I can finally wear what I want “to work,” but I never realized how fucking bored I’d be working from home. Holy shit. I guess I am a type A in a lot of ways (***mostly not… honestly, I hate type A people… they’re boring and annoying). But, I guess I thrive on routine (at least during week days). I am only on day two (2) of working from home/”quarantine” and I am already going crazy from not leaving my apartment. If I can’t take my daily walks, I don’t know how I will survive. I am trying to do floor exercises and refrain from eating, if not hungry, but I’m ALWAYS hungry, since I’m fucking bored. I always imagined it would be awesome working from home, but I guess not under these circumstances.
This was me on day one of quarantine (aka, yesterday). I woke up and had time to ACTUALLY take care of myself. For once in my life, I had time to do a face mask… in the MORNING. I was still so full of hope…. I had the whole world ahead of me. I woke up at a decent hour and did a face mask and some push ups. And now? I’ve realized we are fucked. We’re not going back to what we had.
I’m scared of job security. I’m scared of my parents or my boyfriend’s parent’s getting sick… I’m not scared for myself. I can take anything. I probably actually honestly already had the virus. I just don’t want my family to be sick, and I don’t want to lose my job as a result of the market crashing. My boyfriend works in hospitality, so sadly, he is currently unemployed since all restaurants, clubs and bars were mandated to close. I just don’t want it to get worse…. how much worse can it actually get though? I just imagine food shortages, riots in the street, and people being turned away from already-full hospitals would be worst-case scenario.
I mean, I survived the great recession… I feel pretty confident I can live on a bag of rice or some lentils for 4 months and be fine. I just worry about our future. The future of us. My generation has been so so so fucked over, and the generations below me, even more so. Humanity made this mess though – between over-population, mass agriculture, factory farming, all of the shit we have done that contributed to global warming, and now eating endangered, wild animals which has led to this pandemic (“allegedly”… I believe this virus was manufactured in and released from a lab)… we brought this on ourselves.
I don’t know – I guess be careful what you wish for. I’ve been wishing for more time off with my boyfriend since we have one day a week (at best) and totally opposite sleep and work schedules. Well kids, we finally have some time off together – locked inside our one-bedroom Brooklyn apartment with no where to go, nothing to do, and even if we could go out, nothing is open. It fucking sucks. But I am thankful that we’re healthy, our families are healthy, are friends are healthy, and I still have a job (for now).
Switching over to food (I’m sure we’ve all been bombarded with enough news about corona to last three lifetimes now…), I made this delicious eggplant parm on Sunday. The key to good eggplant parm is breading with flour instead of breadcrumbs. I don’t have the ambition to write Any recipes right now, since I don’t really care about food right now. Just kidding – I always care about food. It is the only thing that drives me and inspires me in these dark times. And also tortures me when I am trying not to eat to much of it as I am trapped inside and sedentary….
I also made this focaccia the other day (Saturday, when I still felt sick). Food is the only thing that is constant. Food is important regardless of what is happening. It is what unites us, feeds us, comforts us, or, in my case, makes us suicidal when we’re trapped inside and can’t stop eating it. And soon, we may not have enough of it to go ’round. #cheers
Here – my cats. They’re cute, right? I know. It’s the only thing cute and welcoming I have going for me. Hopefully they can add some joy to your day as well. Shameless shout out if you need some cute cats in your life: instagram.com/peepsandtuna.
Well kids – I have nothing else to say. I’m just hanging on here… taking shit day-by-day. I hope everyone reading is doing the same – staying safe and healthy, and trying their best to also stay mentally and emotionally healthy in these trying times.
The High Heeled C*ntessa 