This dish truly was a perfect 10, by my boyfriend’s accord, and by my own accord… which really says something since I’m usually full from taste-testing by the time I sit down to eat whatever I’ve cooked… I wanted second and thirds
Tomorrow is Thursday (actually it’s going to be Thursday in about 30 minutes), so that means I have almost made it to vacation. I cannot wait to have a full week off of work… I haven’t had more than a few days off since last summer when I went on an *almost* three-week vacation.
I cannot wait to be off work, first and foremost. Being out of the city and in Maine is secondary. Is that sad?! Probably. I just really cannot wait. I don’t want to do anything I don’t want to do (I will be on my own schedule, I will not be conned into eating breakfast (I don’t do breakfast, darling), or even worse, conned into eating a breakfast at 8 a.m.). Life is about to be so good for 7 days.
I’ve been off and on fake tanning for the last week or so. I did a heavy application of St. Tropez self bronzing mousse last weekend and loved the result, but then went to my friend’s house where I marinated in a hot tub all night, and as a result, lost the entire tan.
As you can see, there is always some discoloring on the palms and around the ankles, but for a redhead who is pale as fuck and doesn’t tan…. it’s totally worth it to have a few splotches. I get so jealous in the summer when every single person is tan as fuck – everyone looks better tan! You automatically look thinner and your muscles look more defined when your skin is darker. However, I must admit that I feel self-conscious walking around in broad daylight with my fake tan, because I feel like I look orange (like Donald Trump orange) and people are staring at me. Than again, it could all just be in my head…. I don’t know.
I do know the tan photographs well, but that might be about it. I also know my legs look way better in shorts when they’re tan and/or orange. It makes it hard to choose between the lessor of two evils… white and bruised, or fluorescent orange and thinner…
Anyhow! I cannot wait for Maine. I am going to go sea kayaking, and biking, and eat seafood chowder, and just fucking relax. It’s really hard for me to relax….
I cooked this awesome Cacio e Pepe on Monday night, with shrimp on top. I was inspired by an Italian food blog I follow on Instagram, although I couldn’t locate the post again to share here. The recipe that follows is my own, made-up version, as the blog I follow doesn’t post recipes.. only pictures.
INGREDIENTS:
Pecorino Romano (whole wedge/block which you’ll grate a full cup of)
1/2 cup freshly grated Parmigiano Reggiano
1 box farfalle (the Italian term for pasta “bow ties”)
1 egg
1 lb. fresh or frozen shrimp
Fresh basil leaves
1 lemon
salt and pepper
garlic salt
pasta water (water taken from pasta pot)
2 Tbs. butter
1/3 cup olive oil
DIRECTIONS:
Peel and rinse shrimp (thaw first, if you’re starting with frozen), and then chop into fine pieces and set aside in small bowl
Squeeze juice from one lemon over onto the shrimp, and add some salt and pepper to taste, along with 2 Tbs. olive oil; mix together and set aside.
Put on a large pot of heavily-salted water onto high heat and bring to a boil (for pasta)
While the water heats up…
FOR THE SAUCE:
In separate bowl, add 1/2 cup Parmigiano-Reggiano, grate in 1 full cup of fresh Pecorino Romano, add one egg, 1/4 cup olive oil, and a GENEROUS amount of black pepper (1 Tbs. plus some)
Whisk the above mixture together until thick and uniform – set aside!
Once the water is boiling, add in the box of pasta and stir occasionally
Boil pasta for recommended length of time (according to instructions on box)
BEFORE YOU DRAIN THE PASTA, ladle out 1/2 cup of pasta water using a measuring cup or ladle, and pour directly into your sauce mixture and whisk IMMEDIATELY until uniform!
Whip it real good… or rather, whisk it real good
Drain the pasta and add back to pot and place over lowest possible heat setting, stir in the sauce, remove from heat, and set aside
You would have an amazing Cacio e Pepe at this point if you wanted to call it a day and/or you don’t want to cook or don’t actually like shrimp… the shrimp just brings it to another level of heavenly-ness and makes the dish look better
FOR THE SHRIMP:
Heat 2 Tbs. of olive oil over low heat in a saute pan
Add in shrimp and stir around until cooked through (shrimp turns orange when cooked)… DO NOT over cook. Since the shrimp is chopped so finely, it should only take a couple of minutes max.
Plate your pasta, and top with a couple spoonfuls of shrimp
Chop the basil and sprinkle fresh basil on top to finish
Buon appetito bitches
Update: I stopped writing last night because I was too tired to finish the recipe. It is now Friday at 12:19 a.m. and I have only one more work day until I am home free and on vacation. Hallelujah!
I have a great idea for my next blog… how to survive a recession from someone who has already been there and done that. I have the ultimate tips for surviving on no money, minimal food, and the stress of being in a recession without a steady job or paycheck.
Here’s a picture of the lovely cheese pizza I ate on Sunday, before I launch into a tirade about the state of this nation and you wonder why you’re ready this “food” blogHere is a picture of my Sunday evening vino at Huckleberry Bar, where I relaxed for a couple of hours before the real world kicked my ass on Monday morning. You’ll probably need some vino yourself after readying this blog….
#TRIGGERED Usually I HATE when people say they’re “triggered,” but tonight, it’s the only way to describe how I am feeling based on everything that’s going on in this world and out of my control.
It’s 11:05pm on a Wednesday night in August, 2019, and I am already worrying about the outcome of the 2020 presidential election. If Trump wins a second term, I am seriously convinced the entire government is rigged by the 1% (I mean, we already know it is, but…still….). I cannot continue to live in this nation as an American citizen, a nation that has become a disgrace among all of the other developed nations since November 2016. My cat’s a$$hole would be a better president than Trump at this point in time. Furthermore, Lord knows, that in the year 2020, America is still not progressive enough (and certainly MUCH less progressive than we were even 10 years ago) to elect a woman as president of the United States. At this point in time, I’m strongly Bernie or bust. This country needs tax reform, gun reform, free health care, and better/free education for the masses. We need someone who will lift of us up out of this dark spiral into which we’ve been dragged down for the last several years.
The whole Jeffrey Epstein scandal has made me sick to my stomach and furious since he was re-arrested back in July, and even more so since he “killed himself” last weekend. I’ve been following this scandal since the first time he was convicted back in 2008. I usually don’t believe in conspiracies, but I am quite certain that Epstein must have had the dirtiest of the dirt on a ring of high-profile pedophiles running our own government as well as others (hello Prince Andrew and Mohhamed Bin Salman… looking at you). Dude was clearly murdered before he could spill the beans and create more issues within our government. The government is the reason he got such a light sentence back in 2008 in the first place (Alexander Acosta…. all of the high-profile, government pedos involved back then).
I’m also sickened by the treatment of refugees and those seeking asylum or a better life for themselves and their families in this nation. It’s a damn shame that in the year 2020, in America, our government is tearing innocent families apart, jailing both children and parents in deplorable conditions.
The government corruption, together with the ever increasing threat of destruction of environment and wildlife due to humanity has really brought me to a breaking point tonight. My boyfriend just got home from work and told me he thinks Donald Trump will win a second term and it’s lit a fire I haven’t felt in months. I am not being far-fetched when I say that I will have to pull a Hunter S. Thompson in the event that Trump is re-elected. Either that, or I will have to move to Venice and live with my boyfriend’s parents, with or without him. I can’t stay in this country that’s falling apart at the seams if there is no hope for the future.
I already assume we’ll all be dead, or at least in the midst of societal collapse, in the next 10-15 years given the impact of global warming, extreme weather, crop failure, destruction of top soil, plastic pollution, mass migration due to all of these factors, water shortages, etc.. I can’t just stay here as an American citizen and watch what used to be one of the greatest nations in the world with the most civil liberties slowly be ground into complete destruction beyond redemption by greedy corporations, corrupt government, and absolute ignorance and neglect in terms of saving what we have left of the natural world. Instead, we have been turned against each other, the country has once again become rife with racism and sexism due to our esteemed leader and anti-right propaganda, we have to fear being shot as we go about our daily lives, not by ISIS, but by home-grown, white, domestic terrorist psychopaths…. this is no way to live.
Meanwhile, people keep eating factory-farm raised beef and processed chicken nuggets, throwing around plastic, and spraying chemicals on their lawns, with their phone in their hand 24/7, more concerned about the latest episode of the Kardashians, or with some celebrity’s tweet, than about taking what small steps they can to help save the Earth before it’s too late. I am not perfect, FAR from it. But at least I am AWARE and I am TRYING to help in whatever small way I can. I saw some 10 year old girl throw a plastic bottle on the sidewalk yesterday and I almost lost my shit on her, but I knew her mom would have words with me/kick my ass if I reprimanded her child. THIS is the world we live in… this is why people pollute and this is why people don’t give a fuck… they aren’t taught to care.
Anyhow…. before I self implode, let me pour myself a glass of wine to take some of the edge off and focus on something pleasant. Like food. Also, music.
I went to see Korn and Alice in Chains last Wednesday and they were everything I hoped for and then some. Both bands honestly surpassed my expectations and Jonathan Davis of Korn was much hotter than I expected. Oh, and somehow we were front and center!!!!! Not sure how that happened…. but it was fucking awesome:
Jerry Cantrell… up close and personal…. I can die happy now. William DuVall – current lead singer of Alice in Chains. Alice in Chains is one of my favorite bands and they sounded as good live as they do recorded… I am so happy we made the trek to Jones Beach for this concertJonathan Davis in a kilt… that’s hot. Also, this security dude is legit in every picture and video I took since I was in front of the stage… LOL.
I’d have to say, apart from the perfect concert (and this one actually was PERFECT – right up there with NIN and Soundgarden in 2014), the other highlight of the day was getting back to NYC at 12:30am and getting empanadas at Empanada Mama on the Lower East Side because we were starving.
HOLY SHIT… if you haven’t been to Empanada Mama, you MUST GO. Maybe we were starving from walking around all day, slightly drunk, and exhausted. But damn, those empanadas were delicious and inspired me to try my hand at making my own the next day. They have this one empanada that is off the hook called the “Viagra”. It’s stuffed with shrimp and imitation crab and its beyond. I have to go back to Empanada Mama soon. The best part? They’re open 24/7! Despite being open 24/7, it’s pretty nice inside with lots of seating, a full bar, good lighting, and decent decor.
The Viagra empanadas were so good that when I woke up the next day, I was craving more and attempted to recreate them at home!
They turned out pretty good! Not nearly as good as EM, but good for my first try and for making the dough from scratch. I kind of want to get a part-time job at Empanada Mama so I can learn their secrets!
Last night, I made a vegetarian “sausage” and mushroom fettuccine dish, that was so good it fooled my boyfriend into thinking it was actually real meat (he had no idea it was a ‘veggie’ sausage).
I’ll write the recipe for this one tomorrow. Hopefully I won’t be feeling as triggered then. LOL.
Not the comeliest of dishes (but than again, neither am I – so who am I to judge?), but it tastes like $1,000,000
DISCLAIMER:
This blog will eventually get to the food/cooking/recipe aspect that it was initially intended for. I’ve taken a slight detour along the way and have started incorporating other bullshit into my blog, as I need a safe space to express myself and the world today is not a very safe place at all (no more abortion in the state of Alabama… like WTF? I guess we’ve gone back to the dark ages…. don’t even get me started, we live in a fucking sickening time in history… how did we let it come back to this????).
If you’re wondering why I haven’t posted lately (which I doubt you are, since no one actually reads this piece of shit blog…), I’ve been too busy being a cat-mom (basically a full-time job within itself… unless you’re actually a BAD cat mom), and cleaning non-stop (obviously my TRUE calling in life).
Yes, what a gripping life I do lead! (I want to say that’s a line from Notting Hill, but I could be wrong… might be Bridget Jones… I used to be OBSESSED with Hugh Grant when I was 12… I still might be… I digress).
All week long I wait for the weekend, so I can cast aside my Hillary Clinton slacks and unflattering, masculine button-ups in favor of something more my style… I really need to find a job where I can where whatever I want ergo, I need to be my own boss. I’ve also been searching for a replacement for this top for the last 4 years… it is my favorite. I created it from a Zara top that I completely reconstructed but now it’s falling apart, along with my collagen and my ambitions in life… it’s all a mess here.
If you didn’t read my last blog, please do – it’s writing I’m actually really excited to share and want to do more of/with. I have way too much fun writing this kind of stuff. For the next installment of ‘Indigo Wren,’ Indigo is going to sail his hand-crafted raft to France, make his way to Paris, and then attempt to live like Ernest Hemingway while also becoming gender neutral. I know… this blog has basically evolved from what was originally supposed to be a food/cooking blog into the madcap nonsense of yesteryear (aka, the shit I used to write on my old blog, God rest its soul). Yes, I’m twisted.
Honk if you know where this is – we can only be friends if you do… JK
Last week, I spent basically the entire week cleaning up after my sick cats; first Tuna (the kitten), followed by Mr. Peeper. I took Tuna to the emergency vet that’s open 24/7 last Tuesday, after several psychotic, older women on the ‘Persian Cat Health Board’ I belong to, and subsequently posted to, advised me to do so, IMMEDIATELY!!! Their reasoning was that I should bring Tuna to the vet ASAP since he is still a little kitten and was basically shitting his brains out in addition to vomiting last Tuesday night – they said he could dehydrate and die easily. Obviously, that freaked me out and since they’re all cat experts and/or breeders, I listened to their advice and I went. The 24/7 vet not only cost a pretty penny (which I would have preferred to spend on new heels and/or partying), but it also ruined my entire Tuesday evening since I didn’t get home again until after 11 p.m. and then couldn’t sleep until 2 a.m.. In case you’re wondering why I haven’t cooked anything noteworthy lately (which you’re not, because you probably order take out every night), it’s because I’ve been so tired and busy raising a kitten that I have no energy left when it’s time to cook.
This one is a real hell-raiser – like his dad. This picture was taken before he let me attack those boogers with a Q-tip (so don’t judge me)… but how cute is that face?!
Luckily, Tuna was fine and was back to his crack-baby self the next morning (he didn’t swallow any objects and doesn’t have any terminal illnesses – what a relief). However, whatever he did have must have been a virus which he then passed it onto Mr. Peeper, and it was 10 times worse for poor Peeps. Peeps started throwing up Wednesday night around 10 p.m., and threw up 6 more times before I went to bed at 1:30 a.m.. He also had a couple of explosive BMs (Bowel Movements), if you know what I’m saying…. (sorry for being gross, but it’s true). I hadn’t slept much the night before because of Tuna, and then I had to stay up a second night in a row cleaning cat vomit and worried about my baby Peeps.
I hoped he’d be better when I woke up the next morning, but I walked out of the bedroom to a living room/kitchen/bathroom area covered with at least 6 additional puke spots. But the worst part, if you must know, was that poor Peeps was laying behind the curtains in the living room window, with the 6:30 a.m. intense, dawn sunlight coming in directly upon him, not moving, non-responsive, not hungry for breakfast, and totally covered in his own shit. Good morning indeed! I started crying because I thought he was going to die… he didn’t even acknowledge me when I came out of my bedroom and he didn’t want breakfast.
I called out of work immediately and spent all morning giving Peeper a bath (he hated me, but was so weak he hardly tried to escape), cleaning the floors, disinfecting everything, and feeding him liquids out of a syringe. Yes… I transformed into a nurse. I thought I was going to have to drop another $300 I don’t have on the vet, and I happily would have it meant making my baby better, but luckily he didn’t throw up or shit again and kept down the combo of goat’s milk and Greek yogurt I gave him… I’m basically a registered cat nurse now.
I love this cat more than I love myself… which isn’t saying much. I love him more than most people though – that’s for sure. I lost Bijou last year, and I’ll be damned if I lose another baby anytime soon if I can prevent it (*** after writing this sentence, I’ve realized I am a full fledged cat lady who may or may not ever have human children)
Anyhow. I haven’t had time to cook anything that spectacular lately. I did make a pretty legit seafood risotto on Friday of last week, once the house was clean, the cats were better, and I finally had some ambition.
Seafood risotto with shrimp, scallops and San Marzano tomatoes.
The dish I made the week prior though is where it’s really at:
Pasta e potate e cozze = pasta with potatoes and mussels!
Yes, this dish was time consuming as hell to make, and it took a lot of ingredients… but it’s fucking worth it (just like you, darling).
INGREDIENTS:
1 bag of small potatoes, unpeeled and diced, OR… 3 large potatoes, peeled and diced
1/2 medium white (or yellow) onion, finely diced
4 cloves garlic, finely diced
1 cup, diced cherry/grape tomatoes
1 cup frozen sweet corn (preferably shaved off the cob)
1 lb. mussels, steamed and de-shelled
2 cups chicken stock
1/2 cup white wine
1 cup heavy cream
2 cups dried, gemelli (or similar shape) pasta
4 Tbs. olive oil
3 Tbs. butter
salt and pepper to taste
1 tsp. dried oregano
1 tsp. dried basil
2 Tbs. freshly chopped parsley
DIRECTIONS:
Rinse/clean the mussels and then steam them until they open!
Once mussels have opened and are cool enough to handle, de-shell and set the meat aside in a bowl
Steam me b*tchMussel meat – YUMMMMM! Seriously – yum… especially with some melted butter…
If you’re working with a bag of small potatoes, dice them; If you’re working with three large potatoes, peel the potatoes first and then dice them
Heat some olive oil and/or butter in a wok or large saucepan over medium heat
Sautee the diced potatoes in olive oil and/or butter until soft (aka penetrable with the tines of a fork)
Add the sweet corn into the saucepan and cook until it’s fully de-thawed
Set 1/3 of the diced potato/corn mixture aside (I just threw it on top of the mussels), and put the other 2/3s of the potato/corn mix into a blender, with a cup and a half of chicken stock – pulse until completely blended (add more stock as necessary until liquid is a thick consistency)
The stuff that gets set aside…The stuff that gets blended into a creamy puree – I add some chicken stock and some heavy cream so I know what flavors I’m working with when the puree is done
Cut the cherry/grape tomatoes into halves and set aside
Heat the butter and/or olive oil in a wok or large, deep saucepan
Add in the minced onions and sautee over low-medium heat until translucent
Add in the garlic and sautee another minute (*DO NOT BURN GARLIC*)
Add in the halved tomatoes and sautee until they become glossy and soft-ish
Add in 1/2 cup dry white wine and simmer for about 2-3 minutes
Add in the potato puree (the stuff you blended)
Add in more chicken stock if necessary and heavy cream
The sauce should be thick-ish, yet not so thick that it can’t fully coat other ingredients that will be added shortly!
FOR THE PASTA:
In another pot, bring heavily-salted water to a boil
Add in the gemelli (or other similarly-shaped-pasta), and boil until al dente (do NOT cook until soft… it will finish cooking IN THE SAUCE)
Drain and set pasta aside!
BACK TO THE SAUCE:
Throw in the rest of the potatoes/corn mixture that was previously set aside (this adds texture and makes the dish more aesthetically pleasing than if everything had been blended into a puree)
Add in the seasonings: Salt, pepper, dried basil, dried oregano
Add in the mussels and fresh basil
Cook for a few minutes over medium heat until everything is cooked through and warm again
Right before the cooked pasta is added back in!
Add in the pasta and cook another minute or so
Let sit for 5-10 minutes and serve in a shallow bowl or plate
Garnish with fresh parsley and enjoy 🙂
Enjoy with a glass (or two, or three) of white wine!
I am really happy right now because I found a pair of my favorite Hollister boyfriend-style, super-low rise jeans, in mint condition for only $10. This is the only thing “giving me life” (as the kids nowadays like to say…) on a Monday evening. What a fucking steal!
My favorite light-wash, destroyed boyfriend jeans from Hollister (*which I have had for the past 5 years), I have literally worn to pieces. They were already “destroyed” when I bought them, but now the holes that they came with are basically the entire length of the jeans, and I’ve worn them so much that they are loose around the waist because every thread of elastic has been worn out. It’s a miracle I was able to find the same pair again since they’re no longer carried in stores. Thank God for second-hand, online retailers! It’s the small things in life….
Baggin’ Saggin’ Barry right here – I’ve had these babies since 2014 and now, even with a replacement, I still can’t bear to throw them out. They’re like my second skin – I’ve worn them to so many concerts, bars, parties, and just have so many good memories in them. I think I’ll keep them forever…. they’re like my security blanket.
I didn’t go home for Easter this year. I hate missing family holidays… especially now that my parents are getting older, I’m getting older, and I’ve realized I am not and they’re not as immortal as I once upon a time thought when I was in my early twenties. It’s hard to go home for a “weekend” when you’re not off on Friday or Monday however, and therefore would either have to request off one of the aforementioned days, or take public transit and then come home same day. Easter is a holiday that falls on a Sunday every year – it doesn’t make sense to not be granted the following Monday after off, even if it’s a religious holiday – travel time people!
I made do given the circumstances and prepared a delicious meal for two. I know most people have an Easter ham or some sort of roast, but since It was only the two of us, and I’m still trying to refrain from eating land animals (***there have been a few slip ups when intoxicated) I decided to make seafood instead. I’ve realized that everything looks fancier when it’s served over a puree or sauce, so in order to make this meal special for the holiday, I decided to make a split-pea puree to accompany the scallops. I also made mussels in a white wine sauce, and a salad for some greens/fiber.
This is a meal to cook if you want to impress someone – whether it’s a significant other, your mother, your father, a good friend, or someone you really care about and generally just want to treat well. It not only tastes fucking amazing, but it’s also a filling meal, which I find important, and the presentation is what makes it especially impressive when served in the comforts of your own home.
FOR THE SPLIT-PEA PUREE
INGREDIENTS:
1 cup of dried split-peas
1 stalk of celery, finely diced
1 small Idaho or white potato (peeled and cut into cubes)
4 cloves of garlic, peeled and finely minced
3 cups chicken stock
3 Tbs olive oil
1/2 cup frozen, green peas
sprinkle of cayenne pepper
salt and pepper to taste
4 Tbs. heavy cream
DIRECTIONS:
Heat the olive oil over low-heat in a saucepan/small pot
Add in the minced garlic and cook over low heat for about a minute and a half
add in the celery, split peas, cubed potato, and the stock and raise the heat to medium-high
bring to a boil and cook until the peas and the potato are tender (you’ll need to taste test)
Add in the frozen peas and cook for another minute
at this point, most of the liquid should be absorbed, but not all of it! Some liquid is important for the process of blending… but you’ll be able to add more as necessary
Once the peas are soft and the potato is cooked through, turn off the heat and let cool for a few minutes
Place contents of the pot into a blender, along with a dash of cayenne pepper and some salt and pepper
Cooked mixture in the blender (pre-blending)
Blend on low-medium setting, until the consistency becomes thick and uniform
Add some heavy cream and/or more chicken stock as necessary (you’ll probably need a bit more liquid)
Make sure to taste-test to determine whether more salt, pepper, or cayenne pepper is needed
Puree should end up being a smooth, thick consistency
Perfect consistency here… add more liquid as necessary
Set aside while you prepare the scallops and mussels
Please note: I suggest doing the mussels and salad next and saving the scallops for last, since you’ll want to serve them hot.
FOR THE SALAD
I went basic AF for the salad here, so it’s pretty much just pure roughage
I used: Arugula, alfalfa sprouts, and grape tomatoes
For the dressing: 1/3 cup mayo, 1/3 cup Parmesan cheese, juice from one lemon, 1 Tbs. olive oil, 3 tsp. white vinegar, freshly ground black pepper – whisk together in small bowl and voila!
Homemade salad dressing makes all the difference – if you have an aversion to mayo or want to be healthier, I’d suggest just using olive oil, a spritz of fresh lemon juice, and then sprinkle with salt and pepper, and/or some balsamic vinegar
FOR THE MUSSELS
INGREDIENTS:
1 finely minced shallot
2 dried or fresh bay leaves
2 Tbs. olive oil
3 Tbs. butter
3 cloves of finely minced garlic
1 lb. (1 bag) of fresh mussels
1 tsp. red pepper flakes
1 tsp. thyme (dried or freshly chopped)
juice from one lemon
1 cup white wine
1/2 cup heavy cream
salt/pepper to taste
1 Tbs. freshly chopped parsley
Toast to serve (tastes like heaven dipped in the mussel sauce!)
DIRECTIONS:
In a wok or large sauce pan, heat the olive oil over low heat
Add in the minced shallots and cook for 2 minutes, stirring occasionally
Add in the minced garlic and cook for another minute
Add in the bay leaves, red pepper flakes, and butter and cook for another minute
Add in the mussels and increase the heat to low-medium
As soon as you’ve added the mussels and turned up the heat, add in the wine!
Add in the fresh lemon juice
Cover with a lid and wait about 2 minutes or so, until you see the mussel shells opening
Add in the cream and fresh parsley and give a good stir
Add in some pepper and salt and give another good stir
Once mussels seem pretty opened, turn off burner and remove from heat – set aside
Hell yeah – the toast dipped in that sauce is heaven on Earth
FOR THE SCALLOPS
INGREDIENTS:
1 lb. fresh sea scallops (patted dry with paper towels… they MUST BE DRY to cook, excess moisture means they won’t brown at all)
3 cloves finely minced garlic
2 Tbs. butter
Salt and pepper
2 Tbs. freshly squeezed lemon juice
3 Tbs. white wine
Split-pea puree
sprinkling of alfalfa sprouts
DIRECTIONS:
Pat the scallops dry with paper towels
Salt and pepper the scallops on both sides
Heat butter in a shallow, saucepan over low heat
Add in the garlic and cook over low heat for about 1 minute
Add in the scallops and increase the heat to low-medium
Cook for 2 minutes on each side (approximately 4 minutes in total)
sprinkle with lemon juice and white wine, lower heat and cook for another 30 seconds
remove from heat
re-heat the split pea puree (microwave or stove top)
Plate the split pea puree, and plate the scallops with sauce
Garnish with alfalfa sprouts and serve hot
Perfection
And now I am hungry again sitting here writing about this meal… that’s how good it was!
I also did some painting this weekend:
This one took a surprisingly happy turn, what with the yellow flowers and bright background… still not finished though
Tuna (the new kitten) is coming home this next weekend, and I think Mr. Peeper can sense that he’s about to no longer be the only child because he has been extra lovely:
Took Peeps for a nice, long stroller on Easter morning.
I was a bit tired and in a rather foul mood when I wrote yesterday’s blog – I’m still in a foul mood (when am I not?), but I’m feeling slightly better about life today. Having a glass of vino and preparing to make the chicken piccata that I intended to make yesterday…
If you’ve never seen the clip from ‘Beavis and Butthead Do America’ where Beavis goes insane on an airplane and screams “piccata for my bung-hole,” please do both of us a favor and go watch it now.
I felt ugly all day today in my button up shirt and slacks (typical) so I came home and put on the tightest black dress I own and proceeded to pour a glass of wine for some inspiration before I commence on the meal I’m about to make. I don’t feel like myself when I’m at work wearing a shirt buttoned up to my thyroid.
Currently in my natural state – all black everything, covered in cat fur, hair up with fly-aways, drinking wine…
Anyhow, here is the recipe for my shrimp risotto… I recommend making this dish if you really want to blow someone’s taste buds. My boyfriend is from Venice and said it’s the best risotto he’s ever had – better than any restaurant. That’s like the best compliment someone could give me other than telling me they like my writing or art work.
So fucking good… you won’t be able to resist or to stop… I know I sure couldn’t.
INGREDIENTS:
1 lb. of raw shrimp (frozen or fresh – as long as they haven’t been cooked yet!)
1 box (32 oz.) of seafood stock
2 cups of uncooked Arborio rice
1 1/2 cup of white wine (any will do as long as it’s not too sweet)
5 cloves of garlic, finely minced
a few sprigs of fresh thyme, finely chopped
1 cup finely grated Parmesan cheese
1/3 cup half and half (light cream)
4 Tbs. butter
3 Tbs. olive oil
1/2 tsp of ground nutmeg
1 tsp of granulated onion or onion powder
1 bay leaf (dried or fresh)
1 tsp dried basil
1 tsp dried oregano
salt and pepper to taste
fresh parsley to garnish
DIRECTIONS:
If the shrimp are frozen, thaw them under warm, running water in a strainer
Whether or not shrimp are fresh or frozen, peel them and then cut them into halves or thirds depending on size, and set aside in a bowl
In a large wok or deep saucepan, heat the olive oil over low heat and add in the minced garlic
Cook garlic over very low heat (being careful not to burn it) for about 1-2 minutes
Add in the rice (yes – the secret to good risotto is slightly cooking the dry rice in the olive oil for a couple of minutes without liquid… I don’t know why, but it adds a depth of flavor)
Continue to stir and cook the rice over a low heat until it’s completely covered in the oil and begins to become ever-so-translucent in color
Raise the heat to medium and add in the white wine (I like to turn up the heat of the burner before adding the wine so that it makes that nice ‘SSSSSsssssss!!!’ sound when it his the hot pan)
Risotto is a dish that has to be stirred pretty much continuously – you can’t really step away from more than 30 seconds, so START STIRRING BIOTCH… and don’t stop!
As the liquid is absorbed by the rice, add in roughly 1 cup of seafood stock at a time, and keep gently stirring until it’s been absorbed
After you’ve added the first cup of seafood and the rice is moist, add in the bay leaf, chopped thyme, and other seasonings (onion powder, basil, oregano, nutmeg, salt and pepper)
Keep adding cup after cup of stock, until you’ve used up the entire contents of the box of stock… by this point, rice should be pretty tender, but neither dry nor too saturated in liquid
Add in the half and half (or cream) and continue to stir
Stir in the grated Parmesan cheese
Add in the raw shrimp and gently stir
Continue cooking over low heat, until shrimp turn orange (this means they’re cooked through!)
Add in the butter and turn off the heat… stir until butter is melted and incorporated thoroughly
Add more salt/pepper to desired taste (if necessary)
Remove the bay leaf, and serve on a plate – garnish with fresh parsley and voila!
OK – I’m going to make chicken PICCATA PICCATA! now (hopefully you’ve watched the Beavis clip so you get it). Chicken piccata will be in my next post …. hopefully it doesn’t take me two weeks to write :p
PS… Tuna comes home next week:
I really hope a second cat is good for Peeps and keeps him company and they end up loving and playing with each other…. knowing my luck, Peeper will become psychotic and piss all over the house or try to attack the kitten. In this case, I don’t know what I will do.
The finished product (aka ‘Experimental Lasagna’) – fresh out of the oven and delightfully melty. I would consider this one of the best things I’ve ever made – and I’ve cooked a lot of dishes
If you’re looking to cook and/or eat the ultimate comfort food, you’ve come to the right place. I don’t know what I would even call this dish – I guess it’s along the lines of a ‘white’ lasagna, but also kind of like a high-end casserole. It combines potatoes (scalloped potatoes, to be specific), 3 different kinds of cheese (goat, mozzarella, and Parmesan), a rich, bechamel sauce, lasagna noodles, zucchini, and prosciutto… how can you possibly go wrong with that combo of ingredients???
I was feeling inspired to make something decadent, and considering that I follow more food blogs than I do people on Instagram (I also follow more animals than I do people, since I hate most people, but that’s a topic for another day), I found plenty of ideas. Most of the food blogs I follow are Italian food blogs, based in and/or around Naples, Rome, Sicily, Puglia, etc.. I also follow a number of what I refer to as ‘gluttony blogs’ (think “pizza stuffed with fried mozzarella, topped with french fries” or like, ‘fried chicken, on top of burger, sandwiched between two soft pretzels, and dripping in cheese’ – I’m sick… I know). Anyhow, I was inspired by the fact that so many of the Italian dishes I see on my IG feed seem to combine potatoes with pasta, or multiple starches and/or carbs in the same dish, which isn’t something I wouldn’t necessarily consider myself.
I don’t think most of these dishes are “traditional Italian” cuisine, per se (although ‘pasta e patate’ is), but DAMN… do they always look enticing when I’m hungry and scrolling down! I’ve seen pizza topped with potatoes, pasta with potatoes, and more pizzas with white sauce than those with typical red sauce. Being the fat bastard I am, and a lover of all of the ingredients I ended up using in this dish on their own, I decided to combine all of them into this masterpiece. I’ll get to the recipe in a bit….
Now that the sun is finally coming out and temps are rising, I’m feeling the need to cut back on the number of decadent dishes and maybe aim towards some lighter fare. I’m also feeling the need for a spray tan… although I always end up Oompa Loompa orange when I try faux tanner
One of life’s greatest quandaries seems to be why the grass always greener on the other side. Lately, my work schedule has been the opposite of my boyfriend’s and half of my friends (since many also work in the hospitality industry). It’s been so awful, that it makes me miss working retail … working retail AT Hollister, if you can believe it. I know… I know what you’re thinking – but hear me out first. You know how shit always seems so bad and awful when you’re actually living it, and then years down the road you look back on that time in your life, and it doesn’t really seem so bad at all in retrospect? Like, yesterday’s problems (the ones I had at 26) were few and far between, considering the problems I have now at the advanced age of 31. The biggest problem I had then was trying to get the fuck out of retail…. and making enough to pay rent since my salary was substantially lower. But in retrospect, the past seems like good times now.
That’s how I’ve been feeling lately. I think maybe it’s the pressure of being in my 30s now, when I have to actually have the future weighing more heavily on my shoulders than I did at 26-28. It takes a while for it to sink in that you’re not going to be young and carefree forever (not that I was EVER carefree, but I certainly wasn’t considering the heavier subjects in life, like if I want to married, whether or not I want to have a kid(s) someday, or saving for retirement, or where I would and would not be willing to relocate based on ageing parents, where my family lives, etc.).
I’m not saying I would ever want to go back to working retail, but there were some very good benefits to be had working in retail management which I was too blind to see or even appreciate at the time.
I could switch my shifts with other managers and usually requested Sunday and Monday’s off, or Mondays and Tuesdays, which was great, since the store closed early on Sunday and I could still do dinner with my boyfriend or go out and party on a Sunday night. I miss those days, since now my window to imbibe is limited only to Friday and Saturday nights when everyone else in the world is out doing the same. You can’t trade shifts working corporate, when everyone works the same damn shift.
I miss having random week days off. It was nice to be one of the few people who had the ability to do their personal shopping, groceries and run errands on days when the majority of people are working, since you have everything to yourself and a calm exists that just isn’t there on the weekend. I also miss (now that the weather is warming up), the ability to grab a glass of wine at 3pm when the sun is out and no one else is there.
I miss having more than one day a week off with my boyfriend. Right now, our only day off together is Sunday, so it’s become sort of a sacred day and I don’t want to make plans with anyone else on Sunday – unless it’s like a party or group dinner or something. When I worked retail, I usually found there was a random weekday I’d have off that would match up with one friend or my boyfriend.
I miss being physically active, moving around, walking, hauling cages of clothes, doing floor sets, folding and doing manual labor – I even miss interacting with customers and helping people. Back then, I didn’t even have to consider how much I was walking in a day, or do push-ups, since my daily work was a workout in itself. Sitting still is awful. I also get bored when every day is the same and I’m not continually meeting new people or training new hires, or interviewing.
That sweet, sweet employee discount.
New Merchandise always felt like Christmas morning – ripping into those boxes and seeing the new clothing before anyone else and trying on/setting aside all of the shit I was about to buy for 50% off…
These things said, I don’t miss working every holiday (Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Memorial Day, July Fourth), working on Saturday mornings after going out on a Friday night, and dealing with awful customers or, even worse, dealing with awful district managers or fellow managers.
These thoughts have been floating around my mind all week. I secretly think I just miss the sense of camaraderie I felt then, since I actually worked with with people I built close friendships with outside of work, and we would talk about our lives and work place drama in the stockroom and while closing down the store each night. It was nice to have people to leave work with and grab Dunkin’Donuts with, and ride the subway back to Brooklyn with each night. I don’t have that now and I’m pretty sure I never will if I keep working corporate.
Committing Carbocide: Self-sabotage, or self-care?
INGREDIENTS:
1/2 box of cooked lasagna noodles (you won’t need a full box)
3 large potatoes; washed and sliced into thin rounds
1/2 white or yellow onion, finely minced
3 cloves of garlic, finely minced
3 TBS. butter
3 TBS. olive oil
1/3 cup flour
3 cups whole milk
1 log of goat cheese (I believe it’s like 4 ounces)
1/2 cup finely grated Parmesan cheese
2 tsp. fresh thyme
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp. cayenne pepper
salt and pepper to taste
1/3 lb. of thinly sliced prosciutto
3-4 green zucchini, cut into thin slices, length-wise
1 ball fresh mozzarella
DIRECTIONS:
Bring heavily salted water to a boil in a large pot and pre-heat oven to 400 degrees
Cook the lasagna noodles, drain, rinse with cold water, add some olive oil to prevent them from sticking to each other, and set aside
Peel and chop the potatoes, and place the slices in a bowl of cold, salted water (this prevents discoloring)
Potatoes are one of the ultimate comfort foods, no matter how you cook them – french fries, mashed potatoes, baked potatoes, scalloped potatoes, home fries, boiled-buttered potatoes… roast potatoes… and now I sound like Bubba from Forest Gump talking about shrimp….
Slice the zucchini and set aside
Next, you will make the bechamel sauce. Heat the butter and a couple tablespoons of olive oil in a large saucepan/wok over low heat
Add in the minced onions, stirring occasionally until onions are translucent and yellow (about 5 min)
Add in the minced garlic and cook another two minutes
Add in the flour and stir to create a roux (this is the base for your sauce, and the step that makes it thicken while remaining clump-free)
Next, add in the milk, and continue to stir constantly using a wooden spoon, or whisk
The liquid should thicken rather quickly
A nice, thick bechamel in the making
Now, add in the goat cheese, continuing to stir until fully melted and incorporated
Add in the salt, pepper, cayenne pepper, nutmeg, and some fresh thyme
Taste test, and add more seasonings if necessary…. remove from heat.
chop the ball of mozzarella or peel apart into thin slices
Now for the fun part – it’s time to assemble the lasagna!
Butter the casserole dish so nothing sticks. Put down a layer of lasagna noodles first, followed by a layer of zucchini, the bechamel sauce, a layer of potatoes, cheese (a mix of mozzarella and Parmesan) and a layer of prosciuttoRepeat these layers until the pan is full. You should have two layers of everything (lasagna noods, zucchini, sauce, potatoes, cheese, prosciuttoTo finish, add another sporadically placed layer of potatoes and cheese and sauce – garnish with the rest of the chopped thyme
Once the lasagna is assembled, place it into the oven and bake at 400 for 50 minutes to an hour… the cheese should be browning on top and the sauce bubbling around the edges of the dish when you turn the oven off.
This smelled like heaven and tasted even better… this is what you want to eat on a cold, rainy night, or a Friday spent at home watching movies with a glass of wine
Let the dish cool for at LEAST 10 minutes, before cutting and serving
Eggplant parm – something I truly love to eat and cook any time of the year
Things I don’t love:
Most things
Most people
Myself…JK (…but not really kidding)
Things I DO love:
3$%#$%
Platform Heels
Wine
Hot tubs
Wine IN hot tubs
crop-tops
Fireplaces
Faux fur jackets
Snow, but only when it’s clean and white
Steak Tartare (I’m a heathen)
Eggplant Parm
Truffle (of the fungi variety, not the chocolate)
Malls…
Ah yes, the good ol’ American mall – a timeless institution! All of the stores a girl could ask for under one roof (listen – even if you’re extra fancy, there are malls with Chanel…); the smells of Auntie Anne’s Pretzels mixing with Yankee Candle, Bath & Body Works, the fragrance counter of Macy’s and the food court lulling you into a false sense that everything in the world is good and peaceful.
I have a sick obsession with malls – I think it’s because I grew up going to the mall every weekend with my mom, and now the mall is basically the one place left that makes me feel a sort of comforting wash of nostalgia when I set foot in one – it’s like stepping back to the safety and pleasantry of childhood. They’re always the same – which is what I really like the most I think. Regardless of whether they’re high-end or middle-brow, you always know what you’re getting. There will be a food court, several chain restaurants, an H&M, Journey’s shoes, Sephora, Abercrombie, and two big department stores. These days, a trip to the mall is a rare treat, since I live in NYC and do most of my shopping on line, or in person in brick-and-mortar stores around the city. I usually don’t even end up buying anything in the mall to be honest, but I like walking around sniffing candles, reminiscing about my college stint piercing ears at Claire’s, and of course, doing a walk-through of Hollister. How could I not?! I worked for Hollister for almost four years, so I like to walk through the store to relive my best memories while taking in the scent of SoCal…. it was the best of times, it was the worst of times. What can I say? Can’t go wrong with a pair of $25 boyfriend jeans…
Anyhow, sometimes it’s really nice to drive out of NYC and go spend a couple of hours at a mall upstate, or in Long Island or New Jersey just to GTFO of the rat race that is life in NYC. Escaping to a mall for a couple of hours is like stepping back to a time when life was simple, and all I cared about was weather my mom would by me that $60 sweater from Abercrombie or sparkly skirt from Limited Too. There is also something to be said for the comfort of chain restaurants. Living in NYC you have the best of the best and all of the variety in the world, but sometimes it’s just as satisfying to get Ruby Tuesday’s, or my new favorite: Zin Burger.
Anyhow… apart from malls, &$%28!, and cheese, one of my other favorite things is eggplant parmigiana. If I go to an Italian restaurant and eggplant parm is on the menu, you can be almost 98% certain that that is what I will be ordering. One of my very favorite eggplant parms in the city, is the one served at Fiat Cafe. If you’ve never been to Fiat Cafe in Nolita, you should go. It’s on Mott Street between Spring Street and Kenmare. The prices are really affordable, the food is amazing, the servers are always friendly, and its cozy. It’s not fine dining by any means, but for a cozy date night, or intimate dinner with a couple of friends or small family, it’s perfect. They also do brunch and lunch, though I’ve never been before 4pm.
Everything on the menu is fantastic. Their meatballs are honestly some of my favorite in the city, apart from D.O.C. Wine Bar, in Williamsburg. Honestly, my boyfriend and think the meatballs served at Fiat Cafe are not made in house and in fact, we believe they’re of the frozen, store-bought variety. I am not 100% certain, so don’t quote me on this – but they taste store bought, but like in the most delicious, fucking way you can dream of. It helps that the marinara they have is perfect.
Apart from the eggplant parm, which is a substantial size and dripping in hot mozzarella and Parmesan cheese, the layers of eggplant are super thin, and fried and then baked to perfection – it melts in your mouth. It is absolutely perfect, and I’m salivating just thinking of it. The hairs on my arms are standing straight up, because that shit is SO GOOD, it gives me goosebumps, the same way a good song or good cocktail would.
If I had to pick my favorite eggplant parm upstate, I’d say the Spot restaurant/diner in Binghamton has pretty excellent eggplant parm… or at least they used to… I haven’t been in like 10 years.
Ever since having Fiat Cafe eggplant parm about 6 years ago, I’ve been trying to recreate it when ever I make my own eggplant parm – and this weekend, I’d say I can pretty damn close.
A cross-section of my masterpiece
The key, I’ve learned through trial and error, is to NOT use any bread crumbs at all, and to use substantial amount of oil when frying (deep-fry style) The eggplant is first dipped in beaten egg, and then instead of going into breadcrumbs, it just goes into a mixture of flour (Parmesan cheese, salt, pepper, and garlic powder) before going into the hot oil.
The marinara sauce is also important – if you’re not making your own, you’ll want to splurge on a good jar of sauce (Rao’s, Meatball Shop, or Victoria brands are all really good quality when going with store bought). You don’t want a sauce that is too sweet (which many brands are – I’m looking at you Classico and Newman’s Own…), or chunky.
It’s also important to cut the eggplant length-wise (long ways, instead of horizontally into rounds), and fairly thin (although, not TOO thin, otherwise you’ll be frying all night… and this is already a time consuming dish to make).
Layer’s upon layers of fried eggplant, marinara, and mozzarella and Parmesan cheese… this is right before topping with the final layer of sauce and cheese and going into the oven!
INGREDIENTS:
Two medium-sized eggplant, or one really large eggplant
3-4 eggs, well beaten in a bowl
3 cups of bleached baking flour
2 cups of finely grated Parmigiano-Reggiano (aka Paremsan cheese)
Salt and pepper to taste
1 Tbs. granulated garlic or garlic powder
Finely chopped fresh basil
1 cup olive oil or vegetable oil, or a combination of the two
1 ball (8 oz.) fresh mozzarella, or 1 bag pre-shredded mozzarella
Homemade marinara or large jar (or two smaller jars) quality marinara sauce (feel free to spice it up with arrabiata sauce or any other variety within reason)
DIRECTIONS:
Wash and dry your eggplant(s) ans slice vertically (length-wise) into thin slices (1/4 an inch or 2cm, maybe? I don’t have a ruler on me…sorry)
Beat 3-4 eggs in a shallow bowl; beat well enough that you can’t differentiate between yoke and egg white – should be consistent
In a separate, shallow bowl or container, mix together the flour, 1 cup of finely grated Parmesan, 1 TBS. granulated garlic, and salt and pepper to taste (be generous)
Heat the oven to 375 degrees fahrenheit and set aside a shallow casserole dish or baking pan
Cover the bottom or a frying pan/large sauce pan with enough oil that the bottom is actually totally covered (this will be a lot… I didn’t say this was a healthy dish 😉 ) and turn to a medium-low heat
Next, you’ll dip the slices of eggplant one by one, first into the egg wash, and then lightly coat in flour
cook over medium-low heat about 1 minute on each side: the flour should brown ever so slightly – just a nice golden color
Be careful NOT TO BURN or get the oil too hot, otherwise everything in your house/kitchen/hair/clothes will smell like a deep-fryer (Believe me, I’ve been there…. makes for a terrible headache)
It’s a process you must finesse, cooking, turning, battering at the same time – obviously you cannot fit all of the eggplant slices in the pan at one time, so you’ll have to get the rhythm right (don’t worry… it takes time. Practice makes perfect)
You’ll want to either set the finished pieces of fried eggplant directly into the baking pan, if you have a good system down between frying, turning, and creating the layers within the pan, or, if you are not that skilled yet, just set aside all of the finished fried eggplant and then you will build the layers when you’re done!!!
After you have a layer of fried eggplant that covers the baking dish, you’ll top with an even mix of mozzarella slices and grated Parmesan, followed by a light layer of sauce
Once your sauce jar is half empty (if you’re using jarred sauce), add some water (enough to almost fill the jar again), and shake vigorously – most marinara out of the jar will be too thick by itself to create a moist and juicy eggplant parm – so adding water is a necessary step!
Keep layering until you’ve used up all of your fried eggplant layers (in my experience, you’ll end up with 3-4 layers of eggplant and subsequent toppings, depending on how thin you’ve sliced your eggplant)
Add a final topping-layer of marinara, cheese, and sprinkle with the chopped parsley and put into the oven
Bake for about 25-30 minutes until cheese has melted and is browning ever so slightly
Out of the oven and left to cool for about 15 minutes – ready to serve!
Once the eggplant comes out of the oven, let it cool/sit on the counter for about 15 minutes – otherwise it will be too sloppy to serve
This is one of those dishes that almost tastes even better in the following days, so enjoy your leftovers… you should have plenty – unless you’re cooking for a family of four or more!
Enjoy 😀
Oh, also, in other news – despite what negative things my family has to say, I can’t fucking wait for my kitten (Lord Simon Pier Tuna) to arrive. Mr. Peeper has been so hard up for a friend that he now waits by the door when he knows our neighbor across the hall is taking her dog out. He sits by our door and meows until we let him into the hall so he can go sniff and greet Quincy (the neighbor’s little dog)… that’s how much he wants a friend/brother. I pray he gets along with/likes another cat for a friend as much as he likes the neighbor’s dog. My poor boy.
OH . MY . GOD…
In other, other news – while I just had my back turned typing the above paragraph, I heard Peeper (speak of the Devil) licking something on the counter behind me, and turned around to find him licking olive oil out of the sauce pan I just readied to make Bolognese sauce… AWESOME. He’s probably going to shit his brains out now. Fabulous.
Dude, it is SO F*CKING COLD…. and I am one of the few people who actually LIKES COLD!!!! It is not as cold in NYC as it is in the Mid-West right now, so I really shouldn’t be complaining. I also have a roof over my head, warm clothes, and food and wine to keep me warm and fed, so I should consider myself fortunate. I do wish I had a fireplace though, and maybe the option to call out of work tomorrow. Also, I wish I had a hot tub, some Manitobah Mukluks, and a snow suit, but I digress (next year, Santa…… 😉 )
I can’t stop dwelling on feral cats and stray dogs right now. I don’t think there are really that many stray dogs in NYC (it’s not Greece after all…), but there are probably scumbags who tie their dogs outside… I hope no one is heartless or ignorant enough to do that in this weather. I hope that all of the poor cats living on the streets were able to find some sort of shelter or slightly warmer place to hide out until this cold passes through – it’s devastatingly brutal. I have more empathy towards animals than I do humans, and I always will. A human can at least ask for help if they need it, and even homeless people have resources available when the weather is this brutal. Animals can’t ask for help or just walk into a shelter for the night. I just wish I could save all the homeless cats and dogs from life on the streets. I used to do my part by fostering cats, but that didn’t work out so well after about a year with two ferals who hid under my bed and had diarrhea issues non-stop. And all of this was DESPITE me starving to death on my lowly server’s salary while spending all my hard earned cash on the most expensive cat food available… good times.
The cold would be so much more tolerable if it were also snowing right now. We had about five minutes of snow this afternoon and that was that. It’s the only snow NYC has gotten all winter, and next week the temperature is back up into the 50s. Will we ever get snow this year? At least I’m guaranteed to have some snow when I’m at my parent’s house this weekend. Why am I writing about weather? Because I’m a loser baby.
The only upside of the cold, or going out-on-the-town in the cold, is wearing my pimp furs… I have one in almost every color now… perfect for warehouse parties and after hours 😉
I made a delicious bean chili last night, but it didn’t photograph well and is frankly a bit boring to write about. Not much of creative / hands-on process goes into making chili. I did, however, make a delicious chicken cordon bleu this past Sunday night. Although that also photographed rather unfortunately. It tasted amazing though (yes, I had to go “sometimes-etarian” and at least try it…).
Not the comeliest plating, but it was moist, flavorful, and all around delicious. Served with baked potatoes and Brussels
INGREDIENTS (** recipe below will make 4 servings):
1 1/2 – 2 lbs. of boneless, skinless chicken breast (organic, free-range, antibiotic and hormone free… some Gwyneth Paltrow approved shit… preferably raised and killed by your own hand)
2 cups Panko bread crumbs
1 cup shredded gruyere cheese
4 pieces of thinly sliced prosciutto (cooked, thinly sliced ham will substitute if your local grocery doesn’t carry proscuitto)
1 cup flour (for rolling chicken in)
2 well-beaten eggs
Salt, pepper, granulated garlic to taste
Olive oil (to coat baking pan and also drizzle over chicken)
Plastic wrap
DIRECTIONS:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees
Set up your breading station: flour seasoned with salt and pepper (in a bowl), beaten eggs (in a bowl), and panko bread crumbs seasoned with granulated garlic, salt and pepper (also in a bowl)
This is the “breading station”: chicken rolls will first be rolled in flour, then egg, then the panko breadcrumbs before going into the baking pan (coated with olive oil) – season the flour and the panko bread crumbs with salt, pepper, and granulated garlic for maximum flavor
Place chicken in between two sheets of plastic wrap, one on the bottom and one on top, beat the chicken gently (LOL) with a meat hammer or a rolling pin
The pounded chicken… LOL “pounded”….
Next, you’re going to “fill” the chicken before rolling it up… place the prosciutto down first (one sheet per chicken cutlet) followed by the shredded gruyere
This is before the gruyere went on top!
After the “prosciutto” (why do I hear Giada De Laurentiis voice saying this?) and gruyere are placed on the chicken, it is time to roll them up! Start on one end and roll it up like you would a piece of paper or sleeping bag… it should be rolled pretty tightly
Tightly wrap each finished roll in plastic wrap to help keep the shape and place in the fridge for 15 minutes
These are the pre-breaded chicken rolls, about to go into the fridge before taking a dip in the egg/breading
After you take the rolls out of the fridge, unwrap and bread one by one, placing the finished product into your baking pan (flour first, than into the egg, than rolled in the panko crumbs)
Drizzle the tops of the rolls with olive oil (this will help the breadcrumbs brown up nicely – you can also use little slices of butter on top in place of oil)
These are the stuffed and breaded chicken rolls, about to go into the oven
Bake for 30 minutes at 350 (since the chicken is pounded pretty thin, you shouldn’t need to bake much longer… maybe 35 minutes depending on how browned the breadcrumbs are looking)
To serve, cut the roll into slices so you can see that nice cross-section/swirl of ham and melted cheese; serve with a veggie or salad on the side!
I probably won’t be doing much cooking this weekend since I’m going to my parent’s to dog-sit/cat-sit the family pets. I will be doing some “meal prep” (ew…) tomorrow and Friday though, so that the fridge is full while I am away – otherwise a certain someone will eat pizza, burgers, and not a single goddamn vegetable all weekend.
I mean, who doesn’t love pizza? I almost finished off a whole one last Saturday… my new favorite pizza is from a place down the street called Chiara’s… so good
I’ll probably try to be somewhat healthy this weekend while I am at my parent’s house since my bday is fast approaching, and I will want to dress in some scandalous outfit if I go out to celebrate.
I’m sure the fridge at my parent’s house is already chock-full of my favorite foods waiting for me to devour them – that’s how they do, loading up the fridge and cupboards with my favorite things before I come home. I’ll end up sabotaging myself with a brick of pepper jack cheese from Pine Ridge and lobster mac and cheese from Wegman’s.
I was home ‘alone’ last week, and alternated between eating healthy and abstaining from wine on the nights I was actually all alone, to cooking gnocchi in cheese sauce or frying eggplant Parmesan and guzzling down the nectar of the gods in copious quantities on the nights I was with friends. There really is no in between for me…. abstinence or gluttony, all or nothing, feast or famine… give me life or give me death!
The random and “healthy” sh*t I eat when I’m alone and have no one to cook for ^ – I alternate between salads, blocks of tofu, homemade veggie soup, or weird shit I concoct using whatever I find in the cupboards. It brings me back to the days of almost starving to death while working as a waitress and having no money…good times. And yes, I take my meals in the bath tub sometimes….
Regarding my previous post on learning the art of driving stick-shift, I failed miserably at my mission and will be requiring a lot more practice. I thought I could handle jostling my boyfriend’s car around the local streets all week in accordance with NYC street-cleaning/parking regulations. However, I failed to even work up enough ballz to attempt to move the car, and had to enlist the help of my brother-in-law to move it into the parking garage. I thought I could handle it, but freaked out when I thought about accidentally flooring it with the clutch and gas, and hitting a car parked to the front or back, or stalling out in the middle of the street or intersection. I guess learning to master stick will be another goal for me in 2019.
We finally got some winter weather in NYC, although not the snow that was predicted earlier in the week – just bitter temperatures. My family (upstate) got around 18″ of the snow over the course of Saturday and Sunday. Naturally, after setting my sites on a weekend filled with glorious walks in the snow and an opportunity to camp out at home, the carpet was ripped out from under me, and temperatures were in the 40s. The weather channel predicted significant snowfall in NYC up until Friday, when the forecast suddenly called for rain. It rained all night on Saturday, and then by late Sunday night, temperatures plummeted to single-degrees.
I almost lost my favorite hat (pictured above ^^^) on Monday, when I had way too much fun at a friend’s birthday brunch party… (i.e. way too much to drink) and walked out into the 6 degree night without my hat to get into the Uber. Thankfully the restaurant had my hat when I called the next day… a true miracle. Only I would lose my warmest and most valuable hat on the coldest night of the year…. I am a mess. I guess this was karma for the fact that another friend and I accidentally took someone else’s hat by mistake on our Saturday night escapades… oopsie 😉
CACIO E PEPE
After my boyfriend finally returned home from Italy, I decided to make a nice pasta dish to celebrate: cacio e pepe. A classic Roman staple, this is a simple dish, using only a few ingredients, but perfect comfort food and maximum taste for a winter day.
INGREDIENTS:
1 box thick spaghetti (or bucatini, or linguini… whatever floats your boat)
Salt (to season boiling pasta water)
2 tsp freshly ground black Pepper
4 Tbs. Butter
4 Tbs. olive oil
1/2 cup freshly grated Pecorino Romano (more if desired)
1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan (more if desired)
DIRECTIONS:
Heat large pot of well-salted water over high heat (bring to a boil); in the meantime;
Melt butter over low heat, in a LARGE saucepan
Add freshly ground black pepper to butter, and continue to cook over lowest possible heat…. do not burn the butter!
Once water is at a heavy boil, add in pasta and cook until al dente (pasta box should provide cook times for al dente and fully done)
Stir pasta occasionally to prevent it from clumping together,
Once pasta is al dente, turn off heat, and using a measuring cup or ladle, spoon about 1/3 cup of pasta water from pot and add into the saucepan with the butter and pepper
Set aside additional pasta water – you may need a bit more later…
Drain the pasta and add the drained pasta into the pan with the sauce continuing to cook over low heat and stirring continuously
Add in (or if you’re like me, grate in directly) the cheese…. it is important the cheese is distributed evenly or it will also clump
Keep stirring and cooking over low heat, until moisture is absorbed by pasta and cheese integrates into sauce
Stir in olive oil, add more cheese or water as necessary… the sauce should be rich and fairly thick but still viscous
I am really happy right now because I found a pair of my favorite Hollister boyfriend-style, super-low rise jeans, in mint condition for only $10. This is the only thing “giving me life” (as the kids nowadays like to say…) on a Monday evening. What a fucking steal!
The High Heeled C*ntessa 