italian food – The High Heeled C*ntessa

Countdown to Vacation and the Perfect Summer Snack

Country roads, take me home… I love the road that runs parallel to my dad’s land in West Bainbridge. It’s quiet, there are always tons of wild flowers, and the flowers and fields smell heavenly

The world is still on fire (literally and figuratively) and I’m counting down the days until vacation when I can mentally step away from it all for a couple of weeks (yes, I realize I am privileged to be in a position to do so). I don’t think anyone reads this blog anymore, apart from the weird Keto/fitness bots that are always giving me likes. Shout-out to all of the Keto-diet bots and other fitness themed bots out there: cheers guys!

As if war raging on in Ukraine, global warming, climate catastrophes, global inflation, impending recession, wide-spread famine, and general political discord weren’t enough, Roe v. Wade was overturned and now the U.S. government apparently doesn’t “have the power” to phase out coal. We are truly fucked as a planet and a society…. I’d say there are maybe three years left (and that’s a generous estimate) before society collapses and the world implodes. That’s why, I am looking forward to this vacation.

Work was insane the last couple of weeks – a 50 hour work week followed by 55 hours. I barely left my house, got no exercise, no fresh air, and was teetering on the verge of insanity (when am I not though….). Thankfully, I went upstate to my parents’ house for the weekend to celebrate my niece’s 10th birthday with family. I was able to get out for a decent walk each day that I was home, although I negated the exercise with all of the food I consumed.

I felt guilty leaving my cats behind in the city though while I frolicked in nature and breathed fresh air. The cats love being at my parents’ house with more space to galavant around, fresh air and lots of wildlife to watch. It was also hot AF all weekend, and our AC units shut off after about 2 hours of blowing cold air. My boyfriend was also working 13 hour days, so my poor cats didn’t eat dinner until 1:30 AM each night after being alone in the hot apartment all damn day. I feel like a bad cat mom when they’re alone for such a long stretch…. I don’t know how some people leave their cats for days at a time.

I feel like I’ve been upstate every other weekend these last few months – my mom’s birthday, mother’s day, my brother’s 30th, father’s day, my niece’s birthday party… I’m not complaining. Being home beats spending money I shouldn’t spend to stay in this disgusting city and go out drinking. I am trying to be better at saving money, and it’s easier to do when I am not in the city on the weekend.

Peeper enjoying some fresh air over Father’s Day weekend. I can’t believe we are already a week into July now!

My boyfriend and I just celebrated our 9th anniversary. It is crazy to think we have been together for nine years, even though it also seems like our first date was just last year. I was a fun, wild, 25-year old with a crappy job, creative aspirations, and probably in the best shape of my life (apart from Fall 2018, when I was in the best shape of my life). Now, I am a 34-year old seasoned veteran, with a corporate job that allows me to actually pay my bills and have extra spending money, still creative and a lot less crazy than I was at 25, and my greatest aspirations today are moving out of this fucking city and buying property in Europe (a small farm where we can have a B&B and little restaurant…. that is THE DREAM).

We celebrated 9 years by doing a sunset sail around New York Harbor, just as we did on our first date. It rained a bit around Ellis Island/Governor’s Island, but it wasn’t anything that some wine and cheap ponchos couldn’t fix! The sailboat ride was lovely – if only tickets weren’t so pricey, I would do it every couple of weeks.

After the rain: this is a nice shot of Jersey City

I have a love-hate relationship with NYC these days; mostly hate. But, there is something to be said for that skyline

A couple of weeks ago at Elsie rooftop – I was dragged to a three hour meeting and then we had to stop by Elsie on his “day off”….at least the free drinks and sunset made up for it

My hair is almost back to an acceptable shade of strawberry-blonde, although the ends remain much lighter as a result of the bleach. I’ve also been experiencing on-going breakage due to bleach damage, and everyone keeps asking me if I’ve cut my hair. All I ever wanted was a flowing mane of hair, half-way down my back, and at this rate, that sort of length seems like a fever-dream…

Obligatory hair update: I was having a good hair day and a good skin day – a rare combination

My boyfriend finally cleaned the balcony off this past weekend, while I was at my parents’. It is too late in the season to plant, which saddens me greatly because it was so nice to have fresh tomatoes, peppers, and a spattering of cucumbers and eggplants these last couple of years. My plan now, is to go to a plant nursery this Sunday, and buy herbs and flowers to pretty up the balcony. I am obsessed with lavender at the moment, and want to pot some. The cats loved chilling on the balcony these last two summers, when the plants were in full bloom, and the views of the street were obstructed by the vegetation. Hopefully, they can enjoy the balcony in a couple of weeks after I get some plants potted.

Tuna had an unfortunate incident on the leash when the neighbor’s dog started barking and he ran for his life and almost had a heart attack. Now, he prefers taking in the fresh air from the safety of the window… poor guy.

My goal in life is to have a house/yard/property for not only myself and my boyfriend to enjoy, but also for our cats. Peeper would never come inside if it were up to him….

I know I haven’t included a recipe on here in a while. Unfortunately, when I have a crazy work week or I am upstate for the weekend, I don’t make the elaborate meals I like to do when I have time on my hands. Now that summer is in full swing, there are lots of parties, picnics and celebrations to attend. No one wants to have to turn on the oven or stand over a stove-top for hours at a clip when it’s 90 degrees outside, so the below is the perfect recipe for a Summer get-together!

SMOKED TROUT CICCHETTI:

So easy, and so damn good…. I could eat half a platter

INGREDIENTS (the hardest part of this recipe will be procuring the ingredients if you live in a rural area):

1 lb. of smoked trout
1 container (half pint) of crème fraîche
Good quality mustard
fresh dill (rinsed and dried)
1-2 fresh baguettes

INSTRUCTIONS:

Cut the baguette(s) into thin rounds; toast in the oven at 375 degrees for 5 minutes if you prefer toasted
Smear mustard over-top of all of the baguette rounds
Top with general chunk of smoked trout
Top all with a teaspoon size dollop of crème fraîche, and garnish with a frond of fresh dill

ENJOY! These were a party favorite when I brought them to two different BBQs over Memorial Day weekend. I picked up the trout at the Scandinavian cured fish counter at Essex Market. Some large grocery stores carry smoked trout, but not all. I keep meaning to stop by Essex Market next time I plan to go upstate to pick up more smoked trout – my family loved it…. as do I…. and so do my cats.

Speaking of cats, I haven’t had an uninterrupted night of sleep in years. Tuna’s newest thing is waking me up at 4 AM for food…. it is literally impossible to ignore him. I also can’t shut him out of the bedroom or he will still wake me up by scratching at the door. It’s futile. I just get up and feed him so I can go back to sleep for a few more hours. I’ve tried giving him a snack right before I go to bed, but nothing has worked. One night, I was knocked out after taking NyQuil, and he actually scratched my back for so long that he left marks. He must have been going at it for upwards of two hours while I was basically comatose.

Since the world is inevitably on its way out, I have been shopping and treating myself to new shit far more than I know I should. After all, another recession is coming and I could lose my job at any time as a result…I should really be more careful with my consumption and spending habits. I am just so incredibly excited for Italy and Greece that I am stocking up on clothes to wear on vacation. Vacation is so close I can taste it, and I am savoring these few weeks bin the run-up to the actual travel. I am trying to buy less impractical mini dresses and crop tops in my advanced age, and more sensible sundresses and tops that are family appropriate.

That being said, here is my favorite $12 Forever 21 romper, that is not family-friendly (yes, I know I previously swore off fast fashion, but I couldn’t help myself)

Felt good about myself this day…. haven’t felt good about myself since, and this was now like a month and a half ago.

I need to start prioritizing my health at all costs. I haven’t been feeling very good about my body lately. I always thought it was bullshit when people in their thirties and forties used getting older and a slowed-down metabolism as an excuse for gaining weight, but I am finding out now that it’s real. I used to be able to eat one meal a day for a week and drop 8 lbs. Now, I fast for a day and gain 5 lbs. I honestly need to stop eating late at night, drinking alcohol, and pushing myself to get out for a walk even on a 15-hour work day (yes, I had one of those last week… not OK). I am the youngest I will ever be, and there is a lot of untapped potential in my current body. I want to tap into this potential now, so I can rock the string-bikinis I bought on sale from Calzedonia with confidence on my vacation…. I better get cracking. Time is not on my side and all of these weekends spent upstate recently have not been kind to my thighs.

Gnocchi, Eggplant, and the Daily Grind

OK – I think I just figured out how to add a caption again..

Apparently I can’t add captions to photos anymore… either that or the ChromeBook from 2015 that I use to write these posts hasn’t allowed for whatever updates I need to write captions, due to a software upgrade. Just another aspect of my existence that’s fallen behind the times and cannot be updated due to lack of funds. It’s whatever… I’ll spend the rest of my life using my discretionary income to buy birthday presents, help street cats, and buy wedding shower gifts for people while I remain struggling and wearing clothes from Poshmark and Forever21 (remember when I vowed to stop buying fast fashion? Yeah… If I made more money, maybe I could have kept that vow). It’s a fate I’ve come to accept. This is my purpose on life… to stay poor and serve others.

I’ll never own a house, I’ll never have kids (largely because I don’t want kids, but I also can’t afford them), and probably never get married at this rate. If I do get married, I’ll be so old that I won’t even be able to wear the sexy wedding dress I always imagined myself wearing – I’ll also need a “The Swan” level makeover prior to my wedding, because in addition to already needing botox and fillers (but not being able to afford them), I’ll also most likely require a breast lift and lipo by that point in my life. I’m fucked. Fucked financially, fucked in the head… you name it.

The only things I’m currently looking forward to are a Korn concert in August, and a trip to Italy and France that we are planning for September. I will finally see my boyfriend’s parents and his friends for the first time since 2018, and I will finally see the South of France, which I’ve wanted to visit for basically forever. I’m enjoying planning this vacation… however, it means I have to be even more careful with my already-limited discretionary income. I mean I don’t go out much, but when I do it somehow ends up being a $100-$200 evening… EVERY TIME. This is probably why I now only go out once a month…. Fucking Uber prices are out of control these days. I should honestly just delete the app and take my chances being assaulted as a drunk woman on the subway next time I’m out. I spent fucking $57 on an Uber from midtown Manhattan back to Williamsburg last Saturday. I could buy a week’s groceries with that.

Can you tell I’m in a great mood today? 😀

The other thing which has become the bane of my fucking existential existence, is that I am still helping the stray cats that I already busted my ass to raise money for and help off the streets. There is literally only so much I can do as one person, without extra cash to spend on two extra cats. I hate promoting the GoFundMe I created… it feels like begging, and that is the last thing I ever wanted to do. I basically spent 9 months of my life starving (legit… starving) because I didn’t want to ask my parents for help when I was working as a server and not even making enough money to pay my rent (which was only $650 back then….). Like, if I’m not even OK asking for help when I need it myself, how do you expect me to keep asking for help for two cats that everyone now thinks are “all good” just because they’re off the streets and in homes? I do what I can… but what I can do never feels like enough. I really thought my part would be done after the cats were off the street, in homes, and had their initial vet visits… now I get daily texts about one peeing outside of the litter box and the other one hiding under the bed. I sometimes think I did more harm then good. I guess this is why you shouldn’t meddle in other people’s business. Maybe these cats were better off on the street, and for my own selfish reasons, I couldn’t bare to walk by and see them living like that. Maybe they were happier… I don’t know.

Seriously though… I’m only living for this Korn concert and trip to Europe right now. I don’t care about dinners out, parties, drinks with friends… I just need this trip to Europe with the boyfriend I basically see one day a week. I’m over everything. I need a legit vacation, and I need time off with my boyfriend and no one else.

Sunday cheese board – I don’t think we had cheese in months! I couldn’t even finish my glass of wine because I was so fucking hungover from the night before… I am literally never going out again.

I’ve given up on the goal of finding a new job before July 6th, when I have to start going back to my office in midtown 2-3 days a week, but my new goal is to have a new job lined up when I get back from my vacation in late September. I think it’s doable – I just need to find the motivation to do it. I mean, more money is my primary motivation… but it’s so hard to find time and willpower when you’re already in front of a computer for 8 hours a day for work.

Speaking of work, I had to run a collateral errand for the first time in over a year and a few months, and it was kind of nice. The client was so desperate to have someone sign pages in front of me, that they paid for a car service to pick me up in Brooklyn, drive me to two towns in Long Island, and then back to the office in Midtown. I was bitching about the absurdity of it all the night before, but it was really nice sitting in a luxury SUV for three hours, and getting paid to just ride around collecting and dropping off signature pages. I think I could do it more often….

I was feeling good about myself after styling my hair for the first time since early 2020… had to take some pics, naturally

I must have a crop top for every band I like at this point….

My zit comes back in the same place every single month…there must be some sort of underground oil well on my face there. that releases oil when the estrogen starts flowing… LOL

It has been hotter than hell in NYC this past week – about 90-91 degrees every day for the last four days with 82% humidity… absolutely foul. I know people always bitch about how they can’t wait for Summer to come when we are in Winter here. I am not one of those people. Winters here are not even that brutal, but summers sure as hell are… especially in the last several years. Global warming is increasingly evident here. Since it has been so damn hot, I have been avoiding cooking anything that involves the oven or multiple sauce pans of boiling water on the range.

Before the heatwave arrived last week, I decided to take advantage of a nice 78 degree evening we had, and make gnocchi, since it involves the oven and I wanted to make one good meal before I swore off the oven for the next five days. I based the dish I made on one that a little, Italian restaurant in Alphabet City (East Village) had, once upon a time, when they were still open.

My sister was the one who introduced me to this restaurant – I remember going when I was a student at FIT, with my sister and mom and brother-in-law. I think I also went a couple of times after that. I just looked the restaurant up, and they opened in 2000! Apparently, they’re still open and they are now located in Tribeca! Who knew!

I remember they moved to Williamsburg for a brief time in 2013 after the lower East Side location closed, and I took my boyfriend to have dinner there after raving about the place for months. Sadly, when Max existed in Williamsburg, it was not as good as I’d remembered it to be. The food was mega salty and their was a lack of ambiance and coziness that the restaurant in Manhattan had had. Anyhow, they had this amazing gnocchi dish with roasted eggplant, and their marinara sauce was to die for! I feel like I ordered that dish every time I went to the lower East Side Max. And so, having picked up two nice eggplants from the deli last week, and needing a plan for them that was NOT eggplant parm (I was not about to bread and fry shit that night… that requires a very particular mood), I decided to recreate this dish!

This is a picture of the dish, as taken from Max’s website… I cannot believe they still exist! I will definitely have to check them out in Tribeca!

If you’re not going to make homemade sauce (and I sure as hell wasn’t, since I was making homemade gnocchi!) , I highly recommend Rao’s… it’s pricey and a bit salty (if not slightly diluted) but it tastes homemade!

INGREDIENTS:

1 large eggplant (or two smaller ones)
1 jar of quality marinara sauce (Rao’s isVictoria brand)
1 package bocconcino (mozzarella balls) **OPTIONAL
grated Parmigiano to top the dish, and for the gnocchi
fresh basil to garnish
olive oil
FOR THE GNOCCHI:
2 large Idaho potatoes
2 cups flour ( 1.5 will go directly into the gnocchi mix and rest is for kneading and dusting the counter top, etc)
1/4 cup finely grated Parmigiano
1 large egg (beaten)
1 tsp. salt

DIRECTIONS:

Set oven to 400 degrees
Wash your potatoes and pierce them with a fork in several locations around the potato, rub in oil, and set on baking tray
Wash eggplant and cut into small cubes
arrange eggplant on same tray as potatoes, coat in olive oil and sprinkle with salt
put tray of potatoes/eggplant into oven to bake: the eggplant can come out after 20 minutes, and go into a saucepan, the potatoes need to bake about 45-50 minutes (total), so they will go back into the over after you move the eggplant to the saucepan

Sorry for these snaps from Instagram. I try to make it a pint to take regular pictures on my phone, but I often end up posting videos of the process to my Instagram stories, and then have to take screenshots for the blog!

After 20 minutes at 400 degrees, the eggplant will be transferred to a large saucepan on the stove, over low-medium heat (make sure the saucepan is coated with olive oil!)
Cook the eggplant over low heat for another 4 minutes or so, and then add in the entire jar of sauce, along with maybe 1/4 cup extra water, and continue to cook over low heat until the eggplant is very soft (it should already be fairly soft after the oven)
Once the potatoes are done baking (you should test by sticking a knife into the potato), slice the potatoes open length wise and let cool for a minute, or just until you’re able to handle them without burning your hands

once you are able to handle the hot potatoes, use a spoon to scoop out the inside of the potato into a large mixing bowl (you want to make sure you avoid getting the skin into the gnocchi mix)
Add in about 1/4 cup grated Parm, 1.5 cups flour, salt, and the beaten egg and mix away! (you can also add a couple tablespoons of olive oil, or even cold water, if needed!)

Mix all of the ingredients together to form a soft dough
add more flour if necessary (a bit at a time) – the dough should not be sticky or tacky
lightly flour the surface on which you will be rolling out the dough, flour the dough lightly and cut into four, equal sections

working with one section at a time, roll the dough into a rope that is about as thick as your thumb
Next, take a sharp knife and cute the rope into 1 inch sections that should look like little pillows

I like to lightly flour the gnocchi at this pint, before I make the fork imprints
after the gnocchi has been cut into these little pillows, you will use the tongs of a fork to gently imprint the top … this helps sauce stick on them, although this step can probably be skipped if you’re in a rush for time or just not feeling the extra effort
Set aside the finished gnocchi, onto a plate or board, where they can later easily be transferred to a pot of boiling water
complete these steps with the remaining three pieces of dough (don’t say I didn’t warn you – it literally takes FOREVER… this is definitely a dish to impress or show your love to someone)

now that your gnocchi are waiting, start a pot of heavily salted water on high heat and bring to a boil
You should also turn the oven back on, to 380 degrees (you’re going to finish the dish in the oven after all ingredients have been added)
add in the fresh gnocchi once the water is boiling – because they are fresh, they will only take a minute or two to cook
you’ll know they are done, once they float to the surface of the pot
using a slatted spoon, scoop the gnocchi from the surface up and into the saucepan with the sauce and eggplant

Once the gnocchi has been added to the sauce/eggplant, you’ll want to throw in a handful of the little mozzarella balls, transfer the saucepan (as long as it doesn’t have any plastic!) directly into the oven, and bake for about 6 minutes, or until mozzarella is melted
Serve in a bowl and top with freshly grated parm and fresh basil for garnish

This is definitely a dish to steal a man (or woman’s) heart)

Enjoy!!!! 🙂

Climate Change and Lentil Bolognese

90 degrees on the first day of Fall… global warming is a real bitch…. I finally bought some sweaters and tights and I’m still wearing sleeveless button-ups. I remember when I was young, we were lucky if it was 65 degrees this time of year!

I want to plan a world-wide work strike against climate change – I’m just not sure how to get started. Imagine the reduction in carbon emissions even if only just for one day, if the majority of people (or ideally all people) took the day off of work and didn’t use their car, and if factories couldn’t operate because they had no workers?! I should take some tips from Greta Thunberg and just start solo-striking all alone… I’m pretty sure I’ll lose my job in the first week…

I was home this past weekend (well, Thursday-Saturday…) to get Tuna neutered. The cost of the vet upstate is about 1/3 of what it is in the greater NYC area. Totally work taking a couple of days off of work (I mean, what isn’t worth taking days off work???). It was also nice to be home with just my parents and to enjoy some end-of-summer weather.

Beautiful goldenrod everywhere… I love this time of year when everything turns shades of mustard and gold

My parents and Max walking out of our woods

I’m so happy I finally bit the bullet and took the days off to make the trip home and get Tuna neutered. At least it’s done and over with now and he is pretty much back to normal.

If you want to see more pics of the cats or of Tuna in his Handmaid’s Tale cone, here you go: instagram.com/peepsandtuna

Because I can’t post a picture of one without posting the other (that would make me a bad mom…), here’s Mr. Peeper at his finest

This probably won’t be here in the next 20 years if global warming continues unabated

Pictures never do real life or lighting justice sadly. I cleaned out my closet a couple of weeks ago and found so many things that I bought with every intention of wearing in a specific outfit, and which have never seen the light of day. The below tutu skirt is one of them…. I know tutu skirts are very SJP circa 2000’s Sex in the City, but It makes for some pretty fun outfits:

Paired with my fave Hello Kitty Sweatshirt

My favorite escape in Brooklyn – Greenwood Cemetery …

I made a really good vegetarian Bolognese with lentils last week, the recipe of which is based directly on my classic Bolognese recipe:

3576121A-A5E6-40CD-9C04-C381E53DE066 (1)

Here is the recipe:

INGREDIENTS:

3 cups of cooked lentils (brown or French) (roughly 1 and 1/2 cups dry lentils cooked in 3-4 cups of veggie stock, for flavor)
1 box pasta of your choice (rigatoni, spaghetti, penne, linguini all work great)
1/3 cup olive oil (enough to coat the bottom of a large sauce-pan)
2 large carrots, finely chopped
2 stalks of celery, finely chopped
1/2 of a white or yellow onion, finely chopped
4 cloves of garlic, finely chopped
1 cup dry, white wine (Pinot Grigio works well!)
1 cup freshly shaved Parmesan (plus more to sprinkle over finished pasta)
1 large can of San Marzano crushed tomatoes
1 small can of tomato paste
fresh parsley
1/2 cup heavy cream
1 Tbs. dried basil
1 Tbs. dried oregano
1 tsp. red pepper flakes
1 tsp. granulated sugar
1 tsp. granulated garlic
Salt and pepper (add to desired taste)

DIRECTIONS:

Pre-cook your lentils, boiling in veggie stock until tender (but not over-cooked or mushy, since they will finish cooking in the sauce!)
Set aside the lentils once cooked, and heat the olive oil in a large sauce pan over a low-medium heat
Add in onions and cook until a yellow-y translucent color (about 6 minutes), stirring occasionally
Add in carrots and celery and continue to cook over low-medium heat, stirring occasionally for another 5 min.
Add in garlic and continue to cook and stir, being careful not to burn garlic
Add in the already cooked lentils and cook for a minute over low-medium heat.
Add in the white wine and simmer for about 3 minutes
Add in the can of crushed tomatoes along with the granulated garlic, sugar, salt, pepper, dried basil and oregano, and crushed red pepper; stir together and reduce to low heat
Add in the small can of tomato paste and stir in thoroughly; continue to stir and cook over a low heat.
After cooking over low heat for another 10 minutes or so, add in the heavy cream and stir
Add in the Parmesan cheese and continue to stir and cook, making sure cheese is incorporated into the sauce

Add in the fresh chopped parsley and stir
I advise taste-testing as you go along to ensure the sauce has a good balance – feel free to add more salt, pepper, pepper flakes, oregano/basil, or sugar if needed
Let the sauce continue to simmer over minimum heat and boil a large pot of heavily salted water for the pasta
Cook pasta according to cook time advised on packaging; once pasta is cooked to al dente, drain and either add to sauce pan, if large enough, or back to pot and then add the Bolognese sauce into the pot of pasta – stir well
Serve in bowls with freshly grated Parmesan over-top and a garnish of fresh parsley or fresh basil!

This dish is perfect for fall… super hearty, tasty, comforting and high in fiber (if you know what I’m saying….)

Mushroom “burger” (aka, mushroom patty?) I made last night

Too lazy to write another recipe. Cheers.

Hangry and Sleep Deprived

What a day… I can’t even begin to get into it, or I’ll never stop. Let’s just say – I’m over it…. over everything … on every possible level you can imagine.

I’m currently listing to Dolly Parton, which is another level of disgusting in itself, considering that I hate country music and recently learned that Dolly doesn’t even call or consider herself a feminist. I won’t go into that either. I’m not sure why some women think the label ‘feminist’ is a bad thing, especially in the year 2019. It simply means a person (man, woman, etc.) who wants equal rights for both men and women (and everyone in between). I guess the people who consider it a dirty term have never taken a women’s studies class in their life, and therefore associate the label with a “feminazi,” or a man-hating, non-armpit-shaving, bra-burning, lesbian straight out of 1968 (**not that that would be a bad thing to be, even if you were that person I just described…). I’m just saying – calling yourself a feminist doesn’t mean you hate men or that you shun makeup and heels in favor of cargo shorts and trips to Home Depot. It means you want equal pay, rights, and equal opportunities for all – regardless of sex, gender, or sexual orientation. I guess in Dolly’s case, even though she has a large gay fan-base, she also has to cater to her equally-as-large, republican, pro-Trump fan base too… sad.

Dolly – you really disappointed me on top of everything else that disappointed me today…

201606-omag-dolly-parton-miss-mona-450x450

I had the shittiest dinner after the shittiest day – it was only fitting. I was so pissed off by the time I arrived home at 9pm, I had no appetite. I kind of love when that happens, but naturally I had to go and ruin it by drinking a glass of wine and it spurred my appetite into action. If I never drank alcohol, I’m pretty sure I would never be hungry. But, given my lifestyle, quitting wine isn’t really an option, unless I can take up MMA fighting or get a prescription for Klonopin…

881817FC-4EAA-4EEE-B3A1-D3B3583AD0D8 — If the outside matched the inside – this would be my attitude all day everyday… instead I’m relegated to Hillary Clinton-esque slacks and button ups and playing nice.

When I finally got home, ravaged and miserable, I fed my poor little catty, who should have even three hours prior to my arrival time, and then took a bath with a generous glass of Malbec. I proceeded to electrocute my face with the NuFace, since I have been so exhausted these past few mornings that I’ve neglected to do so. When I came out of the bath, I could smell my neighbor’s cooking – and tonight it smelled like fried artichoke hearts and stuffed mushroom poppers. Suddenly, I was salivating. Instead of eating pasta at 11pm, I decided to be healthy and make a salad to satiate my unrelenting hunger:

I guess everything is sad today – because this is one of the saddest salads I’ve ever tried to make into a meal. No cheese, nuts, olives, avocados, or any sort of protein or healthy fat. The salad is mostly purple cabbage. At least the dressing is homemade and delicious – that’s the only thing this salad has going for it. Kind of like the only thing I have going for me is my cute cat.

It doesn’t really help that I also only average about 6 hours of sleep a night or less. The only time it seems like I get enough sleep is on the weekends (and only sometimes), when I can go to bed at 10pm and sleep until 9am. This happens maybe once a month now, since even weekends seem to be full of obligations and plans. I feel like I’m so haggard when I don’t sleep – I seriously feel I have aged about 6 years in the past 2.5 years given my lack of sleep.

Anyhow, enough about me and my anger and sleep deprivation. Yesterday, I made a delightful pasta with a creamy sauce made of pureed zucchini. I’m too fucking tired to write the recipe, but I’ll update tomorrow if I don’t work another 12 hour day…. JK, I’ll write it now… what’s another 20 minutes off my sleep time?

The finished product: Penne with pureed zucchini sauce and cherry tomatoes

INGREDIENTS:

Box of penne, rigatoni, or fussili
4 Tbs. Olive Oil
2 Tbs. butter
1/2 cup finely grated Parmesan cheese (plus more to sprinkle on top)
1/2 chicken stock
1/4 cup heavy cream
4 small, green zucchinis, chopped up into small chunks
1/2 medium yellow onion, finely minced
6 cloves of garlic, finely minced
1 small carton of cherry or grape tomatoes, cut into halves
salt and pepper to taste
1 tsp. dried basil
1 tsp. dried oregano
1/2 tsp. cayenne pepper
Fresh basil to garnish

DIRECTIONS:

In a large saucepan, heat the olive oil (2 Tbs.) and butter over low heat
Add in the minced onion and cook for 5 minutes over low heat, until the onions are translucent and soft
Add in the minced garlic (about 4 cloves worth) and cook for another 3 minutes (as usual, be careful not to burn the garlic!)
Add in the chopped zucchini and cook over medium heat, stirring frequently
Continue to stir and cook until the zucchini is soft and fully cooked (taste test to make sure)
Remove the zucchini from the the heat
Place a large pot of heavily salted water on high heat and bring to a boil for the pasta
While the pasta water comes to a boil, add the contents of the zucchini saucepan into a blender
Add in about 1/2 cup chicken stock
Blend over high speed until mixture is thick and saucy – there shouldn’t be any large chunks

After adding the cooked zucchini, onion and garlic mixture to the blender, add 1/2 cup chicken stock blend on high until sauce is thick and blended fully

Return the mixture to the saucepan and turn to low heat
Add the pasta into the pot of boiling water and cook according to time on box
Add in the cream, salt, pepper, cayenne, dried basil and dried oregano as well as the Parmesan cheese and stir until all ingredients have combined into thick sauce
Add additional seasoning as necessary, depending on your tastes
Once pasta is done cooking, drain the water, and add the pasta into the sauce (or add the sauce into the pasta pot – whichever is more accommodating)
In a clean sauce pan, add in 2 Tbs. of olive oil over low heat
Add in another 2 cloves of minced garlic and cook for about 2 minutes
Add in the cherry tomatoes, season with a bit more salt and pepper and cook over low-medium heat for about 6 minutes

After adding the zucchini sauce to the cooked pasta, use a clean plan to saute the remaining cloves of garlic with some cherry or grape tomatoes in olive oil/butter

Add the tomatoes to the rest of the pasta/sauce once cooked through
Top with additional sprinkle of Parmesan cheese and fresh basil leaves

I wish I had a shot of adrenaline that would be dispensed into my arm when my alarm went off tomorrow morning. But sadly the best I could muster was setting up my coffee machine so all I have to do is hit a single button. Looks like 5 hours of sleep for me tonight…. cheers.

After-Birthday Blues and Garbage Take Out Food

I need to find a way to wake up like this every morning – waking up in ugly NYC and having to ride the MTA after drinking my cup of coffee in 2 minutes flat just isn’t cutting it

My birthday has once again come and gone, but the celebration isn’t over yet kids. I plan on going ballz to the wall this weekend come hell or high water. This past weekend was just the calm before the storm. I spent a relaxing 24 hours (… yeah, you heard me; 24 hours) in a cabin in the woods with my boyfriend and cat. It was perfect, despite being about 48 hours too short. The hot tub, the solitude, and the snow that fell Sunday night was perfect – I finally got some snow, on my birthday no less 🙂 I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect night in.

Finally some fresh snow! There is nothing better than sitting in a hot tub while snow flakes fall all around you

Mr. Peeper also enjoyed getting the f*ck out of NYC and getting some fresh, country air

The house came equipped with a grill and some sort of outdoor fire pit decorative thing, which miraculously kept burning even throughout the snowfall. We did groceries at the local Shop Rite grocery store, and they had a surprisingly good seafood section – the scallops were way better than the ones I get at my local ratchet market here in Brooklyn, and the fish was also excellent on the grill:

The pasta I made was incredibly simple (recipe to follow), but amazingly delicious. Don’t mind the ugly-ass plates… not my aesthetic. The pasta also looks monochromatic as f*ck because I forgot to buy fresh parsley at the grocery store

Grilled haddock kept simple with salt, pepper, lemon, and a drizzle of olive oil

Fresh beet and goat cheese salad… my favorite! The fresh beets make all the difference, although it is time consuming to clean, peel and boil them – they take about 35 minutes to cook through when boiling.

It truly sucks to be back in the city and back to work after such a short respite. I think I need at least a full week off to feel fully refreshed, and even that will be cutting it short (I think I am just not suited to working a 9-5, Monday thru Friday corporate job, if I’m to be completely honest…). I went to sleep at like 9:30pm last night watching At Eternity’s Gate (the new-ish Willem Dafoe movie wherein he plays van Gogh), but I still woke up absolutely exhausted and in need of at least 3 more hours of sleep this morning. I hate falling asleep before 11pm because I feel like I am wasting precious non-work hours. I am also upset that I missed the end of the movie, since it was right up my ally and I was really enjoying it. Willem Dafoe and van Gogh – two of my favorites… what’s not to love?! I will finish it tonight, if the rental is still available.

Tomorrow is already Wednesday, but the weekend feels so very far away. I guess you’ll have that when you live for the weekends. Last night upon returning to NYC, I was just too tired to do groceries and cook, so I ordered an eggplant parm hero and fries. What a way to start the week and celebrate a birthday. Anyhow, here is the recipe for the scallop pasta pictured above!

INGREDIENTS:

1 lb. of wild-caught sea scallops (fresh or frozen is fine)
2 lemons
4 TBS. (1/2 stick) butter
1/4 cup olive oil
4 cloves fresh, finely minced garlic
2 TBS. finely chopped, fresh parsley (plus more to garnish… which I failed to do as seen above)
1 tsp. dried oregano
1 tsp. dried basil
Salt and pepper to taste
1 box of linguine (or fettuccine, or spaghetti…)

DIRECTIONS:

Put a large pot of heavily-salted water on high heat (for the pasta) to bring to a boil, while you prepare the scallops.
In a large saucepan, melt the butter and about 2 TBS. of the olive oil together, over low heat.
Add in the minced garlic and cook over low heat for about 2 minutes, being careful not to burn.
Add in the scallops and raise the heat to medium.
Cook the scallops for about 3 minutes on each side – I suggest flipping each scallop only once.
After the scallops are cooked through (I suggest taking one out and cutting in half to try), add in the salt, pepper, dried oregano and dried basil and squeeze in the juice from one lemon.
Once the pasta water has come to a rolling boil, add in the box of pasta and cook until al dente.
Drain the pasta and add into the saucepan with the scallops.
Add in the rest of the olive oil, along with the freshly chopped parsley, more pepper, and the juice of the second lemon and stir/toss together all ingredients.
Add a garnish of fresh parsley to serve.

#basicbitch