and a handful of uncooked rice.  I learned how to scrape together just enough money to pay rent doing whatever it took – whether it meant counting spare change, taking on babysitting jobs in the morning before working closing shifts at Hollister, or forgoing what most people consider household essentials, like coffee creamer, paper towels, and well…. food in general.

Given the current state of the economy, and the fact that things have been slow as hell for me at work in the last month or so, I’m growing nervous that it’s true that another recession is on the way.  This time, I’ll be prepared though…. bring it on baby.  Nothing can hurt me now. You know what actually makes me feel even more carefree these days?  The fact that we’re probably all going to die in a nuclear war or from complete global destruction due to climate change before I ever even begin to pay back my student debt….

MY TIPS FOR SURVIVING A RECESSION

  1. There is no such thing as job security.  Never get too comfortable – it can be taken away from you at any time through no fault of your own.  Never take your job for granted either, even though you hate it (we all do).  You need money to pay rent and bills and to purchase enough food to survive and/or enough alcohol and drugs to make you occasionally forget how fucking shitty and pointless your life is.  No job is permanent and any job can be taken away in the blink of an eye (usually when you least expect it to).  You could be laid off if the economy tanks and your company can no longer afford your position.  This happened in the last recession… workers who’d been with the same company for 25 years and were only 3 years away from retiring lost their jobs and their 401Ks.  Pretty shitty, right?  This is why I wake up each day with the fear of God in my heart.  It’s better to be scared about losing your job then it is to be too confident that it can’t happen to you.  It can happen to you, and living life with anxiety over job security simply prepares you for the worst. It happened to me once and it wasn’t even the recession.  The start up company I worked for in 2016 tanked after five months and couldn’t afford to pay me. No notice… no nothing.
  2.  Girl, you better WORK.  One does what one must to make rent and put food on the table.  Even if this means selling yourself short of your credentials/qualifications/education/desired salary, or, in some cases, literally selling yourself (I’ve never done it, but I know girls who basically have sex with someone they’re not really into, in return for having their rent paid or fancy dinners here and there or like, a Mysterland ticket and nice hotel).  I’m not saying this is noble or respectable, but sometimes desperate means call for desperate measures.  If you’re young and attractive and don’t have a family to hurt, stripping is always an option too.  In a major city it will definitely be much more lucrative than elsewhere, and people less likely to find out if you’re trying to keep it on the down-low.  If you’re attractive and young, in fact, I highly suggest capitalizing on it while it lasts – because it doesn’t last forever.  You might as well make a decent living off of what your mama (or your plastic surgeon) gave you.  There are always ads out for bottle servers, hostesses, bartenders, etc., and in this city at the right venue, you could make a SHIT TON of money doing any of those service jobs.  You don’t really need experience if you’re young and hot and/or know the right person.  It’s also good to be flexible in tough economic times, and willing to do shitty work.  I mean, if your standards are too high and the economy crashes, you’re not really going to survive if you’re not willing to do some less-than-savory jobs to make ends meet.  For example, I cleaned houses and a church on a weekly basis at one point in college, because it was impossible to even find a part-time retail job.  I’m not making this up.  In 2008-2009, I cleaned a church rectory on a weekly basis, and then a few older ladies at church inquired about me cleaning their personal residences, and I did.  It honestly wasn’t a bad job – kind of gross to clean someone else’s toilet and bathtub, but the money was decent and not taxed, and old people are generally very sweet and lovely to talk to.  I would do it again.  Hell, I would probably do it now, if someone asked me if I had availability to do so.  Could always use some extra spending money…
  3. Learning to live on a bare-bones diet.  Have you ever cried because you’re so hungry and all you have in your house is some white rice and mustard? I have.  Have you ever had to choose between buying paper towels to clean your counter tops, or some coffee creamer so you didn’t have to keep drinking your coffee black?  I have.  It’s all about priorities – and sometimes we think that we can forgo food, or at least eat minimally to save money, especially when we also prioritize thinness.  Well, when your parents already put some extra money in your bank account but you used it to pay rent and then foolishly bought a couple of $5 vodka sodas at McKenna’s (because you don’t know how to tell your friends that you’re broke), and now you don’t even have $6 to buy a box of pasta and some Prego at the local grocery store, shit really hits home.  You’re going to have to learn how to get creative with some frozen white bread and a couple of teaspoons of Parmesan or how to make a meal out of lentils, curry powder, and some frozen corn last you three days.  On the plus side, you won’t have to worry about the next time that you can afford to get drunk and order a pizza at 2am, since you’ll likely be malnourished as fuck.
  4. Interviewing: It’s not you, it’s THEM. Just because there isn’t a real availability of viable, living-wage paying jobs, doesn’t mean there won’t be hundreds of listed positions and interviews which you’ll desperately go, on trying to make something work.  You’ll probably apply for jobs you have no interest in whatsoever, just because you need a paycheck:  part-time retail positions at a shoe store that sells ugly clogs, a dog-walking position, a nannying position, even though you hate kids…. the list goes on. If you’re like I was (and still am), you’ll apply for and go on hundreds of interviews and you won’t get offered any of the positions, even though you are mostly likely A) qualified, B) experienced, or C) could easily do whatever is asked of you.  I started to think it was me and beat myself up.  I decided I wasn’t getting hired because I was too old, too ugly, too short, too fat, too nice, etc., etc..  I honestly probably wasn’t getting hired, because they were saving the position for the assistant manager’s brother-in-law who just graduated and wanted the job.  Jobs go to those with the personal/family connections when there aren’t many jobs to be had.  Don’t take it too personally or it will really wear away at your self-confidence.

Easter Dinner – A Meal to Impress

IMG_7560I am really happy right now because I found a pair of my favorite Hollister boyfriend-style, super-low rise jeans, in mint condition for only $10.   This is the only thing “giving me life” (as the kids nowadays like to say…) on a Monday evening.  What a fucking steal!

My favorite light-wash, destroyed boyfriend jeans from Hollister (*which I have had for the past 5 years), I have literally worn to pieces. They were already “destroyed” when I bought them, but now the holes that they came with are basically the entire length of the jeans, and I’ve worn them so much that they are loose around the waist because every thread of elastic has been worn out. It’s a miracle I was able to find the same pair again since they’re no longer carried in stores. Thank God for second-hand, online retailers! It’s the small things in life….

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Baggin’ Saggin’ Barry right here – I’ve had these babies since 2014 and now, even with a replacement, I still can’t bear to throw them out.  They’re like my second skin – I’ve worn them to so many concerts, bars, parties, and just have so many good memories in them. I think I’ll keep them forever…. they’re like my security blanket.

I didn’t go home for Easter this year.  I hate missing family holidays… especially now that my parents are getting older, I’m getting older, and I’ve realized I am not and they’re not as immortal as I once upon a time thought when I was in my early twenties. It’s hard to go home for a “weekend” when you’re not off on Friday or Monday however, and therefore would either have to request off one of the aforementioned days, or take public transit and then come home same day.  Easter is a holiday that falls on a Sunday every year – it doesn’t make sense to not be granted the following Monday after off, even if it’s a religious holiday – travel time people!

I made do given the circumstances and prepared a delicious meal for two.  I know most people have an Easter ham or some sort of roast, but since It was only the two of us, and I’m still trying to refrain from eating land animals (***there have been a few slip ups when intoxicated) I decided to make seafood instead.  I’ve realized that everything looks fancier when it’s served over a puree or sauce, so in order to make this meal special for the holiday, I decided to make a split-pea puree to accompany the scallops.  I also made mussels in a white wine sauce, and a salad for some greens/fiber.

This is a meal to cook if you want to impress someone – whether it’s a significant other, your mother, your father, a good friend, or someone you really care about and generally just want to treat well.  It not only tastes fucking amazing, but it’s also a filling meal, which I find important, and the presentation is what makes it especially impressive when served in the comforts of your own home.

FOR THE SPLIT-PEA PUREE

INGREDIENTS:

  • 1 cup of dried split-peas
  • 1 stalk of celery, finely diced
  • 1 small Idaho or white potato (peeled and cut into cubes)
  • 4 cloves of garlic, peeled and finely minced
  • 3 cups chicken stock
  • 3 Tbs olive oil
  • 1/2 cup frozen, green peas
  • sprinkle of cayenne pepper
  • salt and pepper to taste
  • 4 Tbs. heavy cream

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DIRECTIONS:

  • Heat the olive oil over low-heat in a saucepan/small pot
  • Add in the minced garlic and cook over low heat for about a minute and a half
  • add in the celery, split peas, cubed potato, and the stock and raise the heat to medium-high
  • bring to a boil and cook until the peas and the potato are tender (you’ll need to taste test)
  • Add in the frozen peas and cook for another minute
  • at this point, most of the liquid should be absorbed, but not all of it! Some liquid is important for the process of blending… but you’ll be able to add more as necessaryIMG_7507
  • Once the peas are soft and the potato is cooked through, turn off the heat and let cool for a few minutes
  • Place contents of the pot into a blender, along with a dash of cayenne pepper and some salt and pepper
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Cooked mixture in the blender (pre-blending)
  • Blend on low-medium setting, until the consistency becomes thick and uniform
  • Add some heavy cream and/or more chicken stock as necessary (you’ll probably need a bit more liquid)
  • Make sure to taste-test to determine whether more salt, pepper, or cayenne pepper is needed
  • Puree should end up being a smooth, thick consistency
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Perfect consistency here… add more liquid as necessary
  • Set aside while you prepare the scallops and mussels
  • Please note:  I suggest doing the mussels and salad next and saving the scallops for last, since you’ll want to serve them hot.

FOR THE SALAD

  • I went basic AF for the salad here, so it’s pretty much just pure roughage
  • I used: Arugula, alfalfa sprouts, and grape tomatoes
  • For the dressing: 1/3 cup mayo, 1/3 cup Parmesan cheese, juice from one lemon, 1 Tbs. olive oil, 3 tsp. white vinegar, freshly ground black pepper – whisk together in small bowl and voila!
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Homemade salad dressing makes all the difference – if you have an aversion to mayo or want to be healthier, I’d suggest just using olive oil, a spritz of fresh lemon juice, and then sprinkle with salt and pepper, and/or some balsamic vinegar

FOR THE MUSSELS

INGREDIENTS:

  • 1 finely minced shallot
  • 2 dried or fresh bay leaves
  • 2 Tbs. olive oil
  • 3 Tbs. butter
  • 3 cloves of finely minced garlic
  • 1 lb. (1 bag) of fresh mussels
  • 1 tsp. red pepper flakes
  • 1 tsp. thyme (dried or freshly chopped)
  • juice from one lemon
  • 1 cup white wine
  • 1/2 cup heavy cream
  • salt/pepper to taste
  • 1 Tbs. freshly chopped parsley
  • Toast to serve (tastes like heaven dipped in the mussel sauce!)

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DIRECTIONS:

  • In a wok or large sauce pan, heat the olive oil over low heat
  • Add in the minced shallots and cook for 2 minutes, stirring occasionally
  • Add in the minced garlic and cook for another minute
  • Add in the bay leaves, red pepper flakes, and butter and cook for another minute
  • Add in the mussels and increase the heat to low-medium
  • As soon as you’ve added the mussels and turned up the heat, add in the wine!
  • Add in the fresh lemon juice
  • Cover with a lid and wait about 2 minutes or so, until you see the mussel shells opening
  • Add in the cream and fresh parsley and give a good stir
  • Add in some pepper and salt and give another good stir
  • Once mussels seem pretty opened, turn off burner and remove from heat – set aside

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Hell yeah – the toast dipped in that sauce is heaven on Earth

FOR THE SCALLOPS

INGREDIENTS:

  • 1 lb. fresh sea scallops (patted dry with paper towels… they MUST BE DRY to cook, excess moisture means they won’t brown at all)
  • 3 cloves finely minced garlic
  • 2 Tbs. butter
  • Salt and pepper
  • 2 Tbs. freshly squeezed lemon juice
  • 3 Tbs. white wine
  • Split-pea puree
  • sprinkling of alfalfa sprouts

DIRECTIONS:

  • Pat the scallops dry with paper towels
  • Salt and pepper the scallops on both sides
  • Heat butter in a shallow, saucepan over low heat
  • Add in the garlic and cook over low heat for about 1 minute
  • Add in the scallops and increase the heat to low-medium
  • Cook for 2 minutes on each side (approximately 4 minutes in total)
  • sprinkle with lemon juice and white wine, lower heat and cook for another 30 seconds
  • remove from heat
  • re-heat the split pea puree (microwave or stove top)
  • Plate the split pea puree, and plate the scallops with sauce
  • Garnish with alfalfa sprouts and serve hot
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Perfection

And now I am hungry again sitting here writing about this meal… that’s how good it was!

I also did some painting this weekend:

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This one took a surprisingly happy turn, what with the yellow flowers and bright background… still not finished though

Tuna (the new kitten) is coming home this next weekend, and I think Mr. Peeper can sense that he’s about to no longer be the only child because he has been extra lovely:

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Took Peeps for a nice, long stroller on Easter morning.

Cheers.