Tag: cooking

Time is Flying: Dinner Ideas for Hot as H*ll Summer Nights

It’s already the middle of July, and Summer is half over. The Korn concert I’ve been looking forward to is a month away, and our vacation to Italy and France is less than two months away. Time really flies by when your sights are set on the future and you forget to live in the present. Although it is sometimes difficult to live in the present when every day is the same as the last, and you spend the majority of your time working, running the household, and making plans for a much more exciting and enticing future event. It always seems that the fun things you have planned will never come to fruition when you’re in the thick of it – slaving away at a job that barely makes ends meet, running the daily gamut of errands, chores, housework, and daily activities that are anything but relaxing or fun. Alas, one day you blink your eye and an entire month has passed and the thing you looked forward to for what seems like forever, is happening in three days! That is always how it goes.

Speaking of time flying by, my niece just turned nine last week, my dad is turning 70 next month, and I am officially looking like a middle-aged adult at the age of 33. It’s funny (no, it’s really not…), but I feel like I woke up one day just looking old. They say that you’re as young as you feel – I feel like I should still look 26 in that case. I don’t know if it was the stress from 2020 or what it was, but I used to look young for my age, and now I am convinced I look five years older than I actually am… and it really seems to have happened overnight. All I can keep thinking of is the Hemingway quote from The Sun Also Rises, in regards to my rapidly aged appearance: “gradually, then suddenly.” In the book, that line is in response to someone asking the character how he went bankrupt, and his answer is “gradually, then suddenly.” However, this line is eerily spot-on when it comes to how I’ve ended up here – looking old overnight, with fine lines that seemingly came out of nowhere. How did I go from looking younger than my age to how I look right now? I’ll tell you how: gradually, then suddenly.

Sure, there were subtle signs here and there that I was getting older over the last 10 years or so. My skin texture changed and became rougher, I lost some baby fat in my cheeks, I don’t look so hot waking up the morning after a night of drinking or no sleep anymore, unlike my early twenties when I looked just fine the next day. Then, before I knew it, suddenly the fat pads under my eyes seemed to all but hollow out (now, when I smile, I get huge bags under my eyes that make me look like my 73 year old uncle), my forehead suddenly has horizontal lines that don’t go away, even when my face is relaxed, I’m losing volume in my lips and cheeks, and I just kind of always look tired (even on the RARE occasion when I actually got a full 8 hours of sleep…).

I’m not trying to complain (even though it is most definitely coming across that way right now). I generally like the way I look, but fucking shit! I feel like I went from looking 27 to looking 36 in a year’s time. Things have gotten so bad, that I have vowed to quit drinking and partying altogether in order to save up for botox and a laser treatment. I am not even joking – it makes way more sense to stop squandering money I already don’t have on shit that makes my life worse off in the long run. Every time I want to buy wine, go out for cocktails, or spend a night at a rave abusing my body with mind-altering substances, I am going to take that $50 or $100 or $200 that I would normally blow on crap, and put it into a savings jar for future cosmetic procedures. I probably should have started doing this two years ago…

I have also vowed to start exfoliating every day, which up until this week when I decided I want botox, was not something I did regularly. It will be way easier to complete step 2 (exfoliating), since I will also being doing step 1 (abstaining from alcohol), which as we all know, makes a person very lazy when it comes to nightly skin care routines.

It’s been really hard to save money lately, not only because I live in NYC and a large chunk of my salary goes towards monthly rent and the cost of living, but because I feel like every month there is a birthday, holiday, etc. that I end up spending what would otherwise be my discretionary income on. Seriously – I feel like I rarely spend money on myself, and when I do, it’s Forever21 clothes because that is the only thing I can financially justify. I feel like I’m always spending money that could be put into my savings on family member’s birthday’s, dinners out to celebrate said family member’s birthdays, my cats’ expensive prescription food, or the occasional night where I actually go out and be social (which is maybe twice a month, but I always go all out, since I don’t go out often and probably feel the need to make up for lost time). It sucks – I need more money. Plain and simple. At this rate, I’ll never be able to save for a house or a move across the Atlantic. I can’t even save for a fucking botox consultation at this rate!

I kind of feel like I went a bit overboard in my last entry on here. I was feeling pretty feisty when I wrote it, after a 45 hour work week and a bunch of other factors that contributed to my higher-than usual stress level. I hope no one reading this was offended (I don’t know why anyone would be, but you never know). I feel bad I bitched about the endless saga of the stray cats I helped rescue and get off the streets. Things have finally calmed down. I actually fed one of the cats while her owner was away for the weekend (that’s the more feral of the two, that was adopted by their long-time feeder). And, thankfully, the older cat (who currently has a foster mom) is doing much, MUCH better. She uses her litter box like pro now, and finally has been granted free reign of the apartment, as she is getting along better with the other resident-foster cat, and stopped trying to climb walls and windows!

I’m sure everyone reading this will understand how stressful life can get at times, since it gets that way for all of us, but it always seems to be that one last straw that breaks the camel’s back. I was just barely holding my shit together, working a crazy work week, NOT getting out for exercise or fresh air (which is even more important for me to do during a crazy work week), and feeling sorry for myself because everyone I am close to hasn’t worked for the past year and a half and they all get to go to the beach and take naps during the weekdays, while I’m stuck in front of my laptop. I was also feeling sorry for myself, because my boyfriend and I are like two ships passing in the night. We don’t have weekends together, evenings together (we eat our dinners alone, at separate times), we rarely have holidays together, his job keeps him from attending every family get-together and birthday I celebrate with my family upstate, and we have opposite schedules so we are both always tired – him because he works 12 hour days, 6 days a week, and me, because I either wait up until midnight each night so I can see him for an hour before falling asleep, or because my sleep is interrupted when he gets home from work at 2am and I’m already asleep on the couch. Now that I’m writing this, this is probably why I’ve been looking so old lately… stress and lack of fucking sleep.

I also started feeling sorry for myself, because everyone else I know seems to be getting married, buying a house, or having a baby (not that I want a baby, but still….) and humble-bragging about it on Instagram. This, in turn, led to feelings of being fucked over, because everyone else gets to have a shower thrown for them when they complete these “life milestones.” Since I’ve never completed any of these so-called “milestones”, I’m always the one buying the gift for said shower, and never the one BEING showered. I know that sounds petty, but it kind of sucks sometimes. When will it be MY turn to have people throw a party for me? When will it be my turn to create a registry and get a bunch of fucking gifts for my house, just because someone finally put a ring on my finger? I don’t know. But between 45 hours of working at a job that does not fulfill me, just to make ends meet, seeing another smug couple humble-bragging about buying a home or spending a weekend away together on social media, while I never having a single fucking weekend off with my boyfriend, and then receiving texts containing sad and upsetting news about the cats I gave my all to help, really put me over the edge. It’s OK though; I’m back on track now. I shouldn’t feel sorry for myself when I am in an able body, of sound mind (…. that’s actually debatable), in good health (as far as I know), I’m smart, funny, and I’m capable. Everything else is just crumbs.

You wanna’ know how I got these bruises? (said in manner of the Joker)… honestly? I don’t even know, but I haven’t consumed alcohol in over a week, so they certainly weren’t from getting sloppy drunk.

Speaking of being back on track, I’m also back in the office a few days a week. Yes, I know I said I would have a new job or end my life before I ended up back in the office, but here I am. There just wasn’t enough time to find something better, and I have things to live for – my new goal is a new job when I come back from my vacation in September. Bring back in the office hasn’t been bad so far, but then again, it’s only been two weeks, and a lot of people are still out, which means I don’t have to see them. It is nice to have a reason to get my ass up and into gear so early in the morning. Because I hate taking the subway so much, I’ve also motivated myself into walking to work. It’s really hard to do since it means getting up and out of my apartment much earlier, when I could just sleep an extra hour… but it’s worth it. It’s also nice getting my exercise in before the work day starts – this way, even if I get blindsided and have to work overtime, I already got out for fresh air and physical activity.

In addition to planning the itinerary of my impending vacation, at decided I needed to order a few dresses for the upcoming trip. Enter ASOS…. they have the biggest selection of clothing imaginable and a nice spectrum of pricing to accommodate every budget:

This orange tie-dye dress was my favorite out of the three dresses that I ordered. It’s a maxi, which is a style I usually avoid because I fear it makes me look even shorter than I already am. However, this one is exceptionally flattering on my upper body and the color also worked in my favor
I always avoided the color orange – this is my first article of orange clothing, and it is so complimentary to my coloring that I may need to reconsider this color in the future. P.S. Peep Tuna in the background… ha
This mumu style frock is being returned tomorrow. It always looks great on the model (of course it does – they’re always like 5’9″ or taller with chicken legs…), but it never works on my body. I had to try it anyhow, because I loved the color and the eyelet trim. Oh well, more money in my pocket I guess … all $30. LOL.
This little frock, I was very excited for. Based on the online photo and model they showed it on, I thought it would fit perfectly. It was slightly too large, however. ASOS carries a lot of styles in petite sizing, but this dress is not one of them. I considered returning it, but I’m glad I didn’t, because sizing it down was pretty easy. I had to shorten the straps, take in the waist, and take up the hem, but the material is patterned cotton, so it wasn’t too difficult to do. Just time consuming (what isn’t?).

Once again, the temperatures here in NYC have been in the high 80s/low 90s, with humidity levels upwards of 75% each day, rendering it too hot to run the oven or do much cooking in my apartment. I should just post a good salad recipe, but I don’t consider throwing together a salad a recipe. I guess in lieu of a recipe, I’ll provide a few suggestions for things I like to make or throw together when it’s too hot to turn on the oven!

Hot Weather Dinner Ideas:

  1. A hearty salad (should have a source of protein to add substance, whether it’s chick peas, tofu, chicken, fake chicken, shrimp, or another kind of bean)
  2. Taco salad
  3. Non-meat tacos (**the fake meats they have cook super fast either in a microwave or a few minutes in a saute pan, so minimal heat is required)
  4. Caprese salad
  5. Ramen (this is not a toilsome soup that’s going to keep you chained to the stove for an hour, since instant ramen cooks in like 3 minutes). I suggest adding in some fresh veggies (bok choy, mushrooms, canned baby corn), diced tofu, and if you’re not vegan, boil a hard boiled egg in the same pot you cook the ramen in.
  6. BLTs (with real or fake bacon) – also works well with avocado or smoked salmon in place of the bacon.
  7. Tomato sandwiches
  8. Grilling the entire meal (veggies, potatoes, protein) … unfortunately I don’t have this luxury since I don’t have a grill here.
I made this Cobb salad last week when it was 90 degrees using Morning Star buffalo “chicken” bites, blue cheese dressing (sorry, it’s real blue cheese), etc.
These are my fake bacon BLTs from a few weeks ago – super fast and super tasty for a weeknight dinner or lunch
These tacos were a hit! Super fast and easy to prepare since the toppings are not cooked. I just sauteed some fake meat “beef” crumbles in a saute pan, and of course the tortillas need to be toasted a bit, but it really doesn’t require much heat output at all
Instant ramen, jazzed up with fresh veggies and an egg – literally takes 5 minutes to cook. Just beware of the sodium content!!!!!

Gnocchi, Eggplant, and the Daily Grind

OK – I think I just figured out how to add a caption again..

Apparently I can’t add captions to photos anymore… either that or the ChromeBook from 2015 that I use to write these posts hasn’t allowed for whatever updates I need to write captions, due to a software upgrade. Just another aspect of my existence that’s fallen behind the times and cannot be updated due to lack of funds. It’s whatever… I’ll spend the rest of my life using my discretionary income to buy birthday presents, help street cats, and buy wedding shower gifts for people while I remain struggling and wearing clothes from Poshmark and Forever21 (remember when I vowed to stop buying fast fashion? Yeah… If I made more money, maybe I could have kept that vow). It’s a fate I’ve come to accept. This is my purpose on life… to stay poor and serve others.

I’ll never own a house, I’ll never have kids (largely because I don’t want kids, but I also can’t afford them), and probably never get married at this rate. If I do get married, I’ll be so old that I won’t even be able to wear the sexy wedding dress I always imagined myself wearing – I’ll also need a “The Swan” level makeover prior to my wedding, because in addition to already needing botox and fillers (but not being able to afford them), I’ll also most likely require a breast lift and lipo by that point in my life. I’m fucked. Fucked financially, fucked in the head… you name it.

The only things I’m currently looking forward to are a Korn concert in August, and a trip to Italy and France that we are planning for September. I will finally see my boyfriend’s parents and his friends for the first time since 2018, and I will finally see the South of France, which I’ve wanted to visit for basically forever. I’m enjoying planning this vacation… however, it means I have to be even more careful with my already-limited discretionary income. I mean I don’t go out much, but when I do it somehow ends up being a $100-$200 evening… EVERY TIME. This is probably why I now only go out once a month…. Fucking Uber prices are out of control these days. I should honestly just delete the app and take my chances being assaulted as a drunk woman on the subway next time I’m out. I spent fucking $57 on an Uber from midtown Manhattan back to Williamsburg last Saturday. I could buy a week’s groceries with that.

Can you tell I’m in a great mood today? 😀

The other thing which has become the bane of my fucking existential existence, is that I am still helping the stray cats that I already busted my ass to raise money for and help off the streets. There is literally only so much I can do as one person, without extra cash to spend on two extra cats. I hate promoting the GoFundMe I created… it feels like begging, and that is the last thing I ever wanted to do. I basically spent 9 months of my life starving (legit… starving) because I didn’t want to ask my parents for help when I was working as a server and not even making enough money to pay my rent (which was only $650 back then….). Like, if I’m not even OK asking for help when I need it myself, how do you expect me to keep asking for help for two cats that everyone now thinks are “all good” just because they’re off the streets and in homes? I do what I can… but what I can do never feels like enough. I really thought my part would be done after the cats were off the street, in homes, and had their initial vet visits… now I get daily texts about one peeing outside of the litter box and the other one hiding under the bed. I sometimes think I did more harm then good. I guess this is why you shouldn’t meddle in other people’s business. Maybe these cats were better off on the street, and for my own selfish reasons, I couldn’t bare to walk by and see them living like that. Maybe they were happier… I don’t know.

Seriously though… I’m only living for this Korn concert and trip to Europe right now. I don’t care about dinners out, parties, drinks with friends… I just need this trip to Europe with the boyfriend I basically see one day a week. I’m over everything. I need a legit vacation, and I need time off with my boyfriend and no one else.

Sunday cheese board – I don’t think we had cheese in months! I couldn’t even finish my glass of wine because I was so fucking hungover from the night before… I am literally never going out again.

I’ve given up on the goal of finding a new job before July 6th, when I have to start going back to my office in midtown 2-3 days a week, but my new goal is to have a new job lined up when I get back from my vacation in late September. I think it’s doable – I just need to find the motivation to do it. I mean, more money is my primary motivation… but it’s so hard to find time and willpower when you’re already in front of a computer for 8 hours a day for work.

Speaking of work, I had to run a collateral errand for the first time in over a year and a few months, and it was kind of nice. The client was so desperate to have someone sign pages in front of me, that they paid for a car service to pick me up in Brooklyn, drive me to two towns in Long Island, and then back to the office in Midtown. I was bitching about the absurdity of it all the night before, but it was really nice sitting in a luxury SUV for three hours, and getting paid to just ride around collecting and dropping off signature pages. I think I could do it more often….

I was feeling good about myself after styling my hair for the first time since early 2020… had to take some pics, naturally
I must have a crop top for every band I like at this point….
My zit comes back in the same place every single month…there must be some sort of underground oil well on my face there. that releases oil when the estrogen starts flowing… LOL

It has been hotter than hell in NYC this past week – about 90-91 degrees every day for the last four days with 82% humidity… absolutely foul. I know people always bitch about how they can’t wait for Summer to come when we are in Winter here. I am not one of those people. Winters here are not even that brutal, but summers sure as hell are… especially in the last several years. Global warming is increasingly evident here. Since it has been so damn hot, I have been avoiding cooking anything that involves the oven or multiple sauce pans of boiling water on the range.

Before the heatwave arrived last week, I decided to take advantage of a nice 78 degree evening we had, and make gnocchi, since it involves the oven and I wanted to make one good meal before I swore off the oven for the next five days. I based the dish I made on one that a little, Italian restaurant in Alphabet City (East Village) had, once upon a time, when they were still open.

My sister was the one who introduced me to this restaurant – I remember going when I was a student at FIT, with my sister and mom and brother-in-law. I think I also went a couple of times after that. I just looked the restaurant up, and they opened in 2000! Apparently, they’re still open and they are now located in Tribeca! Who knew!

I remember they moved to Williamsburg for a brief time in 2013 after the lower East Side location closed, and I took my boyfriend to have dinner there after raving about the place for months. Sadly, when Max existed in Williamsburg, it was not as good as I’d remembered it to be. The food was mega salty and their was a lack of ambiance and coziness that the restaurant in Manhattan had had. Anyhow, they had this amazing gnocchi dish with roasted eggplant, and their marinara sauce was to die for! I feel like I ordered that dish every time I went to the lower East Side Max. And so, having picked up two nice eggplants from the deli last week, and needing a plan for them that was NOT eggplant parm (I was not about to bread and fry shit that night… that requires a very particular mood), I decided to recreate this dish!

This is a picture of the dish, as taken from Max’s website… I cannot believe they still exist! I will definitely have to check them out in Tribeca!
If you’re not going to make homemade sauce (and I sure as hell wasn’t, since I was making homemade gnocchi!) , I highly recommend Rao’s… it’s pricey and a bit salty (if not slightly diluted) but it tastes homemade!

INGREDIENTS:

  • 1 large eggplant (or two smaller ones)
  • 1 jar of quality marinara sauce (Rao’s isVictoria brand)
  • 1 package bocconcino (mozzarella balls) **OPTIONAL
  • grated Parmigiano to top the dish, and for the gnocchi
  • fresh basil to garnish
  • olive oil
  • FOR THE GNOCCHI:
  • 2 large Idaho potatoes
  • 2 cups flour ( 1.5 will go directly into the gnocchi mix and rest is for kneading and dusting the counter top, etc)
  • 1/4 cup finely grated Parmigiano
  • 1 large egg (beaten)
  • 1 tsp. salt

DIRECTIONS:

  • Set oven to 400 degrees
  • Wash your potatoes and pierce them with a fork in several locations around the potato, rub in oil, and set on baking tray
  • Wash eggplant and cut into small cubes
  • arrange eggplant on same tray as potatoes, coat in olive oil and sprinkle with salt
  • put tray of potatoes/eggplant into oven to bake: the eggplant can come out after 20 minutes, and go into a saucepan, the potatoes need to bake about 45-50 minutes (total), so they will go back into the over after you move the eggplant to the saucepan
Sorry for these snaps from Instagram. I try to make it a pint to take regular pictures on my phone, but I often end up posting videos of the process to my Instagram stories, and then have to take screenshots for the blog!
  • After 20 minutes at 400 degrees, the eggplant will be transferred to a large saucepan on the stove, over low-medium heat (make sure the saucepan is coated with olive oil!)
  • Cook the eggplant over low heat for another 4 minutes or so, and then add in the entire jar of sauce, along with maybe 1/4 cup extra water, and continue to cook over low heat until the eggplant is very soft (it should already be fairly soft after the oven)
  • Once the potatoes are done baking (you should test by sticking a knife into the potato), slice the potatoes open length wise and let cool for a minute, or just until you’re able to handle them without burning your hands
  • once you are able to handle the hot potatoes, use a spoon to scoop out the inside of the potato into a large mixing bowl (you want to make sure you avoid getting the skin into the gnocchi mix)
  • Add in about 1/4 cup grated Parm, 1.5 cups flour, salt, and the beaten egg and mix away! (you can also add a couple tablespoons of olive oil, or even cold water, if needed!)
  • Mix all of the ingredients together to form a soft dough
  • add more flour if necessary (a bit at a time) – the dough should not be sticky or tacky
  • lightly flour the surface on which you will be rolling out the dough, flour the dough lightly and cut into four, equal sections
  • working with one section at a time, roll the dough into a rope that is about as thick as your thumb
  • Next, take a sharp knife and cute the rope into 1 inch sections that should look like little pillows
The little pillows I am referring to ^^
  • I like to lightly flour the gnocchi at this pint, before I make the fork imprints
  • after the gnocchi has been cut into these little pillows, you will use the tongs of a fork to gently imprint the top … this helps sauce stick on them, although this step can probably be skipped if you’re in a rush for time or just not feeling the extra effort
  • Set aside the finished gnocchi, onto a plate or board, where they can later easily be transferred to a pot of boiling water
  • complete these steps with the remaining three pieces of dough (don’t say I didn’t warn you – it literally takes FOREVER… this is definitely a dish to impress or show your love to someone)
My babies!
  • now that your gnocchi are waiting, start a pot of heavily salted water on high heat and bring to a boil
  • You should also turn the oven back on, to 380 degrees (you’re going to finish the dish in the oven after all ingredients have been added)
  • add in the fresh gnocchi once the water is boiling – because they are fresh, they will only take a minute or two to cook
  • you’ll know they are done, once they float to the surface of the pot
  • using a slatted spoon, scoop the gnocchi from the surface up and into the saucepan with the sauce and eggplant
  • Once the gnocchi has been added to the sauce/eggplant, you’ll want to throw in a handful of the little mozzarella balls, transfer the saucepan (as long as it doesn’t have any plastic!) directly into the oven, and bake for about 6 minutes, or until mozzarella is melted
  • Serve in a bowl and top with freshly grated parm and fresh basil for garnish
This is definitely a dish to steal a man (or woman’s) heart)

Enjoy!!!! 🙂

Update on the McKibbin Cats and a Scallop Dish to Impress

A dish to impress someone special – scallops and wild, black rice over a roasted red pepper, tomato bisque

Before I dive into the recipe for the above pictured dish, or bore you with the bullshit of my life, let me first provide an update on the two, local street cats I’ve been busting my ass to help get off the streets.

The two McKibbin Street cats that I’ve basically been working a second, full-time, non-paid job to help get off the streets… hopefully it will all be worth it

If you’ll recall from my earlier post(s), or if you follow me or my cats on Instagram, you’ll know that my current life mission has been helping these two cats that live a few streets down from me. It has honestly been more work, effort, time and emotional taxation than I initially assumed it would be – first reaching-out to, and now coordinating-with various local rescues and the cats’ long-time feeder to help them. My goal is and was to have both cats see a vet, and then be placed together with a foster, adopter, or perhaps sent to live the rest of their days in a cat sanctuary or a bucolic barn setting.

I thought that once I found a local rescue group willing to assist, my job would be over, but I’m actually doing almost all of the work. Finding a rescue group that was able and willing to help literally took about two months of back and forth Instagram messaging with upwards of five different rescues. Greenpoint Cats (@greenpoint_cats) said that they would help trap the cats, extend their rescue discount at the vet they use, and also now, they’re saying that they can also try to help find a foster or look into other placement options. This is extremely helpful, since I don’t know where to begin.

The crappy part of all of this has been the fact that it is “kitten season” – the time of year when litter after litter of homeless kittens and pregnant mothers are found on the streets, in abandoned buildings, delis, etc.. Obviously, local rescues are inundated with calls to help rescue these kittens and pregnant moms, and they’ve been taking priority – which is understandable. There have also been a lot of abandoned cats and pets that people call in and need to be rescued immediately from terrible situations; cats found in cardboard boxes or cat carriers, just left on the street scared and in their own filth, cats seen being kicked out of cars on the highway… people honestly disgust me. Don’t even get me started though…. it makes my blood boil.

Since all of these rescues are non-profit organizations, they rely on donations from people to help vet the cats they take in or find that are in need of medical assistance. I’m not sure why I assumed they’d be sitting on a pile of cash and ready to cover vet bills, but they aren’t, and so it was suggested I start a GoFundMe to help pay for these two cats’ vet bills. There is no way I make enough money to cover their expenses by myself, after all, I have two cats of my own, rent, bills and lot on my plate as is. I WISH I had funds to help random stray cats, and every other animal in need, but sadly, I do not. And so, I swallowed my pride and started a GoFundMe.

If you are reading this right now and you’ve already contributed, thank you again. Thank you, thank you, thank you – you don’t know how much I appreciate the fact that someone else cares!!! If you are reading this and you are my friend in real life and have not contributed, please do so. All I am asking for is $5 that you might otherwise spend on booze, drugs, or takeout food. I’m not asking for a large contribution, as I know everyone is struggling right now, and everyone has their own priorities (which are clearly not the same as mine). But seriously, if you consider yourself my friend, you will know how important this is to me, SO PLEASE DO SOMETHING TO HELP 🙂

DONATE NOW TO THE MCKIBBIN CATS GO FUND ME BY CLICKING HERE

Anyhow, I digress. I never realized how annoying and time consuming it would be to start and run a GoFundMe and acquiesce to asking family, friends and social media friends to contribute. It feels similar to begging, and I am not a fan. A lot of people have surprised me by donating and sharing – people I don’t even know in real life and am only friends with on Social Media. So, here is an extra thank you to them!!!! It has really warmed my heart to see how generous people you don’t even know in real life can be!!! I am truly grateful.

Coordinating with the cats’ long-time feeder has also been stressful. She means well and has already been doing a huge part by feeding these two cats over the last 6-7 years. There used to be a colony of FIVE CATS! Can you believe it??? She was the one who initially coordinated with ASPCA to have them spayed and neutered and has been feeding them twice a day, every day for the last several years. That is serious work – not to mention emotional heartache every time one of them gets sick or the weather turns bad and she cannot bring them in. Several of the cats have died over the years, and now just the two remaining girls remain – it is my goal that they can spend the last years of their lives comfortably and without worry or stress or struggle.

We have finally set a date to trap and bring them to the vet for checkups, vaccinations, etc. Both cats will be brought to the vet in DUMBO by me, on Friday, May 28th. I’m hoping that neither cat needs extensive work or treatment. I’m also praying neither cat is FeLV positive, as their feeder assumes that they are (the other cats in the colony that passed away were positive).

After we better know the condition of the cats’ health, we will be able to better understand what kind of living arrangements they will require or what would be the best option for them. No matter where they go, we want to keep them together, since they’ve been friends and each other’s support all these years on the street. Finding a foster is going to be hard since they are two older cats, one of whom is friendly and one of whom is almost feral. If you are reading this right now, and you live in the tri-state area and either you or someone you know would be happy to foster or adopt both cats, please reach out to me!!!! I would literally be willing to drive the cats upwards of 100 miles in any direction if we can find a good fit.

Anyhow, that is my update on the McKibbin cats. I’ve probably been putting in an average of 2-3 extra hours each day promoting the GoFundMe, talking to and coordinating with the rescue and the cats’ regular feeder, and thinking of ways to find these cats a home. The individuals for whom this is a full time or part-time job (working for the local animal rescue groups) do not get nearly enough praise or reward for all the good they do in this world, and I’m slowly learning how fucking hard this work is. If anyone out there helps animals in need, thank you for what you do – you’re making this world a better place and making a huge difference in their lives.

I finally spent some quality time with my boyfriend last week – not only was he off on Tuesday night, but he was off *some* of the day on Sunday… hallelujah
If you know me, you know I love disco balls: this is from the lobby of 55 Water Street, Brooklyn

My boyfriend was off on Tuesday night last week, and we were able to get in to one of our favorite places for dinner: Cecconi’s DUMBO! What a treat! We hadn’t been in a couple of years, I think – the last time was definitely before Corona times.

The restaurant is so romantic – beautiful, dark, classic and cozy. The perfect spot for a dinner date, or for a small family dinner. I really need to bring my parents here next time they visit. The food was great as always – cooked to perfection (or, not cooked, in the case of the salmon tartare), and the cocktail I had was delicious. Needless to say, I am looking forward to next time! The building that the restaurant is in (55 Water Street), is also really cool – there are some fun shops and now the building has an accessible rooftop!

I’m always trying to capture the mood of a place when I snap a picture like this, and I always fail miserably. Please google pictures of this place – you’ll want to go. The bar is huge and beautiful, they have low-lit chandeliers, velvet chairs, and windows looking out onto a patio and the Brooklyn Bridge.

My boyfriend was “partially” off on Sunday, which is definitely better than the usual 14-hour, 12pm – 1:30am shift he has been doing for the last 4 months. Sunday used to be our day off – the only FULL day off we both had – where neither him nor myself was working. I really miss being able to go out late on Saturdays, sleep in late on Sundays, and take a drive together or do something productive with our day together. Alas, we still had to go into Elsie for several hours this past Sunday, but I got a couple drinks out of it, so I’m not complaining. I also got to check out the new rooftop he helped open, the Glass Ceiling Nomad.

View from the outside terrace at Glass Ceiling Nomad – this was taken right before it started raining… luckily it stopped after an hour.

After we left Elsie, we enjoyed a late and quiet dinner at my favorite Brooklyn/Williamsburg sushi (Japanese Tapas, rather) spot of all time: Bozu.

Bozu is a Williamsburg institution – the place has been open since 2004, before all of the yuppies, wall street douche bags, trust-fund-wanna-be-artists, celebrities and models invaded North Williamsburg and ruined its vibe.

It’s technically a “Japanese tapas” place, but they are known for their sushi bombs (“partyboms” on the menu), which do not disappoint and which I order EVERY SINGLE TIME I eat here. I’ve been going here since 2008. I FUCKING love this place, although right now, they have a limited drink menu. I’ve really been missing that lychee martini and the blood orange cocktail they used to make.

They do still have their tofu salad, which is made with silky tofu they make in-house, and some delicious zucchini that’s been marinated in a soy based dressing. I truly hope this place stays open forever. It’s one of my favorites and holds a special place in my heart. Honestly, the prices are not bad either. The partybomb comes with 12 huge pieces of sushi and is pretty filling for two people to share along with a couple of appetizers thrown in!

Clearly I was a bit buzzed when I snapped this photo on the way out of Bozu. LOL. I only had a glass of wine with dinner, but I’d had a few drinks over the course of the afternoon while I was waiting for my BF

Yeah, yeah, yeah – I know what you’re thinking after reading this caption: that I said I was done drinking. I totally am! On WEEKDAYS. I’ve realized that I feel a lot healthier, mentally stable, and productive just by avoiding alcohol Monday – Thursday. I’m not going to go cold-turkey on weekends – it’s just too difficult and restrictive. I cannot imagine going to a rooftop or a restaurant and not allowing myself one or two drinks. I mean, WTF??? Unless someone has a serious problem abusing alcohol or they are totally allergic (which, by the way, I think I am at this stage in my life… oh well) I don’t see why they need to restrict themselves to the point of a total teetotaler.

I’m still trying to walk a certain number of miles each day (2-3 is my weekday goal) and do basic floor exercises at home. I feel so much better emotionally, mentally, and physically when I am not completely sedentary in front of my work laptop and iphone all day. It just isn’t healthy to NOT be moving. In order to encourage and motivate myself to work out, I invested in an adorable new workout outfit:

Not only am I obsessed with the colors and how perfectly this hand-dyed ensemble fits me, but it also smells HEAVENLY. You can check out her Etsy shop here:

SUNSHINE HONEY EARTH – the perfect shop to find a hand-dyed gift for someone special or just for yourself! She also makes hand-dyed cloth towels, lounge sets, etc.

The colors are so fun – and I usually don’t do colors… but for workout wear? Hell yes.

In other news, we are slated to go back to the office on July 6th. If you know me, you probably know I’d rather die than go back to the office, that is not an exaggeration. I really need to start looking for another job, because I refuse to go back to the office. Life has been so good without the addition of 2 hours added onto each workday, spent in transit and riding the disgusting, fucking subway.

In fact, the subway is still so dangerous, I am not even comfortable riding it twice daily, 3-5 days a week. There are still slashings happening every single day in the subway and on the subway platforms, and they happen during broad daylight. Does my company really want to put hundreds of commuters at risk by exposing them to that?

Not only am I totally against riding the subway twice daily for the purposes of work, but I honestly do not know how I got things done when I had to spend 7+ hours of each day sitting in my Manhattan office, and the extra 2 hours running to and from and riding trains to go there and then go back home again. I still average only 6.5 hours of sleep a night (on a good night), because there is just so much to do in a 24-hour day. I’m writing this at 12:30 am right now, because by the time I finished taking care of everything I needed to tonight, it was 10:30 pm.

I don’t know how I managed to look after and care for my cats, keep a clean apartment, run errands and pick up groceries, cook dinner, take care of myself, have any sort of discretionary free time to write, etc., and manage to sleep at least 6 hours a night when I was commuting and working in the office. No wonder I was burnt out all the time and frazzled. I don’t know how I did it all before, and I honestly do not want to go back to that stressful lifestyle. The best thing about working from home has been the extra hour of sleep each morning, being able to run an errand or grab groceries when work is slow for 30 minutes, exercising on my floor when work is slow for a few minutes, and just doing all of the other shit I used to have to wait until 6:30 pm to do each night after I finally got home from work. FUCK THAT. I’ll do whatever it takes to never go back to that office…

Anyhow, I digress…..

Now that you’re all caught up with the cat situation and on my relatively boring existence, here is the recipe you’ve been waiting for. This is the perfect meal to cook for someone special, someone you’re trying to impress, or just for yourself because you have time on your hands and you deserve it! This is also my least favorite part of every blog, because despite the fact that I live for cooking, writing out a recipe and directions is really tedious and boring.

INGREDIENTS:

  • 1 pound of fresh or frozen sea scallops
  • 2 cloves of garlic, peeled and smashed
  • 1/4 cup olive oil
  • 3 TBS butter
  • 1 large red pepper
  • 1 small can tomato paste
  • 1 bottle of dry white wine or rose (you’ll need 1 cup for the rice, and 1/2 cup for the bisque)
  • 1 box seafood stock, or bottle of clam juice
  • 1.5 cups of wild, black rice
  • 2 cups of chicken (or vegetarian – chicken) stock** I make mine using “Better Than Bouillon” “No-chicken base,” but boxed stock works just as well
  • large dollop of sour cream or a few Tbs. of heavy cream
  • Freshly chopped chives (to garnish)
  • sprinkle of cayenne pepper
  • salt and pepper to taste

DIRECTIONS:

  • *If you DO NOT have a gas-burning range, you’ll need to start with the roasted red pepper in the oven: heat oven to 400 degrees, brush pepper in olive oil, and roast pepper for 20 minutes on one side, before flipping to the other side and roasting for another 20 minutes.** Set pepper aside once roasted.
  • In a medium sauce pan, heat the olive oil over low heat
  • Peel and smash the two cloves of garlic and place into the pot of oil, cooking for a minute and stirring occasionally
  • Add in the dry rice, and coat with oil, cooking over low heat and stirring for two minutes, raise the temperature of the burner to medium
This rice is full of fiber and has a nice flavor and aesthetic, but it takes a full hour to cook
I prepare this rice the same way I would a risotto, adding a cup full of liquid at a time, however, I cook most of the moisture out when all is said and done, so it isn’t as wet as a risotto would be
  • Add 1 cup of wine and stir, cover and let cook for about 1 minute
  • Reduce heat back to low, and add in 2 cups of the clam juice (or seafood stock); stir and cover until most of the liquid has been absorbed, checking on the rice and stirring occasionally to see if more liquid is needed
  • For every 1 – 1.5 cups of liquid, the rice takes about 15-20 minutes of cooking over low heat to absorb the liquid
  • Once the stock/clam juice has been absorbed, add in 1 cup of water at a time, intermittently stirring and keeping covered to make sure it is being absorbed and more liquid is not needed
  • At some point, taste the rice to see if it needs any salt or pepper
  • You will know the rice is done once the grains have expanded and it is edible (you don’t want the rice to be hard). Take the pot of rice off the heat and set aside.
Roast the red pepper over a low flame (only applicable for gas-burning stoves).
  • If you’ll be roasting your red pepper over a gas flame, grab some tongs to assist. Roast the pepper over a low flame, turning every couple of minutes.
  • If is OK to leave the pepper on the cast iron burner for a minute or two (without holding it with the tongs), so long as the flame is very low.
  • Once the pepper grows soft and blackened, you’ll know it is thoroughly cooked. This process takes about 20-25 minutes.
  • Take your roasted red pepper, and slough off the blackened/charred skin, before cutting into 1-inch chunks.
Sorry my pictures suck – I screenshotted videos from my Instagram stories! If you check out my Instagram highlights, I have videos illustrating this recipe.
Here is the roasted pepper, charred bits sloughed off and cut into chunks
  • Next, you’ll want to prepare your chicken (vegetarian-chicken) stock, if it is not coming directly from a box
  • Heat up 2 cups of water over medium heat in a small sauce pan and add in 1.5 tsps of the ‘Better Than Bouillon’ and stir until dissolved
  • Empty the stock into a pyrex measuring cup or small bowl; you’re going to use the same small saucepan to make your bisque
I love this shit. It tastes just like chicken stock, but it is vegetarian. Please note: it does not taste like the weak-ass veggie stock that comes in a box and tastes nothing like chicken stock. This is the real deal and a perfect substitute
  • Next, you’re going to heat up the 1 Tbs. of butter in the same sauce pan you heated up your stock in, over low heat
  • Add in the chunks of roasted red pepper, and 2-3 Tbs. of the tomato paste and stir together over low heat
  • Add in 1/2 cup of the wine, and stir
  • Add in a 1 – 1.5 cups of the stock and stir; you’ll want this mixture to remain fairly thick
  • Pour the contents of your pot into a blender, and blend on medium
  • Add the blended contents back to the sauce pan, and add in a few Tbs. of heavy cream or a generous dollop of sour cream and stir over low heat
  • Add in a pinch of cayenne, and salt and pepper to taste
  • Feel free to add more liquid (either stock or cream) if needed, until the consistency is that of a thick soup, if it is not already
  • Set aside the bisque
The key to a good pan-seared scallop is to pat them completely dry, and, as I only recently found out, always cook them in cast iron (the stainless steel just doesn’t yield the same results)

  • Next, you’ll want to pat your scallops dry with a paper towel, and sprinkle with salt and pepper

    • In a cast iron skillet, heat 2 Tbs. butter over medium heat
    • Once the butter is sizzling, add in your scallops, and cook for about 1.5 – 2 minutes on each side, until they are golden brown
    Seriously, I cannot stress enough the difference cooking the scallops in a cast iron pan made
    • Set the scallops aside, and re-heat the bisque and rice (if necessary)
    • To plate: put a ladle of bisque onto a plate, a pile of rice slightly to the side, and arrange your scallops around the rice.
    • Garnish with freshly chopped chives and enjoy!

    Crab Corn Risotto, and Summer Goals

    One of my favorite risottos that I’ve ever made – there was an equal amount of corn to rice, so I didn’t feel overly-full after going to town and consuming three servings

    There is a recipe … I promise. If you’re only here for the recipe, scroll down! If you’re here for my bullshit, welcome 🙂

    Let me preface this by saying this is MY favorite risotto that I’ve ever made. I basically replaced half of the uncooked rice with corn, so it was light, delicious, and I kept going back for more. I also really love crab meat….

    Life has been boring yet crazy these last few months. My boyfriend has been working like a dog, and I legit never seen him. He works 7 days a week. We usually have one or two nights a week off (Monday and/or Tuesday between 7-11pm). He’s always working…ALWAYS. We haven’t had a full day off together since February, and as a result, I’ve become more neurotic than normal. Not sure if this is a good thing, or a bad thing. I’m kind of on the fence.

    I have a lot of alone time to focus on myself and reflect, which is good since I am an anti-social introvert, at the end of the day. It is also bad, since I am an anti-social introvert, who hates most people and social engagements, at the end of the day. I spend a lot of time talking to friends online, and I have one or two friends I see regularly in-person. It is what it is… I feel like being alone makes me even bitchier than I already am sometimes. But I also love being alone, because I can always be my true self… it’s a double-edged sword for sure.

    The view from my roof, which they told us would be a “finished” roof when we first moved into this apartment back in 2017… so much for those false promises
    View of Manhattan (and the local projects) from my roof

    Every time I go out, I spend way too much money. I don’t think I can go out and have a night under $200. Maybe this is just me? I don’t know. I drink too much, I get lazy and spend money on Ubers when I should just take a subway instead (times are dangerous, no?). This makes me not want to go out at all. I’m trying to fucking save money. I want to leave this city – I want to buy a house. I want to quit my job. However, sometimes I am forced to spend money…namely, every time I engage with another human face-to-face. A girl has to keep a few friends, or else, what does she really have at the end of the day??? It’s a tough situation… I also buy myself clothes when I’m feeling down, which is increasingly often.

    I’ve been using all of this extra free time to focus on bettering myself both physically and mentally.

    Me and my baby… I cannot do floor exercises without my cats crawling underneath of me, laying next to me, or otherwise interfering

    My goal this summer (besides traveling to Europe to see the in-laws, whom I haven’t seen since 2018, and taking an actual vacation), is to wear shorts… in public. I know this sounds stupid to most people reading this. Maybe it is stupid. The sad truth is, I hate my legs – I have hated them since puberty/age 12, when they went from being knobby-kneed chicken legs to the most curvaceous and voluptuous part of my-otherwise-thin-and-muscular body. I feel like they don’t fit the rest of my body – they’re the first place to gain weight and the last place to lose it. I swear to god – if I eat a huge meal or binge eat for a few days, my stomach is still flat and has definition, but I will be a pant-size bigger because everything accumulates on my inner thighs and on my ass. I know that this is on par with today’s standards of beauty… but I grew up in the 90’s and I’m not about that thick-slim lifestyle, alright??? It’s cool if you are, But I’m just not. We all have our personal aesthetics – some women want boob jobs and Brazilian butt lifts. I want a thigh gap and a six pack.

    I’m not saying I’m not thin – I know that I am thin by normal standards. But here’s the thing – I am 5’3″ with a small build….I have small bones and I’m tiny. In pictures with a group of people, my head looks like half the size of other people’s heads. I don’t want to walk around with a Kardashian-sized ass… it doesn’t fit my body or my personality or my aesthetic. And this is why, for the first time in my life, I have been busting my ass (no pun intended) to do actual work outs.

    When I was younger (i.e. up until a few years ago), I would just start skipping meals to lose weight. This time, I’m actually doing it right. I’m still eating… just a lot healthier. When I was younger and wanted to lose weight, I would just eat one meal a day and make it whatever I wanted – a burger and fries, a milkshake, a steak, 1/3 of a cake….nowadays, they call this “intermittent fasting,” and it’s what the cool kids do. It’s what the Silicon Valley boys do.

    I can’t do that shit anymore. I actually get hungry before 3pm these days. So now, I’m eating salads for breakfast at like 10am, trying to refrain from drinking a bottle of wine each night, and not eating after 7pm. Which, by the way, is extremely difficult to do in NYC, because whenever you make plans or a dinner date, it’s cooler and more romantic to eat later at night. Having a social life is harder now. Every time someone makes dinner plans for 8pm, I just want to be like “BITCH… I’m not 26 anymore. I can’t drink four glasses of wine and eat a fucking pizza at 8:30pm without waking up 6 lbs. heavier.”

    Anyhow, I’ve actually been making sure I get out for walks EVERY SINGLE DAY. Even when I’m tired or hungover, even when work has been hell, even when it’s cold. I make sure I get my ass out there for at least 3 miles a day. I’ve also been doing push-ups, leg lifts, wall sits, and jumping around each and every day. I’m not 26 anymore, and starving myself while still being lazy isn’t an option that works for me at this point in my life.

    I will not spend another Summer ashamed to put on shorts. I will not spend another Summer wearing tight-ass, black, skinny jeans in 95 degree heat for a 5 mile walk with my friend. No… not this year. I remember I once when to Vegas with my family. I was 19 and it was the summer of 2007. I had gained maybe 15 lbs. in college that year, and even though it was 103-105 degrees every day in Vegas, I refused to wear shorts or put on a swimsuit and get in the pool. Last year, I came pretty close to feeling this way. In the beginning of lock-down, my boyfriend didn’t even want me going out for walks because he thought I’d catch COVID and die (been there, done that… I didn’t die — I didn’t even get sick (minus still having phantom smells 7 months later), but that’s another story). I basically sat at home for three months, did no exercises and binge-ate out of boredom. I gained weight, and I hated myself. I hate living in a body that I hate. It’s like being in a prison. Maybe not everyone feels this way – they shouldn’t. I honestly hope no one EVER feels this way, but I do.

    After taking years of dance lessons in front of a large mirror with other girls, and knowing my body so well, how it moves, how it responds to certain exercises – I’ve realized that this body is my home. This is where my mind and my soul and my personality all have to co-exist. In order all components to live in harmony, my body needs to be in shape. In order to be mentally and emotionally healthy and happy, I need to be happy with this shell that I inhabit.

    I bought these biker shorts last year and haven’t worn them out of the house. They’re too long (I hiked them up here), and high-waisted (I folded them over here). If worn how they’re meant to be worn (high-waisted and hitting above the knee), they make me look about 4’9″ and 20 lbs heavier.

    I bought these shorts at Walmart last year when I thought I’d take up jogging (what a JOKE) during the early days of the pandemic. I was inspired by my sister, who looks amazing in biker shorts. Me – not so much… these also haven’t left the house.

    Seriously though – I never want to spend another Summer in skinny, black jeans because I’m too self-conscious to wear shorts or dresses. I’m tired of being hot, uncomfortable, and feeling ashamed of and disconnected to my body. And it’s my own damn fault, for not doing more about it. You can’t just dislike something and be unwilling to make the effort to change it – whether it’s your body, your job, etc.

    Anyhow, let’s discuss this risotto!

    If you like crab meat and corn, look no further

    The RECIPE – Let’s get onto this stellar recipe:

    INGREDIENTS: 

    • (1) 16 oz. Can of pasteurized lump crab meat
    • 1 box (32 oz.) of seafood stock or, 3-4 cups of “Better than Bouillon – NO Chicken Base”
    • 1.5 cups of uncooked Arborio rice
    • 3 cups, cooked, blended sweet corn (use blender)
    • 1 large, finely-chopped roasted red pepper, or one small can of finely-chopped, roasted red pepper
    • 1 cup of white wine (any will do as long as it’s not too sweet – Sauvignon Blanc is ideal)
    • 1/2 medium white or yellow onion, finely minced
    • 1 cup finely grated Parmesan cheese
    • 1/3 cup half and half (light cream or heavy cream will also do)
    • 4 Tbs. butter
    • 3 Tbs. olive oil
    • 1 tsp. granulated garlic
    • 1 bay leaf (dried or fresh)
    • 1 tsp dried basil
    • 1 tsp dried oregano
    • salt and pepper to taste
    • fresh parsley to garnish

    DIRECTIONS:

    • Cook 3 cups of corn over high heat until done
    • Blend corn with 1/3 cup water in blender and set aside
    • In a large wok or deep saucepan, heat the olive oil over low heat and add in the minced onion
    • Cook onion over very low heat (being careful not to burn it) for about 1-2 minutes
    • Add in the rice (yes – the secret to good risotto is slightly cooking the dry rice in the olive oil for a couple of minutes without liquid… I don’t know why, but it adds a depth of flavor)
    • Continue to stir and cook the rice over a low heat until it’s completely covered in the oil and begins to become ever-so-translucent in color
    • Raise the heat to medium and add in the white wine (I like to turn up the heat of the burner before adding the wine so that it makes that nice ‘SSSSSsssssss!!!’ sound when it his the hot pan)
    • Risotto is a dish that has to be stirred pretty much continuously – you can’t really step away from more than 30 seconds, so START STIRRING… and don’t stop!
    • As the liquid is absorbed by the rice, add in roughly 1 cup of seafood stock or fake chicken stock at a time, and keep gently stirring until it’s been absorbed
    • Alternate liquid stock with blended corn mixture
    • After you’ve added the first cup of stock and 1st cup of corn mixture, and once the rice is moist, add in the bay leaf and other seasonings (granulated garlic, basil, oregano, salt and pepper)
    • Keep adding cup after cup of stock or blended corn mixture, until you’ve used up the entire contents of the corn mixture, and most of the stock.. by this point, the rice should be pretty tender, but neither dry nor too saturated in liquid
    • Add in the half and half (or cream) and continue to stir
    • Stir in the grated Parmesan cheese and the butter
    • Add in the chopped roasted peppers and stir
    • Add in the can of crab and gently stir
    • Continue cooking over low heat, sample and see if any additional seasonings are needed
    • Add in the butter and turn off the heat… stir until butter is melted and incorporated thoroughly
    • Add more salt/pepper to desired taste (if necessary)
    • Remove the bay leaf, and serve on a plate – garnish with fresh parsley and voila!

    And now, for an update on the homeless cats a few blocks away :

    Someone ripped down my sign requesting to build a shelter or provide a shelter in the community garden. That made me pretty fucking angry, as you can imagine.

    Who wants a port-a-potty in the community garden, and tons of plastic lawn ornaments and flags, but not a fucking cat shelter that looks like a mini cottage?! Evil Pentecostal church-goers… that’s who.

    I did, however, meet another person who has also been looking out for the cats, which was nice. Now, there is like a team of us making sure these two cats are fed and taking care of, and that brings me great joy.

    #cheers

    Paccheri, Saving Cats, and the Welcome Return of Low-Rise Pants

    Last Sunday’s dinner. My entire life is dedicated to working a job to pay the bills, cooking, and worrying about cats… whether my own, or local strays.

    If you came here for the recipe, scroll down…. because I’ve got a lot to say that isn’t about pasta.

    I feel like it’s the Fall of 2011 again, because I am currently obsessed with looking after a couple of homeless cats in need, and the thought of saving them is currently consuming almost every waking thought. I don’t know why I get so obsessed with these things from time to time.

    It’s literally like the year that Bijou, his sister, “Pot Pie,” and his mother showed up in my parent’s backyard when I was living at home after college, and my entire life’s focus and goal became saving those cats. After we were able to live-trap them and get them spayed/neutered, I built a shelter from scratch using a large, dog kennel, tarps, and my own, down coat. This shelter not-so-lovingly was soon referred to as “tent city”, and my dad, mom, and sister were all pretty appalled by the situation happening in the backyard, since my homemade shelter stuck out like a sore thumb when you looked out the living room sliding door. I must admit, it was pretty trashy looking, but it was functional and kept the cats warm and dry.

    I remember coming home from work and checking on the cats to make sure they were all accounted for and using the shelter and had been fed. The only thing I would look forward to after each and every miserable shift at Hollister in Binghamton, was coming home to check on and take care of those cats. I even bought a fucking electric blanket that I made my parent’s keep plugged in on the front porch all winter long, and I turned the Adirondack chair into a secondary shelter for them – covered in blankets and sheepskins, with the electric blanket underneath.

    I literally cannot stand to see or be aware of an animal in need or distress. I don’t give a fuck about most humans – judge me however you want. Unless a human is a baby or a child in a fucked up situation, they can ask for help and they have unlimited resources to get help. Animals are defenseless and at the mercy of humans who either are kind enough to help them out, or ignore them and let them suffer.

    I am imploring anyone who is reading this right now, to ask around and see if anyone you know would like to take in a street cat as a pet, or knows someone who can help get them homed. I’ve reached out to several local organizations, but most of them are TNR (trap/neuter/release). They all seemed happy to hear the cats were spayed and had a regular feeder, but told me in order to have them fostered out, we will first need to know if the cats are friendly.

    I met the cats’ feeder, an older lady, who “claims” that she feeds them twice daily. I have reason to believe her claim is bullshit though, since I now make the effort to walk by the parking lot where the cats live, twice-daily, to check on them. I also bring food and fresh water to feed them if I don’t see evidence that they’ve already been fed. At least I know the cats are both spayed, which she also told me, since they have the telltale clipped ears.

    I left laminated notices on the the community garden next to the parking lot where the cats live, to see if the people gardening there would be ok with me placing a shelter for the cats in the garden. The garden is really shitty and adorned with crappy plastic lawn ornaments, etc., so I don’t know why they’d be opposed to me placing an nice, cottage-style cat lodge there. No one has responded to my post yet though, and I am getting more and more disturbed.

    I will literally go on a fucking hunger strike if I need to, in order to get these cats the help they need. I am willing to throw down $200 of my own money to buy shelters, but I can’t just buy shelters and place them behind a gated garden without someone a) letting me into the gate, and b) ensuring they will not be thrown out.

    Today, I saw the older, mangier looking cat sleeping on a discarded pillow that made its way under the front of a truck parked in the parking lot… it fucking broke my heart. I cannot let these cats go on living this way, when my own two, spoiled cats are fat, happy, warm, healthy and loved. I would take the cat in myself, but I have a one bedroom apartment and two male cats, so bringing in a third just isn’t going to work.

    This is the cat I worry about the most – she is much older and unhealthier looking than the second one who lives here
    This is the younger, healthier looking cat. She seems much more skittish and has not let me pet her.

    Anyhow, enough about the cats. I will find a way to help them, whether it’s a shelter or helping them to be vetted and fostered out.

    It was a rainy walk home to Brooklyn from Manhattan last Sunday.

    Last Sunday, I was doing my usual walk home from Elsie Rooftop back to Brooklyn, when I was suddenly inspired to stop by Eataly and spend money I shouldn’t be spending on overpriced pasta.

    The night before, I was scrolling through the ‘gram and saw an upright, tubular pasta dish that this Italian food blogger/cook I follow on Instagram had posted, and I felt the urge to make something similar. And so, in the pouring rain, I stopped by Eataly Flatiron for the key ingredients – a large, tubular pasta that could be stuffed and baked in an upright position, and a good quality ricotta. I was pleasantly surprised to find Eataly was not as busy as usual (I guess because of the rain), so I had time to meander the aisles and find the perfect ingredients without feeling stressed.

    I have probably said this before, but I wish I could live in Eataly. I miss sitting at the wine bar though, which is still closed do to the COVID bar restrictions
    I purchased this large bag of paccheri for $11. Because each noodle is so large, a little bit goes a long way. You only need about 6-7 noodles per serving, so I will be able to create two more dishes with this same bag.
    I found a smoked ricotta in the cheese section, which I have never tried before, and couldn’t resist.

    Have I ever mentioned I hating out these recipes from my head, and that’s why I don’t do it as often as I should? LOL. I know this was supposed to be food and recipe blog… I love cooking, but man do I hate taking the time to type out the recipe.

    The Morning Star brand sausage patties are my favorite fake-sausage alternative for when you need crumbled sausage

    INGREDIENTS:

    1. Large, tubular pasta (paccheri or cannelloni work best)
    2. 1/3 cup good quality ricotta (or smoked ricotta)
    3. 1/2 pound ground sausage (or meatless sausage)
    4. 2 cups fresh spinach or arugula
    5. Container of Mushrooms (baby bella), coarsely chopped
    6. 1/2 medium sized white or yellow onion, finely chopped
    7. 1/3 cup olive oil
    8. 2 Tbs. butter (or butter substitute)
    9. 2 Tbs. flour
    10. 1/2 cup finely grated Parmigiano-Reggiano
    11. 2 cups Whole milk (or milk substitute – I used oat milk)
    12. 1 tsp. granulated garlic
    13. 2 tsp. dried oregano
    14. salt and pepper to taste
    15. pinch of nutmeg
    16. coarsely chopped fresh basil or parsley

    DIRECTIONS:

    • If using the recommended Morning Star Sausage, cook for 1.5 minutes in microwave, then roughly chop into crumbles and set aside
    • Heat about 3 tablespoons of olive oil over low heat in a large saucepan, and add in the minced onions. Stir occasionally until translucent.
    • Add in the chopped mushrooms, and cook over low heat, stirring occasionally, until soft (8-10 minutes).
    • Add in a 2 Tbs. of butter and let melt
    • Add in 2 Tbs. of flour, to form a roux
    Pictured here: the onions and mushrooms in the roux (butter + flour)
    • Gradually add in milk or milk substitute, increasing the heat to medium.
    • Stir continuously, and add in the grated parm and the seasonings (it should go without saying, but taste your sauce to see what it needs more of)
    Add the milk slowly, as you want the sauce to be the right consistency – it will get thicker after the cheese is added in as well
    • Once the sauce seems to be the proper consistency, stir in your sausage crumbles (or, if using real sausage, your ground meat), as well as the fresh arugula or spinach
    • Continue to stir over low heat until spinach/arugula is cooked and meat is cooked through (if you are using real sausage)
    The finished sauce
    • Bring a pot of heavily salted water to a boil, and once boiling, cook the pasta to the al dente specifications on the the bag or box
    • Once the pasta is cooked, drain, rinse with cold water, and set aside
    • Heat oven to 350, and butter a casserole dish or dutch oven
    • Using a ladle, cover the bottom of the casserole dish in a layer of sauce… this will be the glue into which you’ll be able to stand the cooked noodles upright
    • Arrange the pasta noodles standing up
    • Once the noodles are organized and covering the floor of the dish, use a pastry bag, large ziplock, or a small teaspoon to fill the noodles with the sauce mixture
    • Bake uncovered for 25 – 30 minutes
    • Plate noodles standing in upright position, and top with ricotta and fresh basil or parsley
    Voila!

    The whole time I just spent typing up this recipe, I was thinking of those cats… I’m telling you, I won’t rest until something has been done and I know they have a home or at least a safe shelter. I can’t sleep or relax knowing they are three streets down without a soft and warm place to sleep.

    Found these Free People jeans on Poshmark for $30

    In other news, I probably should stop buying things I don’t need from Poshmark. I mean I found these awesome bell bottoms, but I also bought some heart shaped sunglasses I probably don’t need and might never get a chance to wear.

    Time to go cook tonight’s dinner and brainstorm ways to save those cats. I might just go hang out around the community garden tomorrow and see if I can find a person to talk to about putting a shelter there.

    Cheers fam.

    All the Snow I Wanted

    A scene from my parents’ backyard upstate – I feel like Charles Deetz in Beetlejuice when I am home because I can spend hours sitting on the couch bird watching through my dad’s binoculars. This is how I know I am getting old….

    My birthday has come and gone, and once again I didn’t don any of the sexy dresses I have been stockpiling over the last year. I have probably purchased upwards of six dresses (on sale, of course) at this point, because they were heavily discounted and I was looking forward to a future date when I could finally get glammed up and wear one in public (instead of the confines of my own apartment). Buying all of these tight, short, plunging-neckline dresses has honestly kept me sane and motivated throughout the last year that the world has been mostly locked down and we’ve all been looking forward to brighter days. Needless to say, we aren’t quite there yet. If I had celebrated my birthday in the city with my boyfriend, I probably could have worn a more scandalous dress – it also didn’t help that I celebrated the day of my birthday upstate with my family. I was definitely not about to rock a bodycon dress and thigh-high boots at Remlik’s in Binghamton, NY with my parents and my sister’s family (more on Remlik’s below… it is my new fave).

    It was so nice to be at my parent’s house for almost a full week, even if I was still technically working (I was lucky for once, and work happened to be very slow that week). I had to go upstate early (before my boyfriend and I had our mini-vacation in New Hampshire) to drop the cats off at the cat lodge, since they don’t do pick-ups or drop-offs on Sunday. I also had Monday, February 15th, off for President’s Day, so it was my only day to travel up without work interfering, and the only day my boyfriend could drive me, since he works all three weekend days.

    I was happy to find plenty of white snow on the ground when I arrived upstate, and plenty more that would fall over the course of the next five days. I fucking love snow… probably because I don’t have to shovel it (which, truth be told, I actually enjoy doing since it is a good upper-body workout) nor do I have to drive in it. Anyhow, because work was slow, I was able to get out for daily walks and enjoy some time with my family. I celebrated my 33rd birthday at Remlik’s in Binghamton. I would highly recommend to anyone in the area. It was my first time there and I chose it specifically because I knew they had a raw bar and sushi. The oysters were awesome (when are they not?), the cocktails were lit (I tried three), and the food was great. The place was also really pretty and cavernous inside – dark wood, huge bar, good lighting. The ambiance and service were amazing – our waitress was super nice and accommodating to my niece and nephew, and the music was right up my alley (they played Massive Attack, Moby, and Depeche Mode… I mean, come on….(and yes, I am perpetually living in 1997)).

    Seriously my new favorite restaurant upstate (or at least right up there with Peekamoose and Bull & Thistle). The cocktails were delightful, the oysters were great, and the menu and food itself was awesome. The ambiance was also really nice – a great restaurant for a date or special occasion.

    After five days of almost continual snowfall, half-assed bird-watching, and gorging myself on the copious amounts of food available in my parents’ fridge and cupboards (dude – they have a whole drawer just for chips…), my boyfriend picked me up on Sunday afternoon and we made the six and a half hour drive to North Woodstock, NH.

    Since we boarded the cats, we were able to stay in an actual inn, instead of a pet-friendly Airbnb. I did miss having a hot tub and wood-burning fireplace, but it was nice to have the bar and restaurant right there.

    We stayed at The Woodstock Inn Brewery, in North Woodstock, right at the foothills of the White Mountain range. I stayed here a handful of times as a child on family vacations, and was really happy to be back as an adult. The place is better than I remember it. I think the part I honestly enjoyed most, was just being off work for a full week – shutting my laptop, ignoring emails, not having to answer to anyone. I really, REALLY needed that. We stayed Sunday night through Thursday morning, and in those four days we really didn’t do much besides eat, shop and chill. Honestly, just what I needed. I never chill…. ask anyone who knows me (*unless I’m in a highly intoxicated state of being).

    The drinks and food onsite were good – they offer a really great deal to guests wherein breakfasts are totally free, and I’m talking FULL, AWESOME breakfasts (crab Benedict, omlettes, fresh waffles, etc.). I normally do not even eat breakfast, but I’m certainly not going to say ‘no’ to crab and eggs Benedict with hollandaise sauce and a bloody Mary at a more reasonable hour of 11am. We would be full until dinner time after those breakfasts, so it worked out perfectly.

    View from the beautiful Kancamagus highway, that cuts over the mountains from Lincoln, NH to North Conway, NH. We accidentally got caught in a blizzard on the first day we made the drive to North Conway to do some shopping in the outlets… oops.
    The blizzard we had to drive through on our way back from North Conway…. great for photo ops

    If we had gone in the Summer or Fall, there would have been significantly more to do in the way of physical activity and outdoor activity (hiking, etc.). We could have gone skiing, but didn’t plan ahead, and to be honest, I have never been skiing, so I would need some classes (to be even more honest – I have no desire to ski, although maybe I would like it if I tried it). Instead, we enjoyed good food, the scenery, and each others company (to the extent possible, since my boyfriend was still answering phones and emails for the better part of each day 🙂 #cheers).

    One of the highlights for me was the gondola ride we took at Loon Mountain Resort… it was so cool seeing all of the mountains and ski slopes from that height!
    View from a pull-off on the Kancamagus hwy the day after our perilous journey through a blizzard. We literally couldn’t see any of these views the first day since we drove through a snowstorm.

    Naturally, the pictures I’m posting here aren’t doing any of these views justice. If you’re looking for a drive-able destination with some new scenery and you like mountains and/or snow, I would really suggest looking into a mini trip to the White Mountains. Especially if you like skiing/snowboarding – so many resorts and slopes everywhere. While we were in ski country, I attempted to find a ski suit for my weekend excursion to the Poconos with two friends. Needless to say, it didn’t happen, since I was looking for something along the lines of THIS but could only find, expensive, boring-ass ski wear in all of the shops. There was no way I was about to drop good money on some ugly crap that I would never wear. I ended up finding a ski suit from ASOS for a heavily discounted price that I wore last weekend in the Poconos, where yet again, I ended up not skiing… go figure….

    View of Mt. Washington, the highest point in the Northeastern United States. In the Summer months, you can drive your car to the pinnacle – I actually drove up with my family as a child, and let me tell you, it’s pretty scary since the mountain is sheer rock and there is only a flimsy guardrail separating the road from the side.

    We actually lucked out with the weather while we were there, because after the first day of crazy snow, the remaining days were fairly mild for this time of year (high 30s). I really didn’t want to come back to NYC, which is what happens every time I go away, but I was happy to be reunited with my cats after a several days away from them.

    Another view of Mt. Washington… the pictures aren’t doing any of the mountain scenery justice. I have videos from our mountain excursion posted to my Instagram highlights that give a slightly better overall image.

    I really am feeling refreshed and rejuvenated after my time at home and my time in New Hampshire. I hadn’t had more than a full week off of work since early August when I went away with my family, but that trip was without my boyfriend. We haven’t had more than a couple of days off together, since I don’t even know when… one of us is always working and we have opposite schedules. It’s honestly been forever. I feel slightly more prepared to push forward and tackle life again. Before this trip I was in a rut and started to have that “fuck it/this/everything” attitude. I couldn’t make myself focus or give a shit about anything, including my job. I’m feeling revived though…. not totally, but much better off than I was before this trip.

    Hopefully one day very soon I can put all of these dresses to good use…
    Same dress, different view.
    The For Love or Lemons collection for Victoria’s Secret… this baby was on sale for 1/4 of the original price… how could I NOT?! I thought it would be perfect for Valentine’s Day… fun, flirty, romantic… naturally, my boyfriend worked so I spent the day alone. What’s new? 😀
    The sleeves can be worn up (as intended) or off to the side. I don’t think I’d be able to eat in this dress because of how tight it is though… oh well… I prefer cocktails over food anyhow.

    New York is Dead… for Now

    It’s true what they say, New York is dead. It’s not just dead… it’s a dirty, dangerous, ghost town, where crime is rampant, garbage is everywhere, and storefronts and restaurants are empty. Everyone with money left – they went to their houses in the Hamptons, or bought a house upstate. Others, who are not rich, but lost their jobs in the pandemic and couldn’t possibly continue to pay NYC rent, also left. They went back to whatever hometown they originally came from – either to live rent free with their family for a while, or if they could afford to do so, they made the move to another city or town somewhere other than here – perhaps to a city that is still alive with a hospitality industry that hasn’t been totally SHIT ON by the Governor. I’m still here, because I can’t afford to move (yet), and also because my job is based here (even though I work remotely, and pray we will be able to continue to do so for the rest of eternity). My boyfriend’s job is also here, and sadly his is a job that cannot be done remotely (restaurant/hospitality industry). If I had the money or option to just pick up and leave, believe me, I would have done so years ago… I’ve wanted to leave NYC for the last three years, but these past 10 months have been the nail in the coffin, my friend.

    I’ve lived here since 2012, and before that, I did two years of college here from 2006-2008. I can honestly say, I’ve never seen the city so dirty, run-down, dangerous, or deserted as it is right now. Everyday, random people are getting slashed on sidewalks, pushed into oncoming subway trains, randomly attacked at subway stations IN BROAD DAYLIGHT, etc.. I’ve never been scared to ride the subway alone – especially during rush hour or in broad daylight (apart from when a terrorist attack happened elsewhere and made me dwell on an attack happening on the subway…). Now? I avoid the subway at all costs unless I’m with my boyfriend. I had to take it the other day to run an errand for work, and during rush hour, RUSH HOUR (8:30am) the train was totally deserted and the stations were totally deserted, save for a few homeless people. It’s eerie, and straight up dangerous. There’s not a soul around to see you if you get attacked or hear you scream for help. All of Chambers St. station in lower Manhattan was TOTALLY empty.

    In the past 6 months or so, the times I do ride the train, what I see is tragic. There are more homeless people than ever before – also a lot of criminals and mentally ill homeless people, and also criminals that have been released from prison due to COVID. People who commit violent crimes are being released back onto the streets… and it shows. I’m not saying that the homeless people are the issue – although it’s clear HOMELESSNESS itself, IS an issue. It’s the violent, psychopaths starting fights and carrying knives that I’m talking about. The shit I’ve seen in the last few months, I have never ever seen before in my years in NYC… and believe me, as someone who rode the subway everyday and used it at night… I’ve seen some shit in my years (a guy masturbating into his coat, had my ass grabbed on a crowded train, people riding the train in underwear, people having psychotic breakdowns on the train, a fight on the platform… the list goes on).

    A month ago, I was traveling back to Brooklyn from Manhattan with my boyfriend and I saw what appeared to be a homeless man, robbing another homeless man, who was either dead or hopefully just knocked out on drugs and in a wheelchair. I have seen junkies shooting up heroin on the stairs of subway stations at 5pm, making no effort to hide what they’re doing and had to step around them to exit the station. There are no cops to be seen anywhere these days. There used to be officers randomly patrolling the subway stations at all hours of the day – but especially the busy stations (Union Square, 34th Street, 42nd Street/Times Square) and especially during rush hour. Now? I never see a single officer. Like who would I even report what I saw to (in the case of the dead/drugged up homeless guy)? Who would I scream to for help if someone tried to assault me?

    I’m not even scared to ride the subways because of COVID. I’m scared because of the lack of people, and the growing increase of subway violence. Just a couple of weeks ago, some guy was punching/beating up women at a subway station in Bushwick, not too far from my house. The attacks were happening around 8pm… a perfectly acceptable time for a woman to be riding the subway alone. Not that that should even be a FUCKING THING – “an acceptable time” for a woman to ride the subway….. Women should be able to safely ride the subway at any time of the day or night by themselves and be and feel safe. What I’m trying to say, is that it’s not like the attacks happened at an off-hour, like 2am. After six different women got attacked by the same dude and at the same station, they finally caught this asshole. I hope he stays in jail for a long time and doesn’t get released back onto the streets because of COVID. I never thought I’d have to anxiously wait up for my boyfriend every weekend when he comes home from work, alone, at 11pm and on the train. But I do worry – it’s fucking dangerous out there. We both have pepper spray key chains now, but I’m not sure what good that will do if a psycho with a machete shows up in your subway care and no one else is there but you and him.

    There are straight-up tent cities/homeless compounds sprouting up everywhere – under the BQE (Brooklyn-Queens Expressway), on sidewalks, wherever. The trash removal and city cleaners have all experienced cutbacks, so there are just piles of trash and litter EVERYWHERE. I’m honestly not sure how the MTA is even going to survive since no one is riding it, apart from a few essential workers. The city is in legit shambles. SoHo, the mecca of tourist shopping, is also ghost town USA. More than half the stores are gone and the spaces remain empty with “For Rent” signs in them. I honestly don’t know how the city will ever recover from this. I don’t think it can.

    And if all of what I’m saying here has you thinking about the rebuke Jerry Seinfeld wrote in the NYTimes regarding New York NOT being dead, I’m pretty sure that mega rich asshole wrote that think-piece from his multi-million dollar estate in the Hamptons… not sitting inside his NYC townhouse while trash bags piled up on the side walk and a homeless person took a dump on the sidewalk. Furthermore, unless you currently still live here, you have no fucking say.

    I’m convinced all of the people who left have most likely realized they’re much happier wherever they went to – paying less rent, lower prices for groceries, people are pretty much nicer and more friendly everywhere else, and enjoying all that fresh air and more space. The only reason I ever came to NYC was for the job opportunities, culture, and nightlife. Now, that’s all gone. Why would I continue to live here as long as I can keep working remotely for the same company? Why would I choose to pay $2,350 a month for a 1 bdrm. apartment in a crappy neighborhood, when I could be putting that down on a mortgage for what is essentially a mini-mansion anywhere else in the country? Paying $20 for a fucking cocktail I can get for $9 anywhere else in the country? So I can have bragging rights that I live in NYC? I don’t think so….

    Anyhow, darling, this blog has totally evolved from the food blog it was once supposed to be. So, on that note, here is my recipe for mushroom carbonara (vegetarian, but not vegan):

    MUSHROOM CARBONARA

    INGREDIENTS:

    • 1/3 cup olive oil (plus 2 TBS. more to finish)
    • 3 Portobello mushrooms
    • 3 eggs (I try to buy my eggs directly from a farm where I can see the chickens in action – I know this isn’t a possibility if you don’t live near any small farms, but please splurge on your eggs, and at the very least please make sure they come from cage-free, free-range, humanely raised chickens)
    • Linguini or spaghetti
    • Fresh basil (finely chopped)
    • Fresh parsley (finely chopped)
    • 1/2 small white or yellow onion (finely minced)
    • 4 cloves of garlic (finely minced)
    • 1 cup of good-quality Parmigiano-Reggiano (finely grated)
    • 1 lemon
    • 1-2 tsp. dried oregano
    • 1/2 tsp. Smoked paprika (*optional* – adds a nice smokey flavor, similar to bacon)
    • Salt and black pepper
    • 1/3 cup pasta water (taken from the pot of boiling pasta, when it’s almost finished cooking)

    DIRECTIONS:

    1. Wash and chop your mushrooms and set aside; finely chop onion and garlic
    2. Heat olive oil over low heat in a medium-sized sauce pan, and add in finely chopped onion; stir occasionally over low heat until soft and translucent
    3. Once onion is soft and starting to yellow, add in the garlic and cook for another minute or so, being careful garlic does not burn
    4. Add in the chopped mushrooms, dried oregano, salt, pepper, a generous pinch of smoked paprika, and cook over low-medium heat for about 10-12 minutes or until mushrooms are thoroughly cooked
    5. Add in the chopped basil, cover, and turn heat to lowest setting (or off if your stove runs hot and will continue to cook)
    6. Prepare large pot of water (heavily salted) for pasta, but setting on high-heat and bringing to a boil
    7. While you wait for the pasta water to boil, beat together the three eggs, 1/2 cup Parmigiano, and juice from 1 lemon until you have a thick, rich “sauce”. Set aside
    8. Once the water is boiling, cook your pasta per the timing directions on the box (you’ll want it to be al dente)
    9. While the pasta is cooking, I will usually turn the heat back onto low (if I turned it off) to make sure the mushroom mixture stays warm; this is also when you want to use a ladle or measuring cup to extract and set aside 1/3 cup of the pasta water
    10. Drain pasta once it is done cooking, and then add it back into pot along with some extra olive oil, egg mixture, 1/3 cup of the reserved pasta water, an additional 1/3 cup of grated Parmigiano, and the chopped parsley
    11. You’ll want to taste-test now, to see if more pepper, salt, or fresh lemon might be necessary
    12. Mix together until the pasta is well coated and mushroom mix is uniformly distributed, and serve topped with an extra sprinkle of parm and fresh parsley!

    Cheers.

    A very COVID Christmas

    Halloween day – I dressed up for the sake of dressing up and to take a slutty selfie, but stayed home because it was the responsible thing to do… and because I had COVID

    Can you believe I started writing this blog a month ago and never finished? I sure as hell can. It’s been forever (what’s new?). This year is almost over, and the sad reality of a COVID Christmas season is upon us. I know I thought I had corona virus back in March, but I guess I was mistaken, because I actually tested positive for Corona last month, in October. Cheers fam. I survived unscathed… apart from the fact that four weeks later, I can still barely taste or smell. But if that’s the small price to pay for not being critically ill, well by God I’ll take it! So yeah, if you follow me on Instagram and wonder why I haven’t been cooking as much, it’s because for the last few weeks I haven’t been able to taste or smell ANYTHING. You could have held dog shit or the world’s most expensive perfume under my nose a couple of weeks ago, and I wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference because I wouldn’t have smelled either. As far as taste, that is also coming back. Two weeks ago I could only taste extreme salt or sugar. I couldn’t taste spicy though or sour. I could eat chocolate or Nutella and it would just taste sweet, but not chocolaty. I still can’t really smell or taste coffee. Thankfully, my sense of smell of taste and smell are slowly coming back… SLOWLY.

    Leading up to my positive diagnoses, I had a slightly elevated temperature and felt a bit “off” for about a week prior, but I thought it was the change of seasons. Honestly, a common cold would normally include worse symptoms than what I experienced. My throat didn’t hurt, but felt a little “tight.” Kind of like when you first turn the A.C. on when summer hits. I had no body aches, no cough, no real fever (my temp was like 100 degrees one day, but I thought it was because I was hungover). I knew that I needed to go get tested though, when I lost my sense of smell and taste one night… since normally I have the sensory capabilities of a bloodhound (I can usually smell if someone had one drink 6 hours ago and what the neighbor two floors down is cooking). I went to a walk in clinic knowing I was going to test positive, and sure enough I did.

    Needless to say, I wasn’t very hungry for the first couple of weeks that I couldn’t smell or taste, and much to my entertainment, I lost a few pounds. This was the only upside. Sadly, after I tested negative, I went home to watch my sister’s kids for five days (like all day and overnight… not just “babysitting”), on top of also working from home. The stress of this arrangement caused me to senselessly binge eat for five days straight and gain back all the weight I’d lost plus some. I can never win. I am honestly just thankful that I didn’t pass the virus onto my sister or to my niece and nephew, because they are the only people that I hung out with (other than my live-in boyfriend) for the week leading up to my diagnosis. I am also thankful that I lost my sense of smell and taste, otherwise I might have never gotten tested and unknowingly passed it onto my parents.

    SIDE NOTE (after watching kids and basically being a single mom for 5 days):

    If you are reading this and you are a mom, I applaud you. Legit props to any mothers out there, especially working moms. I don’t know how you do it, because I was ready to off myself numerous times throughout each day that I watched two kids, and I was so damn tired each night that it was honestly all I could do just to scroll through Instagram after the kids were finally asleep. Kids and motherhood are a beautiful thing for some people, but I’ve decided I am NOT cut out for that life. Furthermore, we all know that moms do like 90+ percent of the work when it comes to child-rearing and keeping the house clean and running functionally, so like, extra extra props to all of you.

    Anyhow, despite this last month that is both a total blur and a total shit-show, I’ve still been cooking (just not regularly posting what I cook). Because I have been cooking for so long now, I know how much of and which seasonings and ingredients to add, regardless of whether or not I can actually taste/enjoy the finished meal. It’s a true gift…. possibly the only thing I was gifted with in this life, besides my twisted sense of humor.

    A mushroom carbonara I made – literally the same way I would make a classic carbonara, but I used shitaake mushrooms in place of pig
    A vegetarian borscht I made, because I fucking love beets and soup
    A delicious Puttanesca I made while the BF and I were upstate this week. My niece made me watch so many episodes of ‘A Series of Unfortunate Events’ while I watched her, that I kept thinking about how when the movie first came out, I had such a craving for Puttanesca (if you haven’t seen it… don’t ask; if you have seen the movie, you’ll get it). My boyfriend said it was a “10” and coming from a born and raised Italian, that is the highest compliment I can get. It tasted pretty fucking good to me, even if my taste isn’t 100% restored
    I bought some really high quality anchovies from my favorite local Italian store – Tavola 35. You only need a few to make Puttanesca sauce – like 3-4.
    My new favorite brand of pasta – also from Tavola 35. They really come through for me. They’re even carrying nero di seppia now (a.k.a squid ink)! They legit have all of the nice ingredients I can’t find anywhere else
    Sorry (not sorry) for all of the food porn spam. I mean, that is what this blog WAS supposed to be about when I started it. I got this awesome mozzarella di bufala from (yep, you guessed it…) Tavola 35. It was so good. I used it on a really big salad while we were upstate.

    I don’t think that we are going home for Thanksgiving this year do to COVID cases picking back up and my boyfriend’s work schedule (and mine). It’s honestly not that tragic for me. Having worked a few years of retail in the past, I’ve missed a couple of Thanksgivings in my life, and I can honestly say that there are some upsides. I won’t have to dodge questions about why I don’t have any turkey on my plate. I also won’t end up binge eating for 4-days straight, which is usually what happens on any given weekend spent home (the stress of being with family, coupled with the availability of my favorite snacks, paired with the boredom of being in a rural town always sends me into a tailspin…). Honestly, missing Christmas is much more tragic… I’m hoping that doesn’t happen.

    Also, my sister and her family will be overseas, so that really takes away from the joy and excitement (kids really do make holidays better…my mom wasn’t lying). I think I’ll do a vegetarian or pescatarian Thanksgiving for just me and my boyfriend here in the city. I will plan to make all of the sides (mashed potatoes, *mushroom* gravy, stuffing, green bean casserole, etc.) and then do either a fo-turkey, or lobster or scallops as the main dish. I mean, you can’t pour mushroom gravy over seafood, but l’ll improvise and adjust all the dishes once I know for sure what the game plan is. My favorite Thanksgiving dishes were always stuffing and green bean casserole – both of which I have perfected in the art of making vegan, so that’s a done deal.

    As the pandemic drags on into the 10th month, and winter is fully upon us, the outlook seems bleak. The days are shorter, and we have complete night by 4:30pm each day. The impending doom of another shutdown/lock-down is also making anxiety and stress levels go up across the world. With everything being so dismal, it is important to take time out (when we can) and take care of ourselves (to the extent we can). I mean, if I was really taking care of myself, I’d probably need to see a therapist weekly, start hitting the gym, and stop drinking wine. But, alas… since these things aren’t possible in the time being, I resort to long baths and painting my nails. One of the worst things about the entire last ten months has been the fact that none of us (most of us) don’t really have anything to look forward to (or so it seems).

    It’s hard finding motivation to take care of yourself when you aren’t regularly seeing people or socializing. I find myself asking “what is the point?” more often than not. I miss being able to have future plans that I looked forward to – concerts, travel, parties, etc.. I know that these will come back one day (hopefully sooner than later), but in the meantime, I honestly don’t know what to look forward to, because even weekends kind of suck now.

    I did a self-tan recently and felt like a new woman. Painting my nails has also reminded me I am still a woman and worthy of my own attention and ‘self-care’ (such an overused term these days – I know). Literally, my “self care” when I was watching my niece and nephew was to get the coffee maker ready so that all I had to do was hit a button the next morning … LOL. Honestly though, with all the shit going on in the world and in our lives, it is important to do little things to make ourselves feel happier and more at peace with ourselves. Whether that is a fake tan that’s going to rub off on everything, or setting the coffee maker for the next morning, after a 16 hour day of rearing children and working.
    If you know me, you know I have a deep love of skorts (so I can get up to hijinks whilst remaining *semi* respectable) and of fuzzy/feathered texture sweaters and coats (it’s the raver in me…what can I say??)

    Anyhow. The way things are going, I am prepared for a very emo holiday season. Christmas is normally my favorite time of the year. This year is not looking so bright or merry with cases picking up all over the globe and everything shutting down again. Things were so promising for a few months – why the fuck couldn’t we keep it that way?! I’ll tell you why – because we got careless and sloppy and now we are all paying the price (myself included in this demographic).

    I am scared about getting laid-off if things haven’t improved by early next year. I am also scared about another shutdown of restaurants/bars here in NYC, since my boyfriend and most of my friends are working in the hospitality industry, and have either been out of work for months, or will be out of work again. Scary fucking times ‘yo. But honestly, what can we do? I guess all we can do is take it day by day and to appreciate the little things in this life. Or, rather, appreciate the important things.

    If you have a roof over your head (even if you’re scared of losing it in a couple of months), food in your fridge and in your belly, a small network of friends or a family who you know will help you out when times are tough, and if you are healthy, you are doing better than most of the world. Be thankful for all of these things that you might regularly take for granted. The worse this world gets, and the more uncertain my future is, the more thankful I am for even the things I used to take for granted (my health, my *sometimes dysfunctional* family, the people who love me unconditionally, having food to eat, etc.).

    Back to the Food – Split Pea Soup and Asparagus Fettuccine

    Got a bit derailed there for a while, regarding the last several blogs… but hey – isn’t that how life goes?  What fun would life be if you never derailed a bit?  Good to stay on your toes and take the punches as they come… or something like that.

    I am finally back to write about food/cooking after writing about my personal life, the quarantine, fictional characters by the name of Indigo, and whatever else I felt like writing about for the last several blogs.

    It’s not that I haven’t been cooking – I have been… it’s just that I don’t ever use precise measurements when I cook, and so when I think about trying to transpose the recipe as into written word, it’s a bit daunting trying to mentally compute the measurements of each and every ingredient I used.  In other words, I’m fucking lazy sometimes and it’s difficult to transmit what’s in my head into words after another long day of being me.

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    The best split pea soup I ever made (vegetarian option pictured here, with finishing touch of crème fraîche)

    If you know me, you also probably know that I’m obsessed with soups, both making them and eating them.  Split pea is one of my favorites, and the one I make is vegetarian, but would otherwise be entirely vegan, if not for the finishing touch of crème fraîche! I also want to apologize for the lack of ‘process’ photos for this – I actually made it for lunch while I was “working” (aka working from home, aka my laptop is open and minimal work is coming in)… so I failed to take or post any pics and videos for the ‘gram.

    INGREDIENTS:

    • 1 and 1/4 cups of dried, split peas
    • 2 medium-sized carrots (chopped)
    • 1/2 of a large white/yellow onion (finely chopped)
    • 4 cloves of garlic (finely minced)
    • 2 stalks of celery (diced)
    • 1 medium potato (Idaho or russet)
    • 4-5 tablespoons of olive oil (enough to cover the bottom of your pot)
    • 4 cups (one 32 oz. carton) of vegetable stock (**can use chicken stock if you’re not opposed)
    • 2-3 cups water (depends on how thick you want your soup to be!)
    • 2 tsp smoked paprika
    • 1 tsp celery salt
    • 1 tsp granulated/powdered onion
    • 1 tsp granulated/powdered garlic
    • a generous pinch of cayenne pepper
    • salt and pepper to taste
    • YOU WILL NEED A BLENDER OR IMMERSION BLENDER FOR THIS RECIPE

    TO FINISH (OPTIONAL):

    • Small dollop (a generous teaspoon) of crème fraîche or sour cream
    • Crackers, croutons, or a side of toasted baguette… I used the below bruschetta toasts, which I’ve really been digging lately:
    • IMG_1841

    DIRECTIONS:

    1. Prep the veggies – potato, carrots, celery should be washed; carrots should be chopped (relatively small pieces), onion finely chopped, garlic finely minced, potato chopped into cubes, and celery chopped.
    2. In a large pot, heat olive oil over low heat, add in the onions stirring occasionally and cooking over low-heat until translucent and yellow.
    3. Add in the garlic and continue to cook over low heat for another minute or two.
    4. Add in the split peas, all of the veggie stock, and a cup of water – raise temperature and bring to a gentle boil.
    5. Cook until the split peas are almost tender – about 25-30 minutes (I think?)… occasionally sample a pea or two to see how tender they are..
    6. Once the peas are almost tender, add in all of the other veggies (chopped carrots, celery, and potato), and then add in another cup of water.
    7. At this point, I add in my spices – add in the granulated (or powdered) onion and garlic, celery salt, a generous pinch of cayenne pepper, smoked paprika, black pepper and some salt.
    8. A TIP: Taste-test to see if anything more is needed spice/seasoning-wise. I honestly never measure my spices or salt/pepper when cooking – I start with a reasonable amount and add more as I go along.  This way you can achieve your desired taste, spiciness, level of salt, etc…. it’s always better to start with too little than too much!
    9. Continue to cook over medium heat (or at a low boil) for another 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. Check to see that vegetables are thoroughly cooked (soft) by sampling.  Once the potatoes, carrots, celery and split peas are all soft, it is time to blend!
    10. Using an immersion blender or a ladle to move soup into an actual blender, blend around 2/3 of the contents of the pot of soup. This creates a rich, thick puree, but also leaves some chunks of veggies for texture and aesthetic. When blending the split-pea soup, I try to avoid ladling the carrot pieces into the blender (some are obviously fine), in order to achieve added color and texture to the finished soup.
    11. Continue to keep soup over low heat once fully blended, add in more seasonings if necessary.
    12. Serve hot, with a small dollop of crème fraîche and some crumbled crackers/croutons/toasted bread.

    And now for the pasta dish!  This one was a hit – I topped with bacon for the BF and ate mine without, but it was every bit as flavorful!

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    Fettuccine with creamed asparagus sauce, finished with bacon (*bacon is of course, optional)

    INGREDIENTS:

    • Pasta of your choice (I prefer an egg noodle fettuccine for this dish, since it is lighter and holds the sauce well)
    • 3-4 strips of bacon, roughly chopped into bits (*this is optional)
    • 1 bundle of asparagus, cut into bite-size pieces (make sure to chop off the ends of the stalks and discard, as the base is very woody/fibrous)
    • 3 cloves of garlic (finely minced)
    • 4-5 tablespoons of olive oil (enough to cover the bottom of your saute pan)
    • 2 Tbs. butter (***if you opt not to use the leftover bacon grease)
    • 1 cup half and half
    • 1/4 cup water (*more or less depending on how thick your sauce is)
    • generous pinch of grated nutmeg
    • salt and pepper to taste
    • freshly shaved/grated Parmigiano-Reggiano to finish

    DIRECTIONS:

      1. For the pasta: fill a large pot with water, add a generous amount of salt, and set on high heat to bring to a boil.
      2. In a large saute pan, heat the olive oil over low heat, and add in the chopped bacon.  Cook over low-medium heat until desired level of crispiness.  Remove with slotted spoon and set aside in separate bowl.
      3. You can use the bacon-grease/olive oil in the saute pan as it is, if you’re OK with eating bacon – it will add more flavor to the sauce.  If you’re not OK with eating bacon, you’ll have to start with a fresh saute pan and olive oil.
      4. Add the chopped asparagus to the saute pan, and cook over low heat, stirring occasionally.  You’ll want to cook the asparagus like this until it is fairly tender, but not mushy. Add in the minced garlic after the asparagus has been cooking for about 6 minutes, being careful not to burn the garlic.
      5. Once the asparagus has cooked for about 10 minutes in the saute pan, add in the half and half and the water and bring to a low, rolling boil.  Cook for an additional 10 minutes in the liquid, stirring occasionally, until the asparagus is very tender.

    IMG_1848
    Pictured here:  the asparagus and garlic simmering in the half and half and water

    1. Add in the nutmeg, and salt and pepper to taste.
    2. Now that the asparagus is tender, you can either pour the contents of the saute pan into a blender, and blend on low, or, you can manually mash with a fork or masher (this is what I did).  Mashing by hand leaves more texture and visible bits of asparagus so sauce is not a complete puree.
    3. Once you’ve mashed down the asparagus, you may find the sauce is too thick and you need to add a bit more water or half and half!  You should also taste test to see if more seasoning is needed.

    4. IMG_1847
      I chose to hand-mash my asparagus, not only because the blender was dirty, but also because I like the added texture. You’ll know if you haven’t cooked the asparagus long enough, because it will be very difficult to mash by hand if not.
    5. Once you’ve achieved your desired level of thickness and taste, add in the butter, and stir until dissolved.  Leave the sauce on the lowest heat setting, so that it remains warm once pasta is done.
    6. Once your pot of pasta water is boiling, add in pasta and cook according to time suggested on pasta box.
    7. Drain the pasta once finished, and add to sauce, gently stirring/tossing to thoroughly coat the noodles.
    8. Serve on plate with freshly grated parm, and top with bacon (if desired)

    PHEW!  Writing these recipes really does take a lot more brain power and work than actually cooking them!

    I’m thankful that it’s Friday, so I don’t have to be on high alert watching my emails or glued to my laptop for the next couple of days.  I think the rest of the weekend is going to be cold and shitty, but honestly I don’t care… I’m kind of happy.  I’m definitely not feeling confident enough to wear summer clothes at this point, following almost 8 weeks of quarantine (aka binge-eating), so the cold and rain is a welcome relief… not like I could go out looking like a THOT anyhow since all bars, restaurants and clubs are still closed until further notice.  You hear that?  I’ve got a few more weeks to shape up… literally. LOL.

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    I made pizza from scratch today… probably doesn’t help my quarantine body, but since it’s a cold day, it’s always a good excuse to use the oven.

    In other news, I was tired of all of the white hairs springing up around my temples, and couldn’t possibly wait another month (or longer) to have a professional cover them.  I’ve never used dye at home before, and usually only get lowlights/highlights once every 4-5 months.  I was really overdue for some lowlights, and couldn’t bare the sight of the whites any longer, so I took a bold step and purchased custom dye from eSalon.  I was always scared to try anything with my hair at home because of lack of experience, but also I have a fear of burning off/chemically frying my hair to the point of no return.  My boyfriend assisted, and the result is pretty decent, in my opinion.

    IMG_1726 (1)
    Some vibrant red low-lights to help hide my multiplying whites and brighten me up.  I think I actually need to go a shade lighter next time, since my natural color is significantly lighter, and now my blonde brows look out of place… I’m going to wait for my hair dresser though.  It’s way better having someone else paint/wash your hair.

    What else can I say… not much is new, if you know what I mean.  I’ve got my daily routine down pretty pat at this point.  Work, walk, work, car ride, cook, TV time, sleep. Sometimes I’ll throw in a walk before work to spice things up, or if work is slow, cook in the middle of the day.

     

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    Pic from my BF’s job near Times Square… I like to go with him when he needs to go into Manhattan.  It’s basically like taking a mini vacation at this point to go into another borough or ride in the car!

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    Pic (taken from inside the car) of Times Square in the rain the other day

    I hope you’re all still staying safe and sane at this point.  I’m running out of inspiration for recipes since I’m kind of just over everything.  If there’s anything you want to see me cook or try my hand at, feel free to email me or DM on Instagram.  I’m always excited to try cooking new things (preferably without meat – but open to seafood)! #Cheers

    Quarantine Depression

    I’d like to start this blog off by acknowledging how lucky I am – I am still employed and able to work from home (for now… that may all change in the coming months), I have a roof over my head and food in my cupboards, I am healthy (physically-speaking… mentally, not so much), my family and friends are healthy, I’m not working from home while trying to parent/educate my children at the same time, and I am not a health care worker or food-service worker who has to put my own health at risk each and every day.  Shout out to everyone still going to work each day in the health industry, food-service industry, or whatever line of retail or service industry that has you leaving your house to deal with the general public – you’re the real MVPs.

    However, this quarantine, now that it has been extended another month, and the state of the world in general has made me feel extremely depressed, and has me wondering what the purpose of life is, if things will ever really get better, and feeling like nothing really matters.

    I have lost interest in things that brought me joy, like cooking (food shopping and cooking isn’t nearly as exciting as it was when I was trapped in an office all day and looking forward to coming home and unwinding by cooking something labor-intensive and exciting), writing (I started 3 different blog drafts about three weeks ago, finished none, and haven’t logged back onto WordPress until now), and painting (no inspiration whatsoever).  I feel trapped inside this apartment, trapped inside my mind, and I don’t even have a date to or event or anything to look forward to to keep me motivated.  It’s really hard to stay positive when you don’t even know when quarantine will end, or if things will ever go back to being even remotely close to how they were.

    Will we ever be able to go to concerts or festivals again?  Will restaurants and clubs and bars be the same when this is over?  Will we constantly be anxiously awaiting the next pandemic or disaster?  Even when this pandemic ends, there is still global warming and all of the shit that entails to deal with.

    I’ve tried to keep myself active by getting out for walks, if not daily, at least every other day.  They seem to help while I am on them, but after I return to my apartment and the high of walking 4 miles wears off, the depression sets in again.

    It’s a struggle not binge-eating because there is nothing else to do BUT eat, and I constantly have an empty void inside my soul that needs to be filled with something – whether that something is shopping, cooking, fun activities, or now, food.  If I eat too much than I get more stressed than ever, since I am not getting nearly the amount of physical activity I was when I was going into the office each day.  I’m not trying to body shame anyone, but the last thing I am going to deal with on top of all of this other shit is hating my body, since I have to live in it and see it every day.

    I miss my family and not knowing when I can go see them again without the fear that I might be carrying the virus and infect someone unintentionally.  I mean, I could get in a car tonight and drive upstate to stay with my parents, but that is not what we are supposed to do, and like I said, I might possibly and unintentionally get someone sick if I have been exposed to the virus.

    My boyfriend and I haven’t been to Italy together since August/September 2018.  We were looking forward to a trip this summer to spend time with his parents in Venice and to see his friends and travel to other countries for our own pleasure, and now all of that is not only on hold, but we don’t even know when travel bans will be lifted.  It’s just really stressful and anxiety provoking not to know what the future holds.  We cannot even make plans so that we have something to look forward to when all of this ends.

    My skin has been breaking out terribly, probably from a combination of stress and poor eating habits (excess sugar, excess fats, excess dairy in the form of cheese…). This in turn makes me even MORE STRESSED and fucking crazy.  I am trying to remain calm, but it’s kind of hard to do with this current state of affairs.  My skin is inflamed and aggravated with ugly, red, painful zits all over my cheeks and chin.  It is definitely a combination of hormonal acne and wearing a fucking mask every day when I go to run an errand or take a walk.  By the way – I know all of this is trivial bullshit compared to what others are dealing with and going through right now.  I know that this is trivial bullshit… but it still fucking blows.

    I wish I had a yard to sit in and to take in some fresh air, sans-mask.  I wish I had some woods to walk in or a lake to take a paddle boat or canoe out on, or just anything other than these ugly, grey, dirty NYC streets.

    IMG_1223
    The root of all evils 

    IMG_1218

    IMG_1167
    My finger and some extra heavy concealer are covering a few zits… but this picture was taken a few days ago and the situation is now 3x worse.  If you’ve ever suffered from cystic acne (which I have), you’ll know how mentally and emotionally destructive it is dealing with huge, ugly, painful acne on your face each day.

    IMG_1180
    Trying to hide my zits with a wine glass and party glasses with no lenses.

    I’m really trying to stay positive because I know having a positive mindset is everything… it’s just really hard right now.  Work has slowed to a crawl… which is scary but I also have more time to take an afternoon walk.  I guess only time will tell.  In the mean time, I am trying to focus on the things I can control… like staying semi-healthy and fit.