New York is Dead… for Now

It’s true what they say, New York is dead. It’s not just dead… it’s a dirty, dangerous, ghost town, where crime is rampant, garbage is everywhere, and storefronts and restaurants are empty. Everyone with money left – they went to their houses in the Hamptons, or bought a house upstate. Others, who are not rich, but lost their jobs in the pandemic and couldn’t possibly continue to pay NYC rent, also left. They went back to whatever hometown they originally came from – either to live rent free with their family for a while, or if they could afford to do so, they made the move to another city or town somewhere other than here – perhaps to a city that is still alive with a hospitality industry that hasn’t been totally SHIT ON by the Governor. I’m still here, because I can’t afford to move (yet), and also because my job is based here (even though I work remotely, and pray we will be able to continue to do so for the rest of eternity). My boyfriend’s job is also here, and sadly his is a job that cannot be done remotely (restaurant/hospitality industry). If I had the money or option to just pick up and leave, believe me, I would have done so years ago… I’ve wanted to leave NYC for the last three years, but these past 10 months have been the nail in the coffin, my friend.

I’ve lived here since 2012, and before that, I did two years of college here from 2006-2008. I can honestly say, I’ve never seen the city so dirty, run-down, dangerous, or deserted as it is right now. Everyday, random people are getting slashed on sidewalks, pushed into oncoming subway trains, randomly attacked at subway stations IN BROAD DAYLIGHT, etc.. I’ve never been scared to ride the subway alone – especially during rush hour or in broad daylight (apart from when a terrorist attack happened elsewhere and made me dwell on an attack happening on the subway…). Now? I avoid the subway at all costs unless I’m with my boyfriend. I had to take it the other day to run an errand for work, and during rush hour, RUSH HOUR (8:30am) the train was totally deserted and the stations were totally deserted, save for a few homeless people. It’s eerie, and straight up dangerous. There’s not a soul around to see you if you get attacked or hear you scream for help. All of Chambers St. station in lower Manhattan was TOTALLY empty.

In the past 6 months or so, the times I do ride the train, what I see is tragic. There are more homeless people than ever before – also a lot of criminals and mentally ill homeless people, and also criminals that have been released from prison due to COVID. People who commit violent crimes are being released back onto the streets… and it shows. I’m not saying that the homeless people are the issue – although it’s clear HOMELESSNESS itself, IS an issue. It’s the violent, psychopaths starting fights and carrying knives that I’m talking about. The shit I’ve seen in the last few months, I have never ever seen before in my years in NYC… and believe me, as someone who rode the subway everyday and used it at night… I’ve seen some shit in my years (a guy masturbating into his coat, had my ass grabbed on a crowded train, people riding the train in underwear, people having psychotic breakdowns on the train, a fight on the platform… the list goes on).

A month ago, I was traveling back to Brooklyn from Manhattan with my boyfriend and I saw what appeared to be a homeless man, robbing another homeless man, who was either dead or hopefully just knocked out on drugs and in a wheelchair. I have seen junkies shooting up heroin on the stairs of subway stations at 5pm, making no effort to hide what they’re doing and had to step around them to exit the station. There are no cops to be seen anywhere these days. There used to be officers randomly patrolling the subway stations at all hours of the day – but especially the busy stations (Union Square, 34th Street, 42nd Street/Times Square) and especially during rush hour. Now? I never see a single officer. Like who would I even report what I saw to (in the case of the dead/drugged up homeless guy)? Who would I scream to for help if someone tried to assault me?

I’m not even scared to ride the subways because of COVID. I’m scared because of the lack of people, and the growing increase of subway violence. Just a couple of weeks ago, some guy was punching/beating up women at a subway station in Bushwick, not too far from my house. The attacks were happening around 8pm… a perfectly acceptable time for a woman to be riding the subway alone. Not that that should even be a FUCKING THING – “an acceptable time” for a woman to ride the subway….. Women should be able to safely ride the subway at any time of the day or night by themselves and be and feel safe. What I’m trying to say, is that it’s not like the attacks happened at an off-hour, like 2am. After six different women got attacked by the same dude and at the same station, they finally caught this asshole. I hope he stays in jail for a long time and doesn’t get released back onto the streets because of COVID. I never thought I’d have to anxiously wait up for my boyfriend every weekend when he comes home from work, alone, at 11pm and on the train. But I do worry – it’s fucking dangerous out there. We both have pepper spray key chains now, but I’m not sure what good that will do if a psycho with a machete shows up in your subway care and no one else is there but you and him.

There are straight-up tent cities/homeless compounds sprouting up everywhere – under the BQE (Brooklyn-Queens Expressway), on sidewalks, wherever. The trash removal and city cleaners have all experienced cutbacks, so there are just piles of trash and litter EVERYWHERE. I’m honestly not sure how the MTA is even going to survive since no one is riding it, apart from a few essential workers. The city is in legit shambles. SoHo, the mecca of tourist shopping, is also ghost town USA. More than half the stores are gone and the spaces remain empty with “For Rent” signs in them. I honestly don’t know how the city will ever recover from this. I don’t think it can.

And if all of what I’m saying here has you thinking about the rebuke Jerry Seinfeld wrote in the NYTimes regarding New York NOT being dead, I’m pretty sure that mega rich asshole wrote that think-piece from his multi-million dollar estate in the Hamptons… not sitting inside his NYC townhouse while trash bags piled up on the side walk and a homeless person took a dump on the sidewalk. Furthermore, unless you currently still live here, you have no fucking say.

I’m convinced all of the people who left have most likely realized they’re much happier wherever they went to – paying less rent, lower prices for groceries, people are pretty much nicer and more friendly everywhere else, and enjoying all that fresh air and more space. The only reason I ever came to NYC was for the job opportunities, culture, and nightlife. Now, that’s all gone. Why would I continue to live here as long as I can keep working remotely for the same company? Why would I choose to pay $2,350 a month for a 1 bdrm. apartment in a crappy neighborhood, when I could be putting that down on a mortgage for what is essentially a mini-mansion anywhere else in the country? Paying $20 for a fucking cocktail I can get for $9 anywhere else in the country? So I can have bragging rights that I live in NYC? I don’t think so….

Anyhow, darling, this blog has totally evolved from the food blog it was once supposed to be. So, on that note, here is my recipe for mushroom carbonara (vegetarian, but not vegan):

MUSHROOM CARBONARA

INGREDIENTS:

  • 1/3 cup olive oil (plus 2 TBS. more to finish)
  • 3 Portobello mushrooms
  • 3 eggs (I try to buy my eggs directly from a farm where I can see the chickens in action – I know this isn’t a possibility if you don’t live near any small farms, but please splurge on your eggs, and at the very least please make sure they come from cage-free, free-range, humanely raised chickens)
  • Linguini or spaghetti
  • Fresh basil (finely chopped)
  • Fresh parsley (finely chopped)
  • 1/2 small white or yellow onion (finely minced)
  • 4 cloves of garlic (finely minced)
  • 1 cup of good-quality Parmigiano-Reggiano (finely grated)
  • 1 lemon
  • 1-2 tsp. dried oregano
  • 1/2 tsp. Smoked paprika (*optional* – adds a nice smokey flavor, similar to bacon)
  • Salt and black pepper
  • 1/3 cup pasta water (taken from the pot of boiling pasta, when it’s almost finished cooking)

DIRECTIONS:

  1. Wash and chop your mushrooms and set aside; finely chop onion and garlic
  2. Heat olive oil over low heat in a medium-sized sauce pan, and add in finely chopped onion; stir occasionally over low heat until soft and translucent
  3. Once onion is soft and starting to yellow, add in the garlic and cook for another minute or so, being careful garlic does not burn
  4. Add in the chopped mushrooms, dried oregano, salt, pepper, a generous pinch of smoked paprika, and cook over low-medium heat for about 10-12 minutes or until mushrooms are thoroughly cooked
  5. Add in the chopped basil, cover, and turn heat to lowest setting (or off if your stove runs hot and will continue to cook)
  6. Prepare large pot of water (heavily salted) for pasta, but setting on high-heat and bringing to a boil
  7. While you wait for the pasta water to boil, beat together the three eggs, 1/2 cup Parmigiano, and juice from 1 lemon until you have a thick, rich “sauce”. Set aside
  8. Once the water is boiling, cook your pasta per the timing directions on the box (you’ll want it to be al dente)
  9. While the pasta is cooking, I will usually turn the heat back onto low (if I turned it off) to make sure the mushroom mixture stays warm; this is also when you want to use a ladle or measuring cup to extract and set aside 1/3 cup of the pasta water
  10. Drain pasta once it is done cooking, and then add it back into pot along with some extra olive oil, egg mixture, 1/3 cup of the reserved pasta water, an additional 1/3 cup of grated Parmigiano, and the chopped parsley
  11. You’ll want to taste-test now, to see if more pepper, salt, or fresh lemon might be necessary
  12. Mix together until the pasta is well coated and mushroom mix is uniformly distributed, and serve topped with an extra sprinkle of parm and fresh parsley!

Cheers.

Butternut Squash: Thai Curry Style

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Thai-style red curry, with butternut squash used as the base… recipe to follow below

It’s Thursday night, which means I’ve just about reached my peak, maximum exhaustion level for the week (actually, the real pinnacle is usually Friday night after work… that’s when I really crash and burn…).  I used to hear my mom say it, but Goddamn…. “there just aren’t enough hours in the day.” Seriously.  I never even give myself enough time to unwind, exercise, sleep more than 6 hours a night, or even write this shitty blog, and I STILL don’t have enough time to do everything I want to do in a day (cleaning, exercising, writing, etc.). Work and chores and errands and taking care of the apartment, my cats, and everyone-but-myself seems to never end, and this is life without human children!  I think I’ve been living in a state of perpetual exhaustion for the past three years, and it shows.  I really need to start taking better care of myself, because these bags under my eyes are not cool.  I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, I feel like working a 9-5 office job has aged me way more than the irregular hours and sleep schedule I kept as a server or working retail ever did.  At least then I seemed to be getting 7-8 hours of sleep each night.

Thank god tomorrow is Friday so I can sleep in the following day.  I’ve turned into a drone who lives for the weekend… FML. Work was absolutely brutal last week – I was doing like 10 hour days and coming in early so I could avoid staying late each night, but that also means working through my lunch breaks instead of getting out for a walk and some fresh air.  I fucking HATE sitting at a desk all day and not having time to walk or exercise.  I feel like such shit about myself and my body when I am not moving or walking and still eating a ton of food. Some might think I’m joking, but I am definitely asking for a desk elliptical for Christmas this year.  I think it will give me a better quality of life LOL.

I’m already thinking about Halloween and trying to make plans in advance so that I don’t end up staying in again.  I always have the best costume put together, and the last couple of years I haven’t even worn it out.  Such a shame! I love Halloween and dressing up and making costumes…. I live for that shit.

This year’s inspo ^^^ I dressed up as MM once before and it was one of the years I didn’t end up going out.   This year, I’m going all out….come hell or high water.

Anyhow… here is my recipe for a “Thai-style” aka, white-people, bastardized-version of curry, made with butternut squash:

 

A couple of notes:

  • Be careful cutting the squash, they’re really firm and you risk the knife slipping out and towards you if you aren’t careful
  • This is kind of time consuming since the squash takes a full hour just to cook in the oven, so you may want to prep the sauce/squash a day before you assemble the actual curry….

INGREDIENTS:

A variety of veggies of your choice (below is what I used):

  • 1 medium-sized butternut squash
  • 1 green zucchini, chopped into bite-size chunks
  • 1 red pepper, cut into strips
  • 1 green (bell) pepper, cut into strips
  • 1 can of baby corn
  • 1 can of bamboo shoots
  • 1 package of extra-firm tofu, cubed
  • 1 small jar of red curry paste (Thai Kitchen brand is great and sold most places)
  • 1 can coconut milk
  • 1 box vegetable stock
  • 3 Tablespoons yellow curry powder
  • 1 Tablespoon turmeric
  • 2 tsp. granulated garlic
  • 1 tsp. cayenne pepper (more or less depending on desired level of spicy)
  • 1 tsp. red pepper flakes (more or less depending on desired level of spicy)
  • 1-2 limes (*the JUICE from 1-2 limes)
  • 1 bunch of fresh thai basil, or regular fresh basil
  • 2 Tablespoons fish sauce (*** OPTIONAL *** I’ve used in curries before, but I did not use in this one)
  • 3 cloves minced garlic
  • 2 Tablespoons vegetable oil
  • Cooked white rice to serve (Basmati or jasmine work best)

DIRECTIONS:

  1. Heat the oven to 400 degrees.
  2. Cut the butternut squash in half length-wise (*** please do this carefully – it cuts with difficulty and you risk slicing yourself or the knife coming out if you’re not careful); gut the seeds and stringy pulp out from the center of your squash by scooping it out with a spoon.
  3. Roast the squash at 400 degrees for 1 hour… test with a fork to see if tender:

 

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The finished squash… yours more take more or less time depending on the size.  Note the fork marks where I tested to see that it was soft enough to blend!

1.

 

 

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Behold: the raw butternut squash

A couple of notes:

  • Be careful cutting the squash, they’re really firm and you risk the knife slipping out and towards you if you aren’t careful
  • This is kind of time consuming since the squash takes a full hour just to cook in the oven, so you may want to prep the sauce/squash a day before you assemble the actual curry….

INGREDIENTS:

A variety of veggies of your choice (below is what I used):

  • 1 medium-sized butternut squash
  • 1 green zucchini, chopped into bite-size chunks
  • 1 red pepper, cut into strips
  • 1 green (bell) pepper, cut into strips
  • 1 can of baby corn
  • 1 can of bamboo shoots
  • 1 package of extra-firm tofu, cubed (OR… raw, peeled shrimp, OR…. sliced chicken breast, etc.)
  • 1 small jar of red curry paste (Thai Kitchen brand is great and sold most places)
  • 1 can coconut milk
  • 1 box vegetable stock
  • 3 Tablespoons yellow curry powder
  • 1 Tablespoon turmeric
  • 2 tsp. granulated garlic
  • 1 tsp. cayenne pepper (more or less depending on desired level of spicy)
  • 1 tsp. red pepper flakes (more or less depending on desired level of spicy)
  • 1-2 limes (*the JUICE from 1-2 limes)
  • 1 bunch of fresh thai basil, or regular fresh basil
  • 2 Tablespoons fish sauce (*** OPTIONAL *** I’ve used in curries before, but I did not use in this one)
  • 3 cloves minced garlic
  • 2 Tablespoons vegetable oil
  • Cooked white rice to serve (Basmati or jasmine work best)

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Your squash will need to roast 50-60 minutes depending on its size…. notice the fork marks where I tested to see that this was cooked through!

DIRECTIONS:

  1. Heat the oven to 400 degrees.
  2. Cut the butternut squash in half length-wise (*** please do this carefully – it cuts with difficulty and you risk slicing yourself or the knife coming out if you’re not careful); gut the seeds and stringy pulp out from the center of your squash by scooping it out with a spoon.
  3. Put the squash face-up on a roasting pan, and rub the face-up side with olive oil; roast the squash at 400 degrees for 1 hour… test with a fork to see if tender:
  4. Once the squash has cooled down enough to handle, use a spoon to scoop out the orange fleshy part into a blender or food processor.
  5. Add in about 2 cups of the veggie stock or enough liquid that blending will be possible (I know my blender has issues mixing everything if there isn’t enough liquid).
  6. Once you’ve blended the squash to a creamy and uniform texture, dump the mixture from the blender into a large saucepan or soup pan/pot and turn the burner to a low heat.
  7. Add in the entire jar of red curry paste and the entire can of coconut milk.
  8. Add in your spices (granulated garlic, turmeric, curry powder, red pepper, cayenne, etc.)
  9. You’ll most likely need to add more veggie stock at this point, as the curry will be way too thick.  My squash was huge, and therefore resulted in a lot of curry once it was blended…. the mixture was way too thick and I ended up adding the rest of my veggie stock.
  10. The curry sauce should be a nice, thick consistency, but still viscous in nature…. it should not be straight-up puree, nor should it be too soupy and watery.
  11. Add in the lime juice, the fish sauce (if you opted to use it), salt to taste, more pepper or seasoning as necessary, and some hand-shredded basil leaves (a nice handful).
  12. Remove the sauce from the heat and set aside or put in the fridge if you’re planning to use later.
  13. In a wok or large sauce pan, heat the vegetable oil over a low heat and get your fresh chopped veggies and minced garlic on deck (the canned veggies, like the corn and bamboo shoots, do NOT need to be sauteed with the raw veggies)
  14. You’ll want to sautee your veggies and garlic at a medium heat for only a few minutes, as they will finish cooking in the curry sauce and you DO NOT WANT THEM to be over cooked and soggy (gross).
  15. Once you’ve sauteed the veggies and garlic, add in the curry sauce and continue to cook over a low heat.
  16. This is the point where you can add in whatever canned veggies you’re using, like the baby corn and bamboo shoots, as well as the TOFU.
  17. Taste the sauce and add more seasoning to suit your tastes (you may want to make it hotter with more pepper, add a bit more salt, or a bit more lime juice for some zing).
  18. Serve over cooked rice and garnish with a bit of fresh basil!

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The curry sauce – the squash has been blended with liquid at this point, and simmering on the stove with the addition of all of the seasonings, paste, coconut milk, and more veggie stock… you might want to roast the squash/make the sauce a day in advance since it’s very time consuming

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This one was a hit… I will definitely be making this, or variations of this, throughout the coming colder months!  Apart from the coconut milk, it’s also pretty healthy 😀  Or, at least that’s what I told myself after eating half a wok….

 

 

Avoiding Taxes, Beets, and The Best Vodka Sauce You’ll Ever Have

Here I am, yet again…. avoiding my taxes like the bubonic plague…. 😀 After I write this blog post, I’m really going to try to make myself finish them – no matter how devastating the outcome.  Time to face reality….

I had a most relaxing day yesterday, as one is wont to do on a Sunday.  I found a new wine bar that’s so amazing – they have way better pricing than most wine bars do ($9 – $13 a glass as opposed to the typical $13 – $18), a great tasting menu (I had a cheese plate), and the bar was super cozy with a real stone fireplace, which I was lucky enough to sit right in front of. Major score on my part.  The place is called Black Mountain Wine House, and despite being about a 15 minute drive from my apartment, was totally worth it. If you live in Brooklyn, I highly suggest.

The fireplace in the wine bar was super hot and cozy and made me reflect on Panther Room (the side room of Output, which closed forever a couple of months ago).  I used to love going to Panther room on a Sunday night when I had Monday off and getting all kinds of funked up and then sitting in front of their fireplace… it was so perfect in the winter.  I will always hold a special place in my heart for Panther Room and all the good times I had there… I digress….

So nostalgic right now… ❤ (sigh)

Moving on.  I have recently become obsessed with beets.  I really love foods with earthy (aka ‘dirt’) flavors, hence my love of anything with truffles, mushrooms, super rank cheeses, and BEETS.  Lately, I’ve been cooking them once every couple of weeks. They pair so well with goat cheese, and also sour cream and dill – you can use them in a hearty winter salad, or as a main in a thick-ass borscht.

This weekend, I prepared beets for a salad with (you guessed it) GOAT CHEESE.  A match made in heaven – right up there with peanut butter and jelly.  I know… I get it – beets aren’t everyone’s cup of tea.  But this recipe is simple, healthy, and could honestly be made into a main meal if you want to add some hot lentils or quinoa to make the salad a main dish!

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Beets aren’t just tasty – they’re packed with nutrients and such a pretty color – just be careful and don’t wear white while cooking them!

When you buy fresh beets, you’ll want to first trim off the beet greens (the leafy stems) as well as any root portion growing out the end of the beet.  Next, while they’re raw, use a vegetable peeler and peel the beet all the way around.  Give the beets a final rinse in cold water just to make sure any dirt is rinsed away (they are a root vegetable, after all).  In order to ensure the beets cook faster and evenly (since a bunch of beets usually includes beets of differentiating sizes), quarter or cut them in half depending on their size.

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The peeled, cleaned, and still raw beets… yes, the vodka you see is for the vodka sauce I also made that day.. and yes, it is 50 Cent’s brand… I love me some 50 cent (Candy Shop, anyone?)

 

 

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Quel Couleur! Boil the beets until you can easily penetrate (hahaha… penetrate …) them with a fork. Usually about 25 minutes.

Boil the beets in some salted water for about 20-25 minutes, at a rolling boil.  Stab them with the tines of a fork to make sure they’re cooked through before removing from heat.

Baby spinach or baby kale pairs best with beets….beets are definitely not a good mix with romaine or iceburg lettuce (and lord knows I really actually prefer romaine to spinach or kale …).  Then of course, the goat cheese is essential – any time you add cheese, nuts, beans or any sort of protein to a salad it becomes more than a salad… it becomes worthy of meal status… this is great if you’re trying to be healthy but also want to feel full.

I also threw in some pine nuts, which really complimented the beets, goat cheese and spinach.  Cherry/grape tomatoes go well with just about anything (apart from blue cheese… the acids from the blue cheese and tomatoes do NOT mix… take my word), so I threw some of those in, and then drizzled with olive oil, balsamic vinegar reduction, and sprinkled with freshly ground salt and pepper.

In the past, I have found thinly-sliced, green apples really pair well with beets and goat cheese, as well as walnuts – but this is more of a summer salad to me.  As I previously mentioned, you can very well make this salad into a meal by adding some cooked lentils or quinoa.

Now for the main attraction:

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Turkey meatballs in homemade vodka sauce… you can also use beef/pork or lentil (vegetarian) meatballs… I am going to make the lentil ballz later this week and will post a recipe for them then…it’s been too long since I’ve made them (really time consuming, but worth the effort if you don’t eat meat!)

The vodka sauce – yet another example of bastardized Italian food.  Vodka sauce is uniquely Italian-American… doesn’t exist in Italy, only in America.  But if you’ve had it, you’ll know it’s fucking amazing:

INGREDIENTS (for the vodka sauce):

  • 1 cup vodka (can be cheap vodka – the alcohol cooks out regardless)
  • 1 large can crushed tomatoes (preferably San Marzano) (28 oz.)
  • 1 tiny can tomato paste (6 oz.)
  • 1/2 Spanish (yellow) onion, finely minced
  • 4 cloves garlic, finely minced
  • 3 Tbs. olive oil
  • 2 Tbs. butter
  • 1 cup finely grated Parmigiano Reggiano (aka Paremsan)
  • 3/4 cup heavy cream
  • 1 tsp. granulated sugar
  • 1 tsp. crushed red pepper flakes
  • 1 tsp. dried oregano flakes
  • 1 tsp. dried basil flakes
  • Salt and pepper to taste
  • 3 Tbs. finely chopped fresh parsley

DIRECTIONS (for the vodka sauce):

  • Heat the oil over low heat, and add in the minced onions – cook about 5 minutes, stirring occasionally, until onions are translucent and cooked through.
  • Add in the minced garlic AND the red pepper flakes.   Cook another 2-3 minutes over low heat, stirring occasionally and being careful not to burn garlic.
  • Add in the can of crushed tomatoes, stir and increase the heat to medium.
  • Add in the vodka and continue to stir for another minute.
  • Add in the can of tomato paste, and stir thoroughly.

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  • Add in all of the seasonings (basil, oregano, sugar, salt, pepper)
  • Taste test the sauce to see if it needs more seasoning… add as necessary
  • Add in the heavy cream and reduce to low heat. Sauce should be a nice orange color after adding the cream
  • Add in the grated Parmesan cheese AND the chopped parsley, and stir until incorporated
  • Add in the butter (this can be optional – it gives the sauce an extra richness)

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This sauce is perfect to serve as is with the pasta of your choice after completing the above steps.

If you want to make a heartier meal, go ahead and make the ballz too.  In this case, I used turkey meat (recipe for vegetarian ballz coming up this week…).

INGREDIENTS (for Ballz):

  • One package (1.3 lbs) turkey meat (93% lean, 7% fat)
  • 1 large egg
  • 1 cup panko bread crumbs
  • 1/2 cup finely grated Pecorino Romano or Parmesano
  • 1 tsp. onion powder
  • 1 tsp. granulated garlic
  • 1 tsp. dried basil
  • 1 tsp. dried oregano
  • 1 and 1/2 tsp. salt
  • 1 tsp. black pepper
  • 2 Tbs. mayonnaise
  • 2 Tbs. chopped parsley
  • Dash of worcestershire sauce
  • *** more bread crumbs if too soft when you attempt to roll into ball

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DIRECTIONS (for Ballz): 

  • Add all ingredients listed above together in a large bowl, and mix thoroughly with your hands (yes, your hands… don’t be a pu$$y – a spoon isn’t gonna work)
  • Turn the pasta sauce to a medium heat – you’re going to cook the ballz directly in the sauce this time!  (it keeps them so tender and moist)
  • Once all ingredients are mixed together, grab a chunk of the mixture at a time and roll into a small ball (or large, if that’s how you likey…. 😉   )
  • Drop the ballz as you make them into the hot vodka sauce
  • Keep making and dropping ballz into saucepan until you’ve used up all of the meat mixture
  • Stir EVER SO GENTLY with a wooden spoon or rubber spatula, so as not to fuck your ballz up and massacre them (gently rotate them around the hot saucepan)
  • Cook on low-medium heat for 15-20 minutes
  • Serve finished ballz and sauce over pasta or polenta (or if you’re on a “diet,” without either)

 

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Ballz baby

Yeah… definitely not doing my taxes now.  Oh well.  I should just pull an Anthony Bourdain and not file my taxes for years … except unlike Anthony Bourdain (God rest his soul), I will never get rich and be able to pay them off in a major lump sum someday after neglecting them for 10 years running.