Triggered: A Political Rant & I saw Korn and Alice in Chains

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Here’s a picture of the lovely cheese pizza I ate on Sunday, before I launch into a tirade about the state of this nation and you wonder why you’re ready this “food” blog
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Here is a picture of my Sunday evening vino at Huckleberry Bar, where I relaxed for a couple of hours before the real world kicked my ass on Monday morning.  You’ll probably need some vino yourself after readying this blog…. 

#TRIGGERED   Usually I HATE when people say they’re “triggered,” but tonight, it’s the only way to describe how I am feeling based on everything that’s going on in this world and out of my control.

It’s 11:05pm on a Wednesday night in August, 2019, and I am already worrying about the outcome of the 2020 presidential election.  If Trump wins a second term, I am seriously convinced the entire government is rigged by the 1% (I mean, we already know it is, but…still….). I cannot continue to live in this nation as an American citizen, a nation that has become a disgrace among all of the other developed nations since November 2016.  My cat’s a$$hole would be a better president than Trump at this point in time. Furthermore, Lord knows, that in the year 2020, America is still not progressive enough (and certainly MUCH less progressive than we were even 10 years ago) to elect a woman as president of the United States.  At this point in time, I’m strongly Bernie or bust.  This country needs tax reform, gun reform, free health care, and better/free education for the masses.  We need someone who will lift of us up out of this dark spiral into which we’ve been dragged down for the last several years.

The whole Jeffrey Epstein scandal has made me sick to my stomach and furious since he was re-arrested back in July, and even more so since he “killed himself” last weekend.  I’ve been following this scandal since the first time he was convicted back in 2008.   I usually don’t believe in conspiracies, but I am quite certain that Epstein must have had the dirtiest of the dirt on a ring of high-profile pedophiles running our own government as well as others (hello Prince Andrew and Mohhamed Bin Salman… looking at you).  Dude was clearly murdered before he could spill the beans and create more issues within our government.  The government is the reason he got such a light sentence back in 2008 in the first place (Alexander Acosta…. all of the high-profile, government pedos involved back then).

I’m also sickened by the treatment of refugees and those seeking asylum or a better life for themselves and their families in this nation.  It’s a damn shame that in the year 2020, in America, our government is tearing innocent families apart, jailing both children and parents in deplorable conditions.

The government corruption, together with the ever increasing threat of destruction of environment and wildlife due to humanity has really brought me to a breaking point tonight.  My boyfriend just got home from work and told me he thinks Donald Trump will win a second term and it’s lit a fire I haven’t felt in months.   I am not being far-fetched when I say that I will have to pull a Hunter S. Thompson in the event that Trump is re-elected.  Either that, or I will have to move to Venice and live with my boyfriend’s parents, with or without him.  I can’t stay in this country that’s falling apart at the seams if there is no hope for the future.

I already assume we’ll all be dead, or at least in the midst of societal collapse, in the next 10-15 years given the impact of global warming, extreme weather, crop failure, destruction of top soil, plastic pollution, mass migration due to all of these factors, water shortages, etc..  I can’t just stay here as an American citizen and watch what used to be one of the greatest nations in the world with the most civil liberties slowly be ground into complete destruction beyond redemption by greedy corporations, corrupt government, and absolute ignorance and neglect in terms of saving what we have left of the natural world.  Instead, we have been turned against each other, the country has once again become rife with racism and sexism due to our esteemed leader and anti-right propaganda, we have to fear being shot as we go about our daily lives, not by ISIS, but by home-grown, white, domestic terrorist psychopaths…. this is no way to live.

Meanwhile, people keep eating factory-farm raised beef and processed chicken nuggets, throwing around plastic, and spraying chemicals on their lawns, with their phone in their hand 24/7, more concerned about the latest episode of the Kardashians, or with some celebrity’s tweet, than about taking what small steps they can to help save the Earth before it’s too late.  I am not perfect, FAR from it.  But at least I am AWARE and I am TRYING to help in whatever small way I can.  I saw some 10 year old girl throw a plastic bottle on the sidewalk yesterday and I almost lost my shit on her, but I knew her mom would have words with me/kick my ass if I reprimanded her child.  THIS is the world we live in… this is why people pollute and this is why people don’t give a fuck… they aren’t taught to care.

Anyhow…. before I self implode, let me pour myself a glass of wine to take some of the edge off and focus on something pleasant.  Like food.  Also, music.

I went to see Korn and Alice in Chains last Wednesday and they were everything I hoped for and then some.  Both bands honestly surpassed my expectations and Jonathan Davis of Korn was much hotter than I expected.  Oh, and somehow we were front and center!!!!!  Not sure how that happened…. but it was fucking awesome:

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Jerry Cantrell… up close and personal…. I can die happy now. 
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William DuVall – current lead singer of Alice in Chains.  Alice in Chains is one of my favorite bands and they sounded as good live as they do recorded… I am so happy we made the trek to Jones Beach for this concert
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Jonathan Davis in a kilt… that’s hot.  Also, this security dude is legit in every picture and video I took since I was in front of the stage… LOL. 

I’d have to say, apart from the perfect concert (and this one actually was PERFECT – right up there with NIN and Soundgarden in 2014), the other highlight of the day was getting back to NYC at 12:30am and getting empanadas at Empanada Mama on the Lower East Side because we were starving.

HOLY SHIT… if you haven’t been to Empanada Mama, you MUST GO.  Maybe we were starving from walking around all day, slightly drunk, and exhausted.  But damn, those empanadas were delicious and inspired me to try my hand at making my own the next day.  They have this one empanada that is off the hook called the “Viagra”.  It’s stuffed with shrimp and imitation crab and its beyond.  I have to go back to Empanada Mama soon.  The best part?  They’re open 24/7! Despite being open 24/7, it’s pretty nice inside with lots of seating, a full bar, good lighting, and decent decor.

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The Viagra empanadas were so good that when I woke up the next day, I was craving more and attempted to recreate them at home! 

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They turned out pretty good!  Not nearly as good as EM, but good for my first try and for making the dough from scratch.  I kind of want to get a part-time job at Empanada Mama so I can learn their secrets!

Last night, I made a vegetarian “sausage” and mushroom fettuccine dish, that was so good it fooled my boyfriend into thinking it was actually real meat (he had no idea it was a ‘veggie’ sausage).

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I’ll write the recipe for this one tomorrow.  Hopefully I won’t be feeling as triggered then.  LOL.

Eggplant Parm and My Undying Love for Malls

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Eggplant parm – something I truly love to eat and cook any time of the year

Things I don’t love:

  • Most things
  • Most people
  • Myself…JK (…but not really kidding)

Things I DO love:

  •  3$%#$%
  • Platform Heels
  • Wine
  • Hot tubs
  • Wine IN hot tubs
  • crop-tops
  • Fireplaces
  • Faux fur jackets
  • Snow, but only when it’s clean and white
  • Steak Tartare (I’m a heathen)
  • Eggplant Parm
  • Truffle (of the fungi variety, not the chocolate)
  • Malls…

Ah yes, the good ol’ American mall – a timeless institution! All of the stores a girl could ask for under one roof (listen – even if you’re extra fancy, there are malls with Chanel…); the smells of Auntie Anne’s Pretzels mixing with Yankee Candle, Bath & Body Works, the fragrance counter of Macy’s and the food court lulling you into a false sense that everything in the world is good and peaceful.

I have a sick obsession with malls – I think it’s because I grew up going to the mall every weekend with my mom, and now the mall is basically the one place left that makes me feel a sort of comforting wash of nostalgia when I set foot in one – it’s like stepping back to the safety and pleasantry of childhood.   They’re always the same – which is what I really like the most I think.  Regardless of whether they’re high-end or middle-brow,  you always know what you’re getting.  There will be a food court, several chain restaurants, an H&M, Journey’s shoes, Sephora, Abercrombie, and two big department stores.  These days, a trip to the mall is a rare treat, since I live in NYC and do most of my shopping on line, or in person in brick-and-mortar stores around the city.  I usually don’t even end up buying anything in the mall to be honest, but I like walking around sniffing candles, reminiscing about my college stint piercing ears at Claire’s, and of course, doing a walk-through of Hollister.  How could I not?!  I worked for Hollister for almost four years, so I like to walk through the store to relive my best memories while taking in the scent of SoCal…. it was the best of times, it was the worst of times.  What can I say? Can’t go wrong with a pair of $25 boyfriend jeans…

Anyhow, sometimes it’s really nice to drive out of NYC and go spend a couple of hours at a mall upstate, or in Long Island or New Jersey just to GTFO of the rat race that is life in NYC.  Escaping to a mall for a couple of hours is like stepping back to a time when life was simple, and all I cared about was weather my mom would by me that $60 sweater from Abercrombie or sparkly skirt from Limited Too.  There is also something to be said for the comfort of chain restaurants.  Living in NYC you have the best of the best and all of the variety in the world, but sometimes it’s just as satisfying to get Ruby Tuesday’s, or my new favorite: Zin Burger.

Anyhow… apart from malls, &$%28!,  and cheese, one of my other favorite things is eggplant parmigiana.  If I go to an Italian restaurant and eggplant parm is on the menu, you can be almost 98% certain that that is what I will be ordering.  One of my very favorite eggplant parms in the city, is the one served at Fiat Cafe.  If you’ve never been to Fiat Cafe in Nolita, you should go.  It’s on Mott Street between Spring Street and Kenmare.  The prices are really affordable, the food is amazing, the servers are always friendly, and its cozy.  It’s not fine dining by any means, but for a cozy date night, or intimate dinner with a couple of friends or small family, it’s perfect.  They also do brunch and lunch, though I’ve never been before 4pm.

Everything on the menu is fantastic.  Their meatballs are honestly some of my favorite in the city, apart from D.O.C. Wine Bar, in Williamsburg.  Honestly, my boyfriend and think the meatballs served at Fiat Cafe are not made in house and in fact, we believe they’re of the frozen, store-bought variety.  I am not 100% certain, so don’t quote me on this – but they taste store bought, but like in the most delicious, fucking way you can dream of.  It helps that the marinara they have is perfect.

Apart from the eggplant parm, which is a substantial size and dripping in hot mozzarella and Parmesan cheese, the layers of eggplant are super thin, and fried and then baked to perfection – it melts in your mouth.  It is absolutely perfect, and I’m salivating just thinking of it.  The hairs on my arms are standing straight up, because that shit is SO GOOD, it gives me goosebumps, the same way a good song or good cocktail would.

If I had to pick my favorite eggplant parm upstate, I’d say the Spot restaurant/diner in Binghamton has pretty excellent eggplant parm… or at least they used to… I haven’t been in like 10 years.

Ever since having Fiat Cafe eggplant parm about 6 years ago, I’ve been trying to recreate it when ever I make my own eggplant parm – and this weekend, I’d say I can pretty damn close.

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A cross-section of my masterpiece

The key, I’ve learned through trial and error, is to NOT use any bread crumbs at all, and to use substantial amount of oil when frying (deep-fry style)  The eggplant is first dipped in beaten egg, and then instead of going into breadcrumbs, it just goes into a mixture of flour (Parmesan cheese, salt, pepper, and garlic powder) before going into the hot oil.

The marinara sauce is also important – if you’re not making your own, you’ll want to splurge on a good jar of sauce (Rao’s, Meatball Shop, or Victoria brands are all really good quality when going with store bought). You don’t want a sauce that is too sweet (which many brands are – I’m looking at you Classico and Newman’s Own…), or chunky.

It’s also important to cut the eggplant length-wise (long ways, instead of horizontally into rounds), and fairly thin (although, not TOO thin, otherwise you’ll be frying all night… and this is already a time consuming dish to make).

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Layer’s upon layers of fried eggplant, marinara, and mozzarella and Parmesan cheese… this is right before topping with the final layer of sauce and cheese and going into the oven!

INGREDIENTS:

  • Two medium-sized eggplant, or one really large eggplant
  • 3-4 eggs, well beaten in a bowl
  • 3 cups of bleached baking flour
  • 2 cups of finely grated Parmigiano-Reggiano (aka Paremsan cheese)
  • Salt and pepper to taste
  • 1 Tbs. granulated garlic or garlic powder
  • Finely chopped fresh basil
  • 1 cup olive oil or vegetable oil, or a combination of the two
  • 1 ball (8 oz.) fresh mozzarella, or 1 bag pre-shredded mozzarella
  • Homemade marinara or large jar (or two smaller jars) quality marinara sauce (feel free to spice it up with arrabiata sauce or any other variety within reason)

DIRECTIONS:

  • Wash and dry your eggplant(s) ans slice vertically (length-wise) into thin slices (1/4 an inch or 2cm, maybe?  I don’t have a ruler on me…sorry)
  • Beat 3-4 eggs in a shallow bowl; beat well enough that you can’t differentiate between yoke and egg white – should be consistent
  • In a separate, shallow bowl or container, mix together the flour, 1 cup of finely grated Parmesan, 1 TBS. granulated garlic, and salt and pepper to taste (be generous)
  • Heat the oven to 375 degrees fahrenheit and set aside a shallow casserole dish or baking pan
  • Cover the bottom or a frying pan/large sauce pan with enough oil that the bottom is actually totally covered (this will be a lot… I didn’t say this was a healthy dish 😉  ) and turn to a medium-low heat
  • Next, you’ll dip the slices of eggplant one by one, first into the egg wash, and then lightly coat in flour
  • cook over medium-low heat about 1 minute on each side: the flour should brown ever so slightly – just a nice golden color
  • Be careful NOT TO BURN or get the oil too hot, otherwise everything in your house/kitchen/hair/clothes will smell like a deep-fryer (Believe me, I’ve been there…. makes for a terrible headache)
  • It’s a process you must finesse, cooking, turning, battering at the same time – obviously you cannot fit all of the eggplant slices in the pan at one time, so you’ll have to get the rhythm right (don’t worry… it takes time.  Practice makes perfect)
  • You’ll want to either set the finished pieces of fried eggplant directly into the baking pan, if you have a good system down between frying, turning, and creating the layers within the pan, or, if you are not that skilled yet, just set aside all of the finished fried eggplant and then you will build the layers when you’re done!!!
  • After you have a layer of fried eggplant that covers the baking dish, you’ll top with an even mix of mozzarella slices and grated Parmesan, followed by a light layer of sauce
  • Once your sauce jar is half empty (if you’re using jarred sauce), add some water (enough to almost fill the jar again), and shake vigorously – most marinara out of the jar will be too thick by itself to create a moist and juicy eggplant parm – so adding water is a necessary step!
  • Keep layering until you’ve used up all of your fried eggplant layers (in my experience, you’ll end up with 3-4 layers of eggplant and subsequent toppings, depending on how thin you’ve sliced your eggplant)
  • Add a final topping-layer of marinara, cheese, and sprinkle with the chopped parsley and put into the oven
  • Bake for about 25-30 minutes until cheese has melted and is browning ever so slightly
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Out of the oven and left to cool for about 15 minutes – ready to serve!
  • Once the eggplant comes out of the oven, let it cool/sit on the counter for about 15 minutes – otherwise it will be too sloppy to serve
  • This is one of those dishes that almost tastes even better in the following days, so enjoy your leftovers… you should have plenty – unless you’re cooking for a family of four or more!

Enjoy 😀

Oh, also, in other news – despite what negative things my family has to say, I can’t fucking wait for my kitten (Lord Simon Pier Tuna) to arrive.  Mr. Peeper has been so hard up for a friend that he now waits by the door when he knows our neighbor across the hall is taking her dog out.  He sits by our door and meows until we let him into the hall so he can go sniff and greet Quincy (the neighbor’s little dog)… that’s how much he wants a friend/brother.  I pray he gets along with/likes another cat for a friend as much as he likes the neighbor’s dog.  My poor boy.

OH . MY . GOD…

In other, other news – while I just had my back turned typing the above paragraph, I heard Peeper (speak of the Devil) licking something on the counter behind me, and turned around to find him licking olive oil out of the sauce pan I just readied to make Bolognese sauce… AWESOME.  He’s probably going to shit his brains out now. Fabulous.

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My pride and joy