risotto – The High Heeled C*ntessa

Korn and Corn

I love rock concerts – they’re the perfect excuse to dress the way I wish I could dress all day, every day… what can I say? Old habits die hard.

Once again, I haven’t written in a while because I’ve been too caught-up in the daily grind of working to pay bills and maintaining my apartment and cats. I try to go out and party when I have an opportunity to do so, taking advantage of the fact that it’s summer, but then I feel guilty when I spend precious hours of free time recovering from a night out on the town or I end up spending a Saturday doing a weeks-work of cleaning and errands. The life of a working woman is not all it’s cracked up to be, friends.

I was in the midst of writing another installment of Indigo Wren, but I kept getting writer’s block, so I decided to throw in the towel for now.

I haven’t taken any vacation time this summer (not long weekends, not a trip to the beach, neinte, nada, NOTHING!), and therefore I am more excited than any person my age should be to have two days off of work mid-week so I can go to a Korn/Alice in Chains concert in Jones Beach… WTF. That’s what my vacation is this year… a rock concert. SAD.

Is that sad?! I think it might be, but I don’t care. The only other thing I have lined up to look forward to is a week in Maine – the last week of August. I cannot wait to spend a week on the coast, sea kayaking, biking, and drinking cocktails and eating seafood. Based on how fast the rest of this year, and especially this summer, has flown by so far, I know it will be here in the blink of an eye. Even more thrilling than being “on vacation” though, is honestly just being off of work for a whole week. Hell, I’d even take a stay-cation at this point, just to spend time away from work and out of the office. Brutal. Also, getting out of this putrid, summer-stench, dirty, ugly city will also be amazing. The entire city currently smells like expired yogurt, dehydrated, homeless person piss, dog diarrhea and rotting fruit. Fucking foul. I almost threw up one day walking up the subway stairs because I was mildly hungover and a dog (or human… who knows in this neighborhood) had diarrhe-ed ALL OVER the subway stairs.

Sorry… I know that’s gross, but alas, that’s the reality of life in this shitty city. I am SO looking forward to sleeping-in this weekend. I never thought I’d consider sleeping until 8:30am “sleeping in.” LOL. Who have I become?! Sometimes I don’t know or like this person. Then again, sometimes I DO like this person, because at least she is less prone to blacking out and losing her debit card or starting fights.

Sloppy presentation, delicious food… I made lentil “meatballs” Swedish style!

58640076850__7D34DB42-8C51-4B26-9B15-5A1AAEBE923D — Lentil Swedish “meat” balls

So, every time I made my lentil balls, I usually make them in tomato sauce, like I would traditional, Italian meatballs. I had a brilliant idea a few nights ago, to switch it up and prepare them like Swedish meatballs. I went out and bought all of the accoutrements of a typical Scandinavian meal – potatoes, beets, dill, creme fraiche, etc.. When I got home, I had to run the dishwasher because literally every piece of silverware was dirty and every single plate too. I never realized how fucking long the dishwasher takes to do it’s thing! I boiled the lentils, and then thought I could do more prep work and peel the beets, etc., until I realized even my veggie peeler and my cutting board were in the dishwasher. I tried to wait it out, but I was starving to death, especially after a glass of wine, and ended up ordering Thai food. I’ve realized I don’t like Thai food as much as I used to…. the red curry was too coconut milk-y and made me feel hella sick.

I also made some crab cakes this week, which are always a hit in this house, since my boyfriend, myself, and the cats love crab meat. Anything for my cats….

C0FF1E1A-EED5-4F22-8407-9EF5F74D8147 — (^^^ Alexa kept playing emo songs when I was cooking). The secret to moist and delectable crab cakes, is adding a couple of tablespoons of mayo to the mix.

The real showstopper this week though, or technically last weekend now, was the sweet corn risotto and sea scallop situation I made:

IMG_0946 (1)

I made the risotto first (you can modify this recipe by using chicken stock in place of seafood stock, and obviously subbing in sweet corn kernels in place of the shrimp). Yeah… I’m too damn tired to write out a recipe tonight.

I walked 3 miles to Whole Foods and back again in the 93 degree heat to get sea scallops. Despite the fact that there are a couple of closer fish stores, Whole Foods still has the best seafood in the area. I pan seared the scallops in butter (recipe for scallops can be found HERE).

There was a ton of risotto left-over since the scallops were the main feature of this meal. I love to cook enough food that I have leftovers for a couple of days…. even though cooking brings me a lot of joy and it’s something I enjoy doing every day, it’s comforting to know there is prepared food in the fridge in case I get stuck working late.

What else have I been up to lately? Not much…. klutz-ing around as usual. I decided to do a fake tan (St. Tropez), as I was sick of seeing how lovely everyone else looked all bronzed and golden and sunkissed. Needless to say, the same thing that happens every time I fake tan happened again – I looked like I was radioactive and/or sprayed with agent orange. I don’t know why I always convince myself that maybe ‘this time will be different than the last’ when I decide I don’t want to be pale anymore.

Agent orange color – bruises from dancing on tiled flooring.

58561958884__36921EC5-2BC7-4FDB-9EC4-382C76AD6365 — Allergic reaction to some mosquito bites I got at Knockdown Center basement…. looks like cigarette burns

IMG_0949 (1) — And finally, back to my natural skin color, after the tan wore off… but the two week old bruises still persist.

I live such a charmed life.

Tuna and me, sporting devil horns… just two peas in a pod!

B87E4F98-4AA3-4D21-ACBB-DA24AB3F65EA — When your kitten has been watching Fox News again

The Real McCoy – Shrimp Risotto

I was a bit tired and in a rather foul mood when I wrote yesterday’s blog – I’m still in a foul mood (when am I not?), but I’m feeling slightly better about life today. Having a glass of vino and preparing to make the chicken piccata that I intended to make yesterday…

beavis

If you’ve never seen the clip from ‘Beavis and Butthead Do America’ where Beavis goes insane on an airplane and screams “piccata for my bung-hole,” please do both of us a favor and go watch it now.

I felt ugly all day today in my button up shirt and slacks (typical) so I came home and put on the tightest black dress I own and proceeded to pour a glass of wine for some inspiration before I commence on the meal I’m about to make. I don’t feel like myself when I’m at work wearing a shirt buttoned up to my thyroid.

Currently in my natural state – all black everything, covered in cat fur, hair up with fly-aways, drinking wine…

Anyhow, here is the recipe for my shrimp risotto… I recommend making this dish if you really want to blow someone’s taste buds. My boyfriend is from Venice and said it’s the best risotto he’s ever had – better than any restaurant. That’s like the best compliment someone could give me other than telling me they like my writing or art work.

So fucking good… you won’t be able to resist or to stop… I know I sure couldn’t.

INGREDIENTS:

1 lb. of raw shrimp (frozen or fresh – as long as they haven’t been cooked yet!)
1 box (32 oz.) of seafood stock
2 cups of uncooked Arborio rice
1 1/2 cup of white wine (any will do as long as it’s not too sweet)
5 cloves of garlic, finely minced
a few sprigs of fresh thyme, finely chopped
1 cup finely grated Parmesan cheese
1/3 cup half and half (light cream)
4 Tbs. butter
3 Tbs. olive oil
1/2 tsp of ground nutmeg
1 tsp of granulated onion or onion powder
1 bay leaf (dried or fresh)
1 tsp dried basil
1 tsp dried oregano
salt and pepper to taste
fresh parsley to garnish

DIRECTIONS:

92053411-5214-4E5C-9032-3DF183CE035B (1)

If the shrimp are frozen, thaw them under warm, running water in a strainer
Whether or not shrimp are fresh or frozen, peel them and then cut them into halves or thirds depending on size, and set aside in a bowl

IMG_7363 (1)

In a large wok or deep saucepan, heat the olive oil over low heat and add in the minced garlic
Cook garlic over very low heat (being careful not to burn it) for about 1-2 minutes
Add in the rice (yes – the secret to good risotto is slightly cooking the dry rice in the olive oil for a couple of minutes without liquid… I don’t know why, but it adds a depth of flavor)
Continue to stir and cook the rice over a low heat until it’s completely covered in the oil and begins to become ever-so-translucent in color
Raise the heat to medium and add in the white wine (I like to turn up the heat of the burner before adding the wine so that it makes that nice ‘SSSSSsssssss!!!’ sound when it his the hot pan)
Risotto is a dish that has to be stirred pretty much continuously – you can’t really step away from more than 30 seconds, so START STIRRING BIOTCH… and don’t stop!
As the liquid is absorbed by the rice, add in roughly 1 cup of seafood stock at a time, and keep gently stirring until it’s been absorbed
After you’ve added the first cup of seafood and the rice is moist, add in the bay leaf, chopped thyme, and other seasonings (onion powder, basil, oregano, nutmeg, salt and pepper)

Keep adding cup after cup of stock, until you’ve used up the entire contents of the box of stock… by this point, rice should be pretty tender, but neither dry nor too saturated in liquid
Add in the half and half (or cream) and continue to stir
Stir in the grated Parmesan cheese
Add in the raw shrimp and gently stir
Continue cooking over low heat, until shrimp turn orange (this means they’re cooked through!)
Add in the butter and turn off the heat… stir until butter is melted and incorporated thoroughly
Add more salt/pepper to desired taste (if necessary)
Remove the bay leaf, and serve on a plate – garnish with fresh parsley and voila!

OK – I’m going to make chicken PICCATA PICCATA! now (hopefully you’ve watched the Beavis clip so you get it). Chicken piccata will be in my next post …. hopefully it doesn’t take me two weeks to write :p

PS… Tuna comes home next week:

2EF05C48-90F4-4FA7-B5F3-52D4A85D0492 — I really hope a second cat is good for Peeps and keeps him company and they end up loving and playing with each other…. knowing my luck, Peeper will become psychotic and piss all over the house or try to attack the kitten. In this case, I don’t know what I will do.

The World is on Fire and I’m Focused on Risotto

I haven’t written a blog in a couple of weeks because I’m feeling lazy and uninspired, yet also simultaneously busy (working, maintaining the household, maintaining a very high-maintenance cat, watching my niece and nephew after work here and there, basically maintaining everything but myself it seems…), and I’ve also been trying to take advantage of the warmer weather by walking more. The increased exercise doesn’t seem to helping my body much, unless I’m gaining serious muscle and am too blind to see it because I have body dysmorphia… but I’m pretty sure the scale doesn’t lie.

Can you tell I’m in a bad mood? Because I really am.

I feel like I only work and live to pay bills sometimes (all the time, actually), and only eat healthy and work out for my body to stay exactly the same and fluctuate wildly depending on that time of the month. Have I mentioned how awful it has been since going off birth control? I mean, we’re in the midst of the 6th mass extinction of flora and fauna and it’s caused entirely by humans, Notre Dame Cathedral burned down on Monday, there are starving children in Yemen, abused and abandoned animals wandering the streets, and dead whales washing up everywhere with plastic bags in their stomachs, but yeah…. I am still bitter about my insurance not covering Natazia (on top of all of the aforementioned issues… the Natazia is just the straw breaking this camel’s back, so to speak).

Like who the fuck gains weight when they go OFF birth control? Don’t most people gain when they go on it? Also, who knew that in addition to PMS bloating, you can also bloat during ovulation… so basically, I only look skinny about 3 days of the month now – and that’s the week my skin flares up with hormonal acne. I never really feel good about myself 100 percent anymore. I’m either bloated or broken out and both make me feel self-conscious and not like myself. By the time my cystic zits go back down, and are just red, flaky marks on my face, a whole month has gone by and then the cysts come right back again along with some added water retention.

It’s OK though… we’re all going to be dead someday, and probably sooner than later at the rate of global warming, pollution, and general discord among the nations…. so why should worry about my thigh gap and a couple of zits on my chin? I’ll tell you why – because it takes away from my worry about microplastics infiltrating the food chain and never being able to afford to have children thanks to astronomical rent prices and student loans… that’s why. I need to focus my anxieties and stress into something I can control… which is precisely why I’ve started carrying a tote bag to the grocery store to haul my groceries home so as to avoid plastic bags…

5EDDEC9D-3780-44E3-837F-5D6A59C07123 — The one day out of thirty I looked and felt good about my body, so I thought I’d memorialize it in a half-naked selfie. This way I can remember when my ovary is dropping an egg each month, and my body decides to hold onto 6 lbs. of water weight, that I’m not as fat as I feel…. being a woman is such a beautiful thing.

I was going to make chicken piccata tonight for my boyfriend, because at some point today I had more energy and felt like cooking something fancy, but after working all day, commuting, doing groceries on the way home, taking a bath, giving my cat a bath, and picking up the house, and now writing this blog, I am absolutely fucking exhausted, and ordered Chinese food instead.

It’s one of those days, and I seem to be having a lot of those days lately, despite trying to stay positive and take a pro-active approach to my life and wellness and happiness.

I have been trying to take it easier on the weekends (i.e. going to bed before 2am, not binge drinking, not making poor financial decisions when I’m binge drinking), which leaves me feeling slightly more mentally stable. I picked up my new glasses last week (fucking finally) and have knocked out all of my annual doctor’s visits, bi-annual dental cleaning, so at least I’m up to date as far as my health is concerned. I also started a new painting and made good progress for the few hours I’ve put into it so far:

8116CCDD-EF41-4FB0-A83F-2AEDB4096F97 — Obviously far from finished…

My new glasses! I’ve needed new glasses for about 5 years now. I last got new glasses/frames in the year 2008 – they were Juicy Couture and are now so incredibly used and abused I couldn’t even donate them… I haven’t worn my glasses in public since maybe 2011 because the frames are so busted… literally and figuratively.

My old glasses: Pretty gross right? The lenses are scratched up, the frame is loose around the joints, and the frame shape is hideous.

In other news, while the world falls apart and I futilely attempt to lose the weight I’ve gained since January, I made the best meatballs I ever made (beef and mortadella), and also the best risotto I’ve ever made and that my boyfriend has ever eaten (his words, not mine).

B9687081-89A1-4A5E-AED5-A36E942F2784 — Beef and motadella is the winning combination – the peas in the sauce somehow make the dish much more savory and comfort-food like, especially served over polenta.

The best risotto I ever made and ever ate… not to toot my own horn, but at least I can do one thing right in this world.

I want to write out the recipe and ingredients but it’s going to have to wait because I’m physically, mentally and emotionally spent for today.

92053411-5214-4E5C-9032-3DF183CE035B (1)

IMG_7363 (1)

I’ll try to update this tomorrow to include a recipe… I’m falling asleep now.

C3C828B3-8441-43C9-A2AA-2E93DFEF61E0 — Happier times – the cheese plate we shared on Sunday after driving to Asbury Park, NJ for a cat convention