vacation – The High Heeled C*ntessa

Countdown to Vacation and the Perfect Summer Snack

Country roads, take me home… I love the road that runs parallel to my dad’s land in West Bainbridge. It’s quiet, there are always tons of wild flowers, and the flowers and fields smell heavenly

The world is still on fire (literally and figuratively) and I’m counting down the days until vacation when I can mentally step away from it all for a couple of weeks (yes, I realize I am privileged to be in a position to do so). I don’t think anyone reads this blog anymore, apart from the weird Keto/fitness bots that are always giving me likes. Shout-out to all of the Keto-diet bots and other fitness themed bots out there: cheers guys!

As if war raging on in Ukraine, global warming, climate catastrophes, global inflation, impending recession, wide-spread famine, and general political discord weren’t enough, Roe v. Wade was overturned and now the U.S. government apparently doesn’t “have the power” to phase out coal. We are truly fucked as a planet and a society…. I’d say there are maybe three years left (and that’s a generous estimate) before society collapses and the world implodes. That’s why, I am looking forward to this vacation.

Work was insane the last couple of weeks – a 50 hour work week followed by 55 hours. I barely left my house, got no exercise, no fresh air, and was teetering on the verge of insanity (when am I not though….). Thankfully, I went upstate to my parents’ house for the weekend to celebrate my niece’s 10th birthday with family. I was able to get out for a decent walk each day that I was home, although I negated the exercise with all of the food I consumed.

I felt guilty leaving my cats behind in the city though while I frolicked in nature and breathed fresh air. The cats love being at my parents’ house with more space to galavant around, fresh air and lots of wildlife to watch. It was also hot AF all weekend, and our AC units shut off after about 2 hours of blowing cold air. My boyfriend was also working 13 hour days, so my poor cats didn’t eat dinner until 1:30 AM each night after being alone in the hot apartment all damn day. I feel like a bad cat mom when they’re alone for such a long stretch…. I don’t know how some people leave their cats for days at a time.

I feel like I’ve been upstate every other weekend these last few months – my mom’s birthday, mother’s day, my brother’s 30th, father’s day, my niece’s birthday party… I’m not complaining. Being home beats spending money I shouldn’t spend to stay in this disgusting city and go out drinking. I am trying to be better at saving money, and it’s easier to do when I am not in the city on the weekend.

Peeper enjoying some fresh air over Father’s Day weekend. I can’t believe we are already a week into July now!

My boyfriend and I just celebrated our 9th anniversary. It is crazy to think we have been together for nine years, even though it also seems like our first date was just last year. I was a fun, wild, 25-year old with a crappy job, creative aspirations, and probably in the best shape of my life (apart from Fall 2018, when I was in the best shape of my life). Now, I am a 34-year old seasoned veteran, with a corporate job that allows me to actually pay my bills and have extra spending money, still creative and a lot less crazy than I was at 25, and my greatest aspirations today are moving out of this fucking city and buying property in Europe (a small farm where we can have a B&B and little restaurant…. that is THE DREAM).

We celebrated 9 years by doing a sunset sail around New York Harbor, just as we did on our first date. It rained a bit around Ellis Island/Governor’s Island, but it wasn’t anything that some wine and cheap ponchos couldn’t fix! The sailboat ride was lovely – if only tickets weren’t so pricey, I would do it every couple of weeks.

After the rain: this is a nice shot of Jersey City

I have a love-hate relationship with NYC these days; mostly hate. But, there is something to be said for that skyline

A couple of weeks ago at Elsie rooftop – I was dragged to a three hour meeting and then we had to stop by Elsie on his “day off”….at least the free drinks and sunset made up for it

My hair is almost back to an acceptable shade of strawberry-blonde, although the ends remain much lighter as a result of the bleach. I’ve also been experiencing on-going breakage due to bleach damage, and everyone keeps asking me if I’ve cut my hair. All I ever wanted was a flowing mane of hair, half-way down my back, and at this rate, that sort of length seems like a fever-dream…

Obligatory hair update: I was having a good hair day and a good skin day – a rare combination

My boyfriend finally cleaned the balcony off this past weekend, while I was at my parents’. It is too late in the season to plant, which saddens me greatly because it was so nice to have fresh tomatoes, peppers, and a spattering of cucumbers and eggplants these last couple of years. My plan now, is to go to a plant nursery this Sunday, and buy herbs and flowers to pretty up the balcony. I am obsessed with lavender at the moment, and want to pot some. The cats loved chilling on the balcony these last two summers, when the plants were in full bloom, and the views of the street were obstructed by the vegetation. Hopefully, they can enjoy the balcony in a couple of weeks after I get some plants potted.

Tuna had an unfortunate incident on the leash when the neighbor’s dog started barking and he ran for his life and almost had a heart attack. Now, he prefers taking in the fresh air from the safety of the window… poor guy.

My goal in life is to have a house/yard/property for not only myself and my boyfriend to enjoy, but also for our cats. Peeper would never come inside if it were up to him….

I know I haven’t included a recipe on here in a while. Unfortunately, when I have a crazy work week or I am upstate for the weekend, I don’t make the elaborate meals I like to do when I have time on my hands. Now that summer is in full swing, there are lots of parties, picnics and celebrations to attend. No one wants to have to turn on the oven or stand over a stove-top for hours at a clip when it’s 90 degrees outside, so the below is the perfect recipe for a Summer get-together!

SMOKED TROUT CICCHETTI:

So easy, and so damn good…. I could eat half a platter

INGREDIENTS (the hardest part of this recipe will be procuring the ingredients if you live in a rural area):

1 lb. of smoked trout
1 container (half pint) of crème fraîche
Good quality mustard
fresh dill (rinsed and dried)
1-2 fresh baguettes

INSTRUCTIONS:

Cut the baguette(s) into thin rounds; toast in the oven at 375 degrees for 5 minutes if you prefer toasted
Smear mustard over-top of all of the baguette rounds
Top with general chunk of smoked trout
Top all with a teaspoon size dollop of crème fraîche, and garnish with a frond of fresh dill

ENJOY! These were a party favorite when I brought them to two different BBQs over Memorial Day weekend. I picked up the trout at the Scandinavian cured fish counter at Essex Market. Some large grocery stores carry smoked trout, but not all. I keep meaning to stop by Essex Market next time I plan to go upstate to pick up more smoked trout – my family loved it…. as do I…. and so do my cats.

Speaking of cats, I haven’t had an uninterrupted night of sleep in years. Tuna’s newest thing is waking me up at 4 AM for food…. it is literally impossible to ignore him. I also can’t shut him out of the bedroom or he will still wake me up by scratching at the door. It’s futile. I just get up and feed him so I can go back to sleep for a few more hours. I’ve tried giving him a snack right before I go to bed, but nothing has worked. One night, I was knocked out after taking NyQuil, and he actually scratched my back for so long that he left marks. He must have been going at it for upwards of two hours while I was basically comatose.

Since the world is inevitably on its way out, I have been shopping and treating myself to new shit far more than I know I should. After all, another recession is coming and I could lose my job at any time as a result…I should really be more careful with my consumption and spending habits. I am just so incredibly excited for Italy and Greece that I am stocking up on clothes to wear on vacation. Vacation is so close I can taste it, and I am savoring these few weeks bin the run-up to the actual travel. I am trying to buy less impractical mini dresses and crop tops in my advanced age, and more sensible sundresses and tops that are family appropriate.

That being said, here is my favorite $12 Forever 21 romper, that is not family-friendly (yes, I know I previously swore off fast fashion, but I couldn’t help myself)

Felt good about myself this day…. haven’t felt good about myself since, and this was now like a month and a half ago.

I need to start prioritizing my health at all costs. I haven’t been feeling very good about my body lately. I always thought it was bullshit when people in their thirties and forties used getting older and a slowed-down metabolism as an excuse for gaining weight, but I am finding out now that it’s real. I used to be able to eat one meal a day for a week and drop 8 lbs. Now, I fast for a day and gain 5 lbs. I honestly need to stop eating late at night, drinking alcohol, and pushing myself to get out for a walk even on a 15-hour work day (yes, I had one of those last week… not OK). I am the youngest I will ever be, and there is a lot of untapped potential in my current body. I want to tap into this potential now, so I can rock the string-bikinis I bought on sale from Calzedonia with confidence on my vacation…. I better get cracking. Time is not on my side and all of these weekends spent upstate recently have not been kind to my thighs.

All About My Cats… and Maine

Sunset behind our hotel, the Newagen Seaside Inn, Boothbay Harbor Maine

I am back from my “grand” vacation of the year… a week in Maine with my family and boyfriend. It was relaxing, as was to be expected, way too full of eating (also to be expected) and not nearly a long enough escape from the hell that is my job and this wretched city (also, to be expected…). What vacation would be long enough though? Apart from a permanent vacation….

Lobster bake at the hotel… one of the best parts of Maine for me is the abundance of not just lobster, but all seafood – especially chowders. I FUCKING LOVE chowders.

I didn’t do as much physical activity as I had hoped to do prior to embarking on my vacation. The hotel had bikes to take out, but the roads surrounding the hotel were not at all conducive to biking as there was no shoulder on the road at all. I also thought the hotel would have kayaks, but sadly all they had were some pitiful rowboats, which I conned my boyfriend into taking out with me one afternoon. We didn’t last more than 40 minutes in the row boat, as the waves around the island we were attempting to skirt around got very choppy on one end, and the oars kept slipping out from the oar holders.

Naturally the one time I took the row boat out the tide was going out and the waters were getting rough… it was still fun. I love being on water, or in water, as long as it’s above 90 degrees.

Boothbay Harbor itself is a sleepy little town with not much to do besides eat, drink, and relax… or go boating. Which is precisely what we did. We took a chartered sail boat out one day as a family which was really nice. We also walked around the little town and explored the shops and restaurants. I’d have to say, my favorite meal of the week was honestly at the local Italian restaurant, Ports of Italy. Who would have thought that a coastal town in Maine would have such a good Italian restaurant?! Not me. I had the frutti di mare, and this amazing cold seafood salad as an appetizer. Everything was awesome, including the wine. My second favorite meal, was probably at the hotel’s dining room on the last night of our stay.

Mussels everywhere! I ate a lot of mussels while I was in Maine…. I’d have to say they’re my favorite mollusk besides oysters.

View from the sail boat… the captain and his first mate were very knowledgeable of the area, the history of the area, and very friendly and hospitable sailors! I would definitely take another sailboat with the Schooner Eastwind again.

More mussels… and a whole lot of butter.

There was also an alpaca farm near the hotel, where my niece, my sister and myself got a lovely tour from one of the owners and learned a whole lot about alpacas and agriculture! They also had some beautiful chickens that I was obsessed with spotting each and every time we passed their farm in the car.

We made a day trip to Freeport to hit up L.L. Bean’s and the outlets… I got some sweet plaid pants from Calvin Klein that I am VERY excited to wear this fall. I’ve been looking for plaid pants for the last year, and these are JUST what I was looking for. My other “big” purchase for myself was a copy of Anthony Bourdain’s Kitchen Confidential, which I cannot put down once I pick up to start reading. Sadly, my work schedule and demanding cats have been preventing me from picking it up more than I would like this week….

My boyfriend and I also took a drive to downtown Portland to explore. Portland is such a nice, clean, small city with a lot of awesome bars and restaurants. We are planning on going back for a long weekend stay this winter to do more exploring and see just how much worse winter in Maine could be than in NYC.

On our way back from Portland, we checked out a suburb called Cape Elizabeth, which had a surprisingly awesome park that we explored. I was disappointed to find there was no beach though – just a bunch of rocks. The rocks were beautiful, but I am sad to say I didn’t don a swimsuit once this vacation to either get in the pool, hot tub, or ocean. I didn’t go to the beach even once this summer… now that is sad.

I know… I know… I basically take the Instagram/fashion blog shots of others that I would hope they could take of me. Sadly, no one ever takes good candids of me. They get me when I’m looking down and have five chins, or from some weird angle where my body looks like Jabba the hutt. I just know people’s angles… what can I say? I mean, even the shot of the alpaca up above is flattering.

B951B3FB-570C-4FC5-8C4D-E547E19D5B73 — As you can see, the fake tan from my last post is long gone, and sadly not coming back anytime soon. I did, however, acquire plenty of freckles on my face, shoulders, and arms.

I milked my vacation for all it was worth, and scheduled a hair appointment when I came home for some red low lights (I’m going white in my temples, and color is now a necessity if I don’t want to look older than I am), and continued eating like a fatted calf for the remainder of the weekend spent in Bainbridge (you name it, I ate it… I did resist meat however, which I am very proud of). I cooked a mean carbonara for my parents upon returning home Friday night, and then on Saturday night, feeling inspired and not wanting to let the trend of devouring seafood die, I made a linguine with clams for family dinner.

When I came back to NYC, fatter and broker than ever on Sunday evening, I entered into a dark vortex of negative thoughts and resentment towards this city and towards my job, which I am still trying to turn around. I have to get out of this city as soon as I can… I’m just so over it. I also started resenting my choice to get low lights… I think the red is too dark and doesn’t flatter me. But that could just be me being me. I am hoping the color fades/lightens in the next couple of weeks. I’m trying to eat healthy this week, so sadly, I won’t be cooking anything fun.

Ah yes, almost forgot – the second part of this blog: while I was bored out of my mind one night on vacation (since the entire town of Boothbay Harbor shuts down after 8pm, and even the hotel bar was dead after 9pm), my boyfriend and I somehow came up with human profiles for each of our cats, which continued to escalate in absurdity until I wrote the full biographies on Sunday to post on IG. If my cats were humans, here is the type of humans they would be:

MEET TUNA:

Tuna is a door man at a strip club in Queens. He isn’t allowed at his uncles or grandparents house for the holidays because he was caught stealing Christmas ornaments off the tree to sell for cash to buy meth. He spent his high school days in remedial math classes and detention. When Tuna comes home, his parents have to lock up their medications. He usually shows up to family dinners with a 6-pack of Budweiser, and a half-eaten box of Enntemmen’s powdered donuts. Tuna enjoys tailgating at high school football games, fixing dirt bikes, dabbling in psychedelics, and fights at dive bars. Tuna’s idea of a perfect vacation is a week at Water Safari. Tuna’s greatest aspiration in life is to own a worm farm and grow magic mushrooms, as well as to make it to the Trump 2020 rally in Cincinnati. Tuna is a Dooms Day prepper who keeps a stash of ammo, AK-47s and ramen noodles in his parents’ attic. Tuna has a girlfriend named Crystal, who is five months pregnant with another man’s baby… but he doesn’t care, it’s true love. Tuna prefers to be called Chip.

MEET MR. PEEPER:

Peeper is a professor of anthropology studies at University of Oxford. He has a Ph.D. in law and women’s studies from Harvard. Growing up, he was the pride and joy of his parent’s lives – he was a straight-A student, Eagle Scout, and spent his summers voluntarily de-worming orphans in underdeveloped nations. He speaks 5 languages fluently and works as a volunteer, teaching deaf children Cantonese. He enjoys wine tasting, oil painting, baking clotted cream scones, throwing elaborate dinner parties, and donating money to Harvard and Yale science departments. He was also a good friend of The late Jeffrey Epstein – for 10 years they ran a mathematics camp for underprivileged teenagers. When Peeper isn’t working or volunteering, he enjoys traveling to the Cayman Islands, South Africa, and to his winery in Provence. He is married to a woman 25 years his junior, and together they have three perfect, little globe-trotting protégées named Theodore, Eloise, and Amadeus who are all geniuses.

Korn and Corn

I love rock concerts – they’re the perfect excuse to dress the way I wish I could dress all day, every day… what can I say? Old habits die hard.

Once again, I haven’t written in a while because I’ve been too caught-up in the daily grind of working to pay bills and maintaining my apartment and cats. I try to go out and party when I have an opportunity to do so, taking advantage of the fact that it’s summer, but then I feel guilty when I spend precious hours of free time recovering from a night out on the town or I end up spending a Saturday doing a weeks-work of cleaning and errands. The life of a working woman is not all it’s cracked up to be, friends.

I was in the midst of writing another installment of Indigo Wren, but I kept getting writer’s block, so I decided to throw in the towel for now.

I haven’t taken any vacation time this summer (not long weekends, not a trip to the beach, neinte, nada, NOTHING!), and therefore I am more excited than any person my age should be to have two days off of work mid-week so I can go to a Korn/Alice in Chains concert in Jones Beach… WTF. That’s what my vacation is this year… a rock concert. SAD.

Is that sad?! I think it might be, but I don’t care. The only other thing I have lined up to look forward to is a week in Maine – the last week of August. I cannot wait to spend a week on the coast, sea kayaking, biking, and drinking cocktails and eating seafood. Based on how fast the rest of this year, and especially this summer, has flown by so far, I know it will be here in the blink of an eye. Even more thrilling than being “on vacation” though, is honestly just being off of work for a whole week. Hell, I’d even take a stay-cation at this point, just to spend time away from work and out of the office. Brutal. Also, getting out of this putrid, summer-stench, dirty, ugly city will also be amazing. The entire city currently smells like expired yogurt, dehydrated, homeless person piss, dog diarrhea and rotting fruit. Fucking foul. I almost threw up one day walking up the subway stairs because I was mildly hungover and a dog (or human… who knows in this neighborhood) had diarrhe-ed ALL OVER the subway stairs.

Sorry… I know that’s gross, but alas, that’s the reality of life in this shitty city. I am SO looking forward to sleeping-in this weekend. I never thought I’d consider sleeping until 8:30am “sleeping in.” LOL. Who have I become?! Sometimes I don’t know or like this person. Then again, sometimes I DO like this person, because at least she is less prone to blacking out and losing her debit card or starting fights.

Sloppy presentation, delicious food… I made lentil “meatballs” Swedish style!

58640076850__7D34DB42-8C51-4B26-9B15-5A1AAEBE923D — Lentil Swedish “meat” balls

So, every time I made my lentil balls, I usually make them in tomato sauce, like I would traditional, Italian meatballs. I had a brilliant idea a few nights ago, to switch it up and prepare them like Swedish meatballs. I went out and bought all of the accoutrements of a typical Scandinavian meal – potatoes, beets, dill, creme fraiche, etc.. When I got home, I had to run the dishwasher because literally every piece of silverware was dirty and every single plate too. I never realized how fucking long the dishwasher takes to do it’s thing! I boiled the lentils, and then thought I could do more prep work and peel the beets, etc., until I realized even my veggie peeler and my cutting board were in the dishwasher. I tried to wait it out, but I was starving to death, especially after a glass of wine, and ended up ordering Thai food. I’ve realized I don’t like Thai food as much as I used to…. the red curry was too coconut milk-y and made me feel hella sick.

I also made some crab cakes this week, which are always a hit in this house, since my boyfriend, myself, and the cats love crab meat. Anything for my cats….

C0FF1E1A-EED5-4F22-8407-9EF5F74D8147 — (^^^ Alexa kept playing emo songs when I was cooking). The secret to moist and delectable crab cakes, is adding a couple of tablespoons of mayo to the mix.

The real showstopper this week though, or technically last weekend now, was the sweet corn risotto and sea scallop situation I made:

IMG_0946 (1)

I made the risotto first (you can modify this recipe by using chicken stock in place of seafood stock, and obviously subbing in sweet corn kernels in place of the shrimp). Yeah… I’m too damn tired to write out a recipe tonight.

I walked 3 miles to Whole Foods and back again in the 93 degree heat to get sea scallops. Despite the fact that there are a couple of closer fish stores, Whole Foods still has the best seafood in the area. I pan seared the scallops in butter (recipe for scallops can be found HERE).

There was a ton of risotto left-over since the scallops were the main feature of this meal. I love to cook enough food that I have leftovers for a couple of days…. even though cooking brings me a lot of joy and it’s something I enjoy doing every day, it’s comforting to know there is prepared food in the fridge in case I get stuck working late.

What else have I been up to lately? Not much…. klutz-ing around as usual. I decided to do a fake tan (St. Tropez), as I was sick of seeing how lovely everyone else looked all bronzed and golden and sunkissed. Needless to say, the same thing that happens every time I fake tan happened again – I looked like I was radioactive and/or sprayed with agent orange. I don’t know why I always convince myself that maybe ‘this time will be different than the last’ when I decide I don’t want to be pale anymore.